


High on our Bullshit

by Firestar506, MultiShipping_Trash, PangosTango



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Amami Rantaro Breaks the Fourth Wall, Awkward Flirting, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Flirting, Gen, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, High school crushes, Hijinks & Shenanigans, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Momota Kaito Is An Idiot (but means well), Near Drowning, Nonbinary K1-B0 (Dangan Ronpa), Ouma Kokichi Is A Little Shit, Ouma not Oma, Saihara Shuichi Is A Dense Motherfucker, So Does Shinguji Korekiyo, Update schedule? Who needs that, breaking up, chatfic, no one dies, religious talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 71,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28611867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firestar506/pseuds/Firestar506, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultiShipping_Trash/pseuds/MultiShipping_Trash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PangosTango/pseuds/PangosTango
Summary: Kokichi, troublemaking gremlin that he is, finds this brilliant little chat function on his Monopad. And uses it to create a group chat for the 16 trapped Ultimates. Oh dear.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Chabashira Tenko, Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro/Hoshi Ryoma, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko (one-sided), Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Iruma Miu/K1-B0, Ouma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 41
Kudos: 140





	1. In Which Kokichi Causes Problems On Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> Multi: Uh. I'm sorry for this? I had the idea for a chatfic and pulled the other two in, lol. This mess of chaos is the result. We had a lot of fun with it though, and we hope you do too!  
> Tango: Gonna be real honest there’s been a lot of late/sleepless nights that we’ve been up because writing this is just too fun :D. We hope y’all enjoy!  
> Fire: There was a point to all this. Then we threw it away like The Verge guy threw away his cpu socket cover

**Ouma Kokichi has added 15 people to a New Chat**

**Ouma Kokichi has changed the chat name to My Hoes**

**Ouma Kokichi has changed Ouma Kokichi to Mr.Sexy**

**Mr.Sexy:** welcome to hell

**Saihara Shuichi has changed Mr.Sexy to Gremlin Child**

**Saihara Shuichi has changed Saihara Shuichi to No**

**No:** Why.

 **Gremlin Child:** saihara-chan youre so mean >:(

 **Gremlin Child:** and why not

 **Tojo Kirumi:** What is the reason for this group chat?

 **No:** Three guesses and the first two don't count, Tojo-san.

 **No:** How am I mean, exactly.

 **Gremlin Child:** you changed my perfectly good name into this 

**Chabashira Tenko:** Of course it’s the degenerate males blowing up my notifications.

 **Chabashira Tenko:** Oh! I didn’t see you here, Hi Tojo-san!

 **Tojo Kirumi:** Is there something stopping you from changing your own name?

 **No:** please don't remind him.

 **No:** also, rude. Why am I a degenerate?

 **Chabashira Tenko:** All males are degenerates until proven otherwise!

 **Gremlin Child:** …

**Gremlin Child has changed Gremlin Child to Komaeda Kinnie**

**Amami Rantaro:** Hello Fourth Wall.

 **No:** Goodbye Fourth Wall. Hello Amami-san.

 **Tojo Kirumi:** Oh. Please excuse my rudeness. Hello Chabashira-san.

 **K1-B0:** ...do I… want to know?

 **No:** Probably not. Also I'm honestly surprised my name didn't get changed.

 **Kirumi Tojo:** I believe this is where your own words of 'please don't remind him' would be parroted back to you.

 **No:** Fuck.

 **Komaeda Kinnie:** your hubris will be your downfall saihara-chan 

**Komaeda Kinnie has changed No to Sherlock Homo**

**Sherlock Homo has left the chat**

**K1-B0:** I believe you upset him, Ouma-kun.

**Komaeda Kinnie has added Saihara Shuichi to the chat**

**Komaeda Kinnie:** :((( im sorry saihara-chan <3

 **Saihara Shuichi:** are you really.

 **Komaeda Kinnie:** would you believe me if i said yes 

**Saihara Shuichi:** actually yes. Are you?

 **Komaeda Kinnie:** no <3

 **Saihara Shuichi:** …

**Saihara Shuichi has changed Komaeda Kinnie to Lying Brat**

**Lying Brat:** :0

**Momota Kaito has changed Momota Kaito to Space Geek**

**Space Geek:** Hah! That's an accurate name if I've ever seen one!

**Tojo Kirumi has changed Saihara Shuichi to Grounded**

**Grounded:** _rude, Mom._

 **Lying Brat:** hahahahahaha

**Lying Brat has changed Tojo Kirumi to Mommy**

**Mommy:** …

 **Space Geek:** Hah!

 **Grounded:** wait if I'm grounded shouldn't Momota-san be too?

**Mommy has changed Space Geek to Also Grounded**

**Lying Brat:** tojo-san youre the best

 **K1-B0:** why is everyone changing everyone's nickname. I don't understand?

**Lying Brat has changed K1-B0 to Toaster**

**Toaster:** How rude! This is robophobia.

 **Lying Brat:** i know <3

**Grounded has changed Lying Brat to Robophobia**

**Grounded:** :D

 **Robophobia:** >:0

 **Also Grounded:** Damn Saihara being master of the callout here.

 **Also Grounded:** Oi! What happened to my name?!

 **Grounded:** … is that… not obvious?

 **Toaster:** how do I change it?

 **Grounded:** here, let me show you.

**Toaster has changed Toaster to Kiibo**

**Kiibo:** thank you Saihara-san

**Mommy has changed Grounded to Ungrounded**

**Ungrounded:** :DDDDD

 **Also Grounded** : WHAT KIND OF FUCKERY IS THIS

**Robophobia has changed Ungrounded to Saihara > Sherlock**

**Robophobia:** there

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** thank you?

 **Also Grounded:** hahahahaha he's _blushing_.

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** _S-s-shut up I am not_

 **Amami Rantaro:** pogchamp 

**Kiibo:** what does that mean? I don't understand????

 **Also Grounded:** Not it.

 **Mommy:** I should not be the one to explain, as I also do not understand the reference.

 **Robophobia:** i could explain it :)

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** you could, but will you.

 **Kiibo:** please explain Ouma-kun?

 **Robophobia:** play of the game champ 

**Robophobia has changed Kiibo to Unpoggers**

**Unpoggers:** why.

**Saihara > Sherlock has changed Amami Rantaro to Beware the Memer**

**Saihara > Sherlock**: why am I not even a little surprised.

 **Beware the Memer:** Because it’s Ouma-kun?

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** that's true.

 **Unpoggers:** I still don't understand this reference.

 **Beware the Memer:** Don’t worry young padawan, you will learn in time.

 **Unpoggers:** I feel unsafe.

 **Robophobia:** good

 **Saihara > Sherlock: ** _why is that good_

 **Unpoggers:** ……...I second this question.

 **Robophobia:** :)

 **Iruma Miu:** THE FUCK YOU VIRGINS DOING DRAGGING ME INTO THIS SHITHOLE?

 **Shirogane Tsumugi:** You’re one to talk  
  
**Iruma Miu:** Shut up, Plain Jane Bitch

**Iruma Miu has changed Shirogane Tsumugi to Plain Jane Bitch**

**Iruma Miu has changed Iruma Miu to Goddess of Tech and Sex**

**Harukawa Maki:** Whoever added me, Do you want to die?

 **Unpoggers:** I-Iruma-san what does whether or not one has had s-s-s…. _intimate_ encounters have to do with a group chat?

 **Goddess of Tech and Sex:** Cause some idiot might see me talking with you pent up idiots and think I am one too

**Saihara > Sherlock has changed Goddess of Tech and Sex to Bitch Bottom**

**Robophobia:** awww >:( we were having fun til the whore showed up 

**Bitch Bottom:** H-Hey, the fu-fuck? Was just a j-joke

 **Robophobia:** your life is a joke :p 

**Bitch Bottom:** No way… d-don’t stop…

 **Harukawa Maki:** This is why I never hang out with any of you

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** to be fair, Harukawa-san, you've only known us for a few days??? Also I didn't expect my nickname for Iruma-san to be proven that quickly.

 **Robophobia:** ew 

**Harukawa Maki:** I didn’t need to know any of you for long to figure out I don’t fit

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Well it would help if you stopped being a Sasuke

 **Harukawa Maki:** Someone translate

 **Beware the Memer:** she says stop being a moody jackass

 **Harukawa Maki:** Noted. Now is there anything else before I leave this chat?

 **Robophobia:** if you leave ill just add you back :p :)

 **Harukawa Maki:** Bet  
  
**Harukawa Maki has left the chat**

**Robophobia has added Harukawa Maki to the chat**

**Robophobia:** rude

 **Harukawa Maki:** Do you want to die, Gremlin?

 **Robophobia:** :)

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** ten bucks says the answer is yes.

 **Harukawa Maki:** Deal, I take 50% up front

 **Also Grounded:** WHY IS MY NAME STILL THIS

 **Mommy:** I repeat the question I posed Ouma-san. What is stopping you from changing it?

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** fear of you, I would assume, Tojo-san.

**Also Grounded has changed Also Grounded to Space Geek**

**Mommy has changed Space Geek to Still Grounded**

**Robophobia:** hahahahahhhahahaha

 **Harukawa Maki:** Guess the deal is off

 **Akamatsu Kaede:** Deal? Who offered to pay for Kokichi’s death again?

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** _wait you were serious?!_

 **Harukawa Maki:** Should’ve figured you weren’t

 **Robophobia:** saihara-chan isnt that mean

 **Robophobia:** unlike some people :p

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** it… was a bet, not a contract???? 

**Akamatsu Kaede:** You guyssss, we’re supposed to be friends

 **Shinguji Korekiyo:** Yet we met but a few days prior. You expect such a bond to form in that little time?

**Beware the Memer has changed Shinguji Korekiyo to ShinGUCCI**

**ShinGUCCI:** Oho? A nickname? How intriguing that you feel such a connection to me. Shall we discuss this?

 **Beware the Memer:**...sure?

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** well if we're going that route… Ouma-san..? :))))

 **Robophobia:** yes saihara-chan question mark

 **Still Grounded:** okay that makes more sense. It seemed out of character for Saihara "I can't make eye contact with anyone" Shuichi to give _himself_ a name like that.

 **Harukawa Maki:** Surprised you noticed

 **Still Grounded:** _HEY_

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** didn't you… you were _here_ when it happened.

 **Still Grounded:** was I? I guess a detective would notice that.

 **Hoshi Ryoma:** you're… not incredibly observant, are you?

 **Unpoggers:** that seems like a safe assumption to make.

 **Still Grounded:** HEY! I'M NOT AN IDIOT!

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** No one called you one? (Yet.)

 **ShinGUCCI:** It doesn't need to be said, we’re all aware of it.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Yea, it’s just plain to see

 **Akamatsu Kaede:** That’s enough, everyone. Kaito is our friend and plenty smart

**Bitch Bottom has changed Akamatsu Kaede to Nosey Bitch**

**Nosey Bitch:** …

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** Hey!

**Saihara > Sherlock has changed Nosey Bitch to Friendship Is Magic**

**Friendship is Magic:** Awww, I love that show. Thanks, Shuichi :)

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** you're welcome.

 **Still Grounded:** _he's blushing again_

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** …..

 **Friendship is Magic:** Don't make a big deal out of nothing, Shuichi

 **ShinGUCCI:** Is it nothing when you’re blushing too?

 **Robophobia:** is this romance 

**Robophobia:** disgusting 

**Bitch Bottom:** Look what’s talking, creep

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** I… I'm not, I just. I'm still not used to people using my given name???? I'm sorry I didn't mean anything by it

 **Friendship is Magic:** Oh, I’m sorry, Saihara. I wasn’t thinking about that

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** I mean. If you _want_ to, I don't mind? It just startled me, that's all.

 **Unpoggers:** this is… surprisingly wholesome given our circumstances.

 **Hoshi Ryoma:** To be young and in love again.

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** wh-wh-what?!?! That's not- I don't- _what are you talking about you're the same age as us_

 **Friendship is Magic:** Plus we’re not in love. C’mon Ryoma, quit messing around

 **Harukawa Maki:** Seriously, Piano Girl? We all can see it

 **Unpoggers:** guys I think Saihara-san is broken? He's got his face in his hands and is… muttering? To himself?

 **Still Grounded:** well if he can't take it he shouldn't dish it out. What's he saying?

 **Unpoggers:** for the sake of his dignity I will decline to answer that.

 **Bitch Bottom:** Like Poo-ichi has any

 **ShinGUCCI:** Must you always open your foul mouth and spread such filth?

 **Robophobia:** cant believe im agreeing with the creep for once

 **ShinGUCCI:** Quiet, you gremlin, before I tear out your nerves.

 **Robophobia:** yes sir

 **Bitch Bottom:** And you call ME a bottom, you worthless virgin

 **Robophobia:** because you are a bottom useless slut

 **Bitch Bottom:** Eeek!

 **Unpoggers:** technically _Saihara-san_ changed your name, not Ouma.

 **Friendship is Magic:** Saihara! Have you been spending too much time around Kokichi lately?

 **Robophobia:** hey im a great influence 

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ….? Define "too much"

 **Robophobia:** saihara-chan and i spend all our time together <3

 **Unpoggers:** oh, he's back online, it seems.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Well that’s just plain too much time around Kokichi. What if you start telling more lies than truth, Saihara?

 **Harukawa Maki:** Not like he’s any good at lying. Never seen someone sweat so much while saying they didn’t take the last cookie

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** I _didn't_ I just didn't want to get the person who _did_ in trouble. You are very scary when you want to be, Harukawa-san.

 **Harukawa Maki:** All I did was frown

**Bitch Bottom changed Harukawa Maki to Resting Murder Bitch Face**

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Do you want to die?

 **Bitch Bottom:** EEEEK, SOrry… just a-agreeing with P-Pooichi

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** also, Shirogane-san, I thought that was a popular trope? Opposites attract or something. I suppose you might know better than I would.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Well yes, but I very rarely ship real people. Just makes my cospox tingle

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** ...I would find it slightly concerning if you did, but my point was that maybe it's not a horrible thing to spend time with people not like yourself?

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Well there’s a difference between a cat person and dog person hanging out, vs a raving vegan and a lifelong hunter spending time together

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Though I suppose if the Prince of an alien race of fighters can fall in love with a human woman whose ego is bigger than his, then anything is possible

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** that was a… Marvel Cinematic Universe reference? Or is that more from the comics?

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** That was basic Dragon Ball Z. Did you even read the list of required readings I plainly sent you all?

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** that's fair too. I was never really a fan of that franchise. Too many episodes spent screaming pointlessly.

 **Bitch Bottom:** Well you better get used to it, that's all the screaming you’ll ever hear in your room

 **Mommy:** speaking from experience, I see, Iruma-san.

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** cjdjshshddjffjs _Tojo-san you're amazing_

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Wow, that was an effective murder

 **Bitch Bottom:** F-F-Fuck you d-dumbasses… I’m gonna… gonna go make something in-incredible in my lab

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** perhaps you should start with a dildo since that seems to be the only action youre capable of getting

 **Friendship is Magic:** KOKICHI! Give Saihara his monopad back right now!

 **Hoshi Ryoma:** did he _really_ get his monopad taken or is he willingly participating?

 **Unpoggers:** they are sitting fairly close together so i suppose either is possible. ...On second thought now Saihara-san looks like he's trying to retrieve something so Akamatsu-san may in fact be correct.

 **Robophobia:** whatever could you mean kiiboy 

**Robophobia:** this is my own monopad dumbass

 **Friendship is Magic:** Saihara, try to keep a better eye on your stuff. We don't need Kokichi pretending to be you again

 **Robophobia:** haha saihara-chan said he agreed with what I texted

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** Iruma-san does seem to be projecting quite a bit.

 **ShinGUCCI:** I must agree, though it is interesting to see what society has made of her.

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** sorry Akamatsu-san. :(

 **Friendship is Magic:** Well… at least you’re more confident than when we met. Just try to remember that we’re all friends here

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** I barely know any of you and don’t really know why I was dragged into this mess. Still tempted to leave

 **Robophobia:** not allowed >:(

**Saihara > Sherlock has changed Robophobia to Secret Softy**

**Saihara > Sherlock:** I may die but I regret nothing.

 **Secret Softy:** saihara you will die by my hands

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** well it was nice knowing everyone. I'm running for my life now.

**Saihara > Sherlock is offline**

**Secret Softy is offline**

**Hoshi Ryoma:** well that happened?

 **Unpoggers:** should… should someone intervene? I would prefer to delay the start of the killing game for as long as possible.

 **Chabashira Tenko:** Leave it to me! I’ll knock some sense into those degenerates!

**Chabashira Tenko is offline**

//////////////////////

Nickname list:  
  
Hoshi Ryoma: Hoshi Ryoma  
Gokuhara Gonta: n/a  
Amami Rantaro: Beware the Memer  
Shinguji Korekiyo: ShinGUCCI  
Ouma Kokichi: Secret Softy  
Saihara Shuichi: Saihara > Sherlock  
Momota Kaito: Still Grounded  
K1-B0: Unpoggers  
Yonaga Angie: n/a  
Yumeno Himiko: n/a  
Chabashira Tenko: Chabashira Tenko  
Shirogane Tsugumi: Plain Jane Bitch  
Iruma Miu: Bitch Bottom  
Akamatsu Kaede: Friendship is Magic  
Tojo Kirumi: Mommy  
Harukawa Maki: Resting Murder Bitch Face


	2. Crushes? In our Killing Server? No way!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates won't usually be this fast, we just all decided to share the next chapter already since we already have more ready. Hope y'all enjoy
> 
> Tango: Wooooooooooooooo second chapter!!! I’m hella excited for how all this’ll go!
> 
> Multi: hahaha Chapter 2 is gonna be a *ride*, my dudes. Shuichi threatens a god :D

**Mommy:** now boys, what have we learned about trying to kill each other.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** it's a bad idea and Chabashira-san will judo throw us?

**Secret Softy:** that my ass will end up hurting more than the time I spend with saihara-chan ;)

**Unpoggers:** _we do not need to know about your intimate activities!!_ >/////<

**Saihara > Sherlock:** N-nothing sexual about it, maybe the gremlin just needs a spanking from time to time

**Hoshi Ryoma:** who would have thought the shy, quiet one was the top.

**Secret Softy:** :-)

**Saihara > Sherlock:** Kokichi that's _not helpful_.

**Still Grounded:** since when are you two on first name terms.

**Still Grounded:** uuugggh

**Still Grounded has changed Still Grounded to Space Case**

**Secret Softy:** whaddya mean 

**Secret Softy:** shuichi and i have always been on first name terms 

**Space Case:** then why'd his face light up like a cherry the second someone pointed out what he called you.

**Unpoggers:** I feel the need to point out you _did_ threaten to kill him not too long ago.

**Secret Softy:** oh that was a lie 

**Unpoggers:** somehow I don't actually believe that. Considering that he was still running from you when Chabashira-san found you both.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ….

**Secret Softy:** what can i say im a convincing actor

**Secret Softy:** id never actually kill my favorite

**Saihara > Sherlock:** if you're not careful you might just kill my heart, especially now that you've stolen it ;)

**Secret Softy:** excuse me one moment 

**Beware the Memer:** WHO THE FUCK IS YELLING IN THE COURTYARD

**Beware the Memer:** oh… carry on then 

**Yonaga Angie:** Atua will punish whoever is making that awful noise!

**Saihara > Sherlock:** _let's find out if it's possible to kill a god_. Feel free to pass on the warning, Yonaga-san.

**Yonaga Angie** : ...Atua will keep that in mind.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** :))))))

**Hoshi Ryoma:** ….I don't think I've ever seen anyone lose color in their face that fast before.

**Unpoggers:** …. Saihara-san is actually terrifying when angry, duly noted.

**Secret Softy:** wow shuichi protecting me from a god

**Secret Softy:** youre so cool :D

**Space Case:** wait but aren't you and Akamatsu a thing? Where did this come from?

**Saihara > Sherlock:** I still don't understand where that came from. We're _friends_.

**Space Case:** yeah, friends who act like a couple and practically refused to separate the first few days here.

**Space Case:** At least until the gremlin happened. Is he blackmailing you?

**Secret Softy:** hey who you calling gremlin mr galaxy brain

**Secret Softy:** and as for if im blackmailing shuichi 

**Secret Softy:** welllllllll :)

**Space Case:** You. I'm calling _you_ a gremlin.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** pretty sure he means you.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** …...also _why is your first thought blackmail_? I'm perfectly capable of choosing who to hang out with.

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Then how come the people you spend the most time with are the ones that forced themselves on you?

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Don’t you spend all your time with Kaito?

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** No, he just follows me like a dumb lost dog

**Space Case:** _ouch_ , Harukawa. That cut me deep.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ….is she _wrong_ , though?

**Space Case:** jeez what is this, pick on Kaito time?

**Saihara > Sherlock:** weren't _you_ the one who said don't dish it if you can't take it

**Bitch Bottom:** Like he could take anything bigger than a pencil

**Secret Softy:** haha suck it momoron 

**Yumeno Himiko:** Nyehhh, why is this chat going so fast… it’s too much work keeping up

**Space Case:** WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO PUT A PENCIL UP THERE

**Bitch Bottom:** Cause Pooichi here is too busy simping for Kaidiot and Kockichi to give you any attention

**Saihara > Sherlock:** _what_.

**Secret Softy:** iruma

**Secret Softy:** i will give you this 

**Secret Softy has changed Secret Softy to Cockitchy**

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ….I'm just gonna go hang out with Kiibo. You do whatever this is.

**Hoshi Ryoma:** ...I'd be distancing myself too if my boyfriend gave himself a name like that.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** we aren't dating.

**Cockitchy:** shuichi dont leaveeee I can change it ;-;

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Yea right,

**Saihara > Sherlock:** by that logic you must be dating Momota-san, then, right Harukawa-san?

**Unpoggers:** Harukawa-san and Momota-san are _dating_?!

**Saihara > Sherlock:** _-This message has been deleted-_

**Space Case:** wh-? Dating? Us? I mean, Harukawa _is_ pretty cute hahaha

**Chabashira Tenko:** Ouma change? Hah, I bet he would wear the same underwear for weeks if Kirumi didn’t handle everyone’s laundry daily

**Cockitchy:** hey exclamation mark ill have you know i shower and change daily

**Yumeno Himiko:** That’s too much energy…. I take weekly baths to clean off

**Plain Jane Bitch:** That… 

**Chabashira Tenko:** Yumeno-chan! You should take better care of yourself!

**Yumeno Himiko:** What a pain…

**Plain Jane Bitch:** I’m sure Chabashira would be willing to help

**Chabashira Tenko:** Of course!

**Bitch Bottom:** Well you sure were eager to get your hands on Small Stacks there

**Chabashira Tenko:** !! It’s nothing impure!! I just merely want to help a friend!

**Yumeno Himiko:** Whatever, go ahead. I’ll leave my door unlocked for you

**ShinGUCCI:** Kehehehe, what a beautiful friendship we get to witness here.

**Bitch Bottom:** Greaaat, now the kinky rope dude is here to creep on us

**ShinGUCCI:** I see you know of my skills. I wonder if perhaps you’re looking for a demonstration.

**Bitch Bottom:** W-Whaa... I mean, of c-course not. I could t-tie you up, pretty boy… though a refresher might be ni-nice

**Beware the Memer:** oh to see without eyes 

**Beware the Memer:** I have the brain bleach, who else needs it

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Me

**Yumeno Himiko:** Please

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Thats just plain wrong

**Beware the Memer:** Harukawa-san, Yumeno-san, there’s cat pics outside my dorm 

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Thank you

**Yumeno Himiko:** Tenko, could you grab that for me?

**Chabashira Tenko:** Gotcha!

**Yumeno Himiko:** I would use my magic, but I spent all my mana on a big spell

**Chabashira Tenko:** Understood! Gah! Yumeno-chan is so cool!

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Save it for your diary, Chabashira

**Saihara > Sherlock:** I regret scrolling up to see what I missed.

**Unpoggers:** ...I'm not sure if I want to ask to watch or purge my memory bank.

**Cockitchy:** kiiboy wanting to watch wow who knew you were such a dirty roomba 

**Unpoggers:** I didn't realize ropes could be used that way until I searched it. That's interesting.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** _interesting_ is not quite the word I would choose, but to each their own I suppose.

**ShinGUCCI:** Well, the lewd annoyance won’t be bothering us for some time.

**Cockitchy:** o.o

**Unpoggers:** she's not dead. Observation is good for something.

**ShinGUCCI:** Of course she isn’t dead. I wouldn’t dirty my hands with her blood. I merely gave her what she asked for.

**Space Case:** going by her reactions to just being called out in text form, I wouldn't rule out dying just yet. Who knows if her heart can handle something that kinky.

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Indeed, it isn’t hard to cause a heart attack

**Space Case:** I don't know how you know this but I'm fairly sure I also don't want to know, Harukawa.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** it really isn't that difficult. Though I don't think being tied up will do it unless circulation is cut off.

**ShinGUCCI:** Worry not, there might be marks afterwards but she has full circulation still.

**Unpoggers has changed Unpoggers to Traumatized**

**Traumatized:** I was unaware human vocal chords could make that sort of sound and I regret learning otherwise.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** …..I don't want to know.

**Mommy:** …...I do not blame you for being uncomfortable, Kiibo.

**Saihara > Sherlock has changed Traumatized to Traumatized Roomba**

**Traumatized Roomba:** _you too Saihara-san?!_

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** If you want, I can silence her

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Um… maybe we should not kill her

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** I wasn’t going to kill her, just shove a rag in her mouth… or clench her vocal chords

**Hoshi Ryoma:** not to be Captain Obvious but I think messing with her vocal chords is _probably_ toeing the murder line.

**Traumatized Roomba:** I would have to agree.

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Whatever, too much work anyways

**Friendship is Magic:** EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP! I FOUND A PIANO!

**Saihara > Sherlock:** you did?

**Hoshi Ryoma:** you _are_ the Ultimate Pianist. It would make sense that there's a piano in a school apparently built for us _somewhere_.

**Friendship is Magic:** Yea, but I had to break into one of the locked rooms to get to it

**Saihara > Sherlock:** does that mean there's a room somewhere in the school for each of us then? I wonder what mine might look like…

**Friendship is Magic:** Well mine had a beautiful grand piano on a small stage and a wall covered in classical CDs…. it’s heaven on Earth

**Beware the Memer:** Hey Akamatsu-san do you know how to play the Flea Waltz 

**Friendship is Magic:** Bitch please, I can play that in my sleep with my toes

**Beware the Memer:** just wondering

**Friendship is Magic:** So yea, if I disappear for a few days straight, I’m just in my research lab

**Mommy:** as long as you sleep and do not skip meals, I cannot protest too much.

**Friendship is Magic:** Sleep I can promise

**ShinGUCCI:** Well, I can admire such dedication to your craft. I must admit I too have found myself lost in the mysteries of humanity for weeks on end with barely a wink of sleep or sip of water.

**Mommy:** I can either bring you meals or drag you to the dining hall. Your choice Akamatsu-san.

**Friendship is Magic:** I mean… I wouldn’t protest the second option

**Saihara > Sherlock:** guys is it just me or is Kokichi being unusually silent.

**Cockitchy:** awww was shuichi worried about little ol me

**Space Case:** I was enjoying the silence, personally.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ...what if I was?

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Seriously? You MISSED the gremlin?

**Cockitchy:** oh ouch those insults dig deep momota-kun harukawa-san 

**Cockitchy:** i was just out exploring nehehe you could join me next time if you want shuichi 

**Saihara > Sherlock:** yes I did. I mean considering you all think he's my boyfriend I'm surprised that anyone thought I wouldn't.

**Space Case:** so you admit it.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** admit what? And exploring sounds like fun :)

**Friendship is Magic:** Well I guess it’s good I found the piano. That way you can explore with Kokichi

**Plain Jane Bitch:** You seem oddly ok with this for someone who has a crush on Saihara

**Friendship is Magic:** Crush??? PShhh, I don’t have a crush on Shuichi, I’m happy for him

**Saihara > Sherlock:** A crush? On me? ….I doubt it. I've seen Akamatsu-san with a crush and it is definitely _not_ on me.

**Friendship is Magic:** When did you see that?

**Saihara > Sherlock:** oh, when we were meeting everyone. :D you aren't exactly subtle Akamatsu-san.

**Friendship is Magic:** IS THIS ABOUT TSUMUGI’S SKIRT??? I ALREADY SAID I WAS SORRY!

**Cockitchy:** romance on my christian minecraft server is not allowed >:(

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ….no it wasn't but thanks for saying that so I didn't have to.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** oh well, I guess no cuddles for Kokichi then.

**Cockitchy:** wait no fuck i didnt mean it like thatttt

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Suffer

**Saihara > Sherlock:** :)))))))))

**Saihara > Sherlock:** but no it wasn't with Shirogane-san, Akamatsu-san. Correct gender though.

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Did she lift someone else’s skirt? You’re lucky there’s no cops to arrest you, Akamatsu

**Space Case:** ….I expected sputtering denials at this point. Maybe the detective is onto something?

**Friendship is Magic:** Of course I didn’t lift another skirt. That was a dumb move on my part to get Tsumugi to react and I apologized. But I can’t deny Saihara’s accusations since I don’t know who he’s even talking about 

**Saihara > Sherlock:** mmhmm. I totally believe that.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ...wait, did you _not notice_ how bright red you turned when we met them? _How?!_

**Friendship is Magic:** I know I got red in the face meeting Kokichi cause he was such an annoying pain

**Cockitchy:** rude 

**Saihara > Sherlock:** not what I meant but okay.

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Just put Akamatsu out of her misery and say her crush already

**Saihara > Sherlock:** I suppose it's possible I misinterpreted what I saw.

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Look, you said it was a girl, Tsumugi and I are already removed from the list of possibilities, that leaves five other girls. Which of them did you see her blush at?

**Mommy:** I don't think it was me.

**Yumeno Himiko:** I don’t remember her blushing meeting me, and I have magical memory

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ……

**Friendship is Magic:** It.. It must’ve been Iruma. She says all those weird things that would make anyone blush

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ...that would explain it, then.

**Yumeno Himiko:** Tell us or I’ll turn you into a frog

**Chabashira Tenko:** Yumeno-chan don’t waste your mana doing that!

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ….I almost expected to be threatened for being a "degenerate male threatening to reveal a girl's secrets" when I saw Chabashira-san typing.

**Chabashira Tenko:** You are a degenerate male threatening a girl! But I also can’t lie and say I’m not curious as to who Akamatsu-chan has a crush on…

**Friendship is Magic:** WHELP, I’m just going to lock myself in my lab and never come out

**ShinGUCCI:** You forget, we are already aware you broke into your lab. Therefore we can likely just walk in and drag you away to be questioned further.

**Chabashira Tenko:** Hey! That’s going too far! 

**Chabashira Tenko:** Oh! And Akamatsu-chan if you are going to play can I hear it sometime!?

**Friendship is Magic:** Oh I’d love to play for you! Just come by my lab sometime and I’ll play whatever you like

**Chabashira Tenko:** Thank you! :D

**Saihara > Sherlock:** ……

**Friendship is Magic:** I mean… I’d enjoy playing for anyone here. Just got a little excited to have an audience

**ShinGUCCI:** No one questioned that, Akamatsu.

**Traumatized Roomba:** I think I might know to whom Saihara-san was referring. I don't understand why you refuse to say, however.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** I miscalculated the amount of interest. I only meant to tease Akamatsu-san, not back her into a corner. I'm sorry.

**Friendship is Magic:** No.. It’s ok, Saihara. I’m glad you’re feeling more confident in your deductions. I’ll just be in my room screaming into my pillow  
  
**Friendship is Magic is offline**

**ShinGUCCI:** For a pianist, she has an impressive set of lungs there.

**Hoshi Ryoma:** so she _doesn't_ have a crush on Saihara or is he just too dense to realize she actually _does_?

**Space Case:** yes.

**Saihara > Sherlock:** wh- what do you mean there's no way she has a crush on _me_. Is there?

**Cockitchy:** sorry shuichi but you can be a little dense :p

**Saihara > Sherlock:** I-

**Saihara > Sherlock:** I'm an idiot.

**Saihara > Sherlock is offline**

**ShinGUCCI:** Well this has been an intriguing look into high school crushes. I thank you all for bringing me this information.

**Plain Jane Bitch:** So… is anyone going to untie Iruma or are we just leaving her like that with Korekiyo?

**Traumatized Roomba:** she sounds like she's enjoying herself. I say we let her be.

**Cockitchy:** just leave the whore be for now 

**Cockitchy:** or even better we can just keep her there forever so we dont have to see her nasty face

**ShinGUCCI:** Then I assume you are volunteering to help remove Iruma from my room and returning her to her own?

**Traumatized Roomba:** .. reading back, I realized that Harukawa-san and Momota-san never _denied_ that they were dating.

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Do you want to die, scrapbucket?

**Traumatized Roomba:** still not technically a denial. Also suspicious.

**Space Case:** I mean. I wouldn't say _no_ to dating her but no, we aren't currently.

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Trust me, if you actually bothered to know me, you’d take that back

**Space Case:** try me.

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Huh?

**Space Case:** I don't believe that, so I want to prove you wrong. Granted there's not a whole lot we can do date wise but uh. There's always stargazing? That's romantic, right?

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** What’s the point of just staring at some specks in the sky?

**Space Case:** alright now we _have_ to go stargazing. Stars are so much more than "some specks in the sky"! 

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Fine, whatever. If it’ll get you off my back

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Oh! This is the part where the cold and closed off character reluctantly spends time with the outgoing character and finds something to smile about

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Shut it, background character 

**Space Case:** :DDDDDDDDD

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** I’m already regretting this…

**//////Chapter Two End\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

  
Character Nicknames  
Saihara Shuichi: Saihara > Sherlock  
Akamatsu Kaede: Friendship is Magic  
Ouma Kokichi: Cockitchy  
K1-B0: Traumatized Roomba  
Gokuhara Gonta: n/a  
Harukawa Maki: Resting Murder Bitch Face  
Momota Kaito: Space Case  
Amami Rantaro: Beware the Memer  
Tojo Kirumi: Mommy  
Shinguji Korekiyo: ShinGUCCI  
Yonaga Angie: Yonaga Angie  
Yumeno Himiko: Yumeno Himiko  
Chabashira Tenko: Chabashira Tenko  
Hoshi Ryoma: Hoshi Ryoma  
Iruma Miu: Bitch Bottom  
Shirogane Tsumugi: Plain Jane Bitch


	3. Why Do These Children Fight So Much?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tango here with the third update!! Welcome to the beginning of what I fondly call DM Hell, I wish I was kidding when I say some chapters have p a g e s of private messages. We have a bit too much fun with those lol. Thank you all for reading and of course, enjoy!
> 
> Firestar: Don't worry about the shorter chapter. The next chapter makes up for it. As for the DMs, we have markers for where in the story they happen and you can either scroll down to read them as they happen or wait till you get to the end and see the shenanigans afterwards

**Saihara > Sherlock:** so. Uhm. I was correct in calling myself an idiot before.

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** but Akamatsu-san and I talked and… well…

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** iaskedheroutandshesaidyes

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** in case anyone wanted to know how that ended.

 **Cockitchy:** congrats :)

 **Hoshi Ryoma:** well look at that. The hopeless detective _isn't_ entirely hopeless after all.

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** >///////////<

 **Beware the Memer:** congratulations my dude

 **Beware the Memer:** Also it’s been three chapters and some people still don’t have names, I’m fixing this 

**Beware the Memer has changed Hoshi Ryoma to YMCA Tennis**

**Beware the Memer has changed Chabashira Tenko to Men? I don’t think so**

**Beware the Memer has changed Yonaga Angie to Praise Christ**

**Beware the Memer has changed Yumeno Himiko to Like Nyeh~**

**Like Nyeh~:** Nyehhh, don’t change my name like that

**Beware the Memer has changed Gokuhara Gonta to MothMan**

**MothMan:** Chapters?

 **Beware the Memer:** don’t worry about it

 **ShinGUCCI:** You say such unusual things, even for me.

 **Beware the Memer:** I don’t know what you’re talking about :)

 **Men? I don’t think so:** This name change is...acceptable 

**Friendship is Magic:** I still think you need to work on being more accepting of men

 **ShinGUCCI:** Like you did last night?

 **Friendship is Magic:** Shush, I’m just trying to keep her from slamming every guy she sees into the ground

 **Men? I don’t think so:** You degenerates should be thankful to Akamatsu-chan!

 **ShinGUCCI:** Perhaps I was looking forward to one of your throws~

 **Bitch Bottom:** Geez, you fuckin masochist…

 **Men? I don’t think so:** Shinguji i'm never touching you again...disgusting degenerate

 **ShinGUCCI:** You wound me, Chibashira…

 **ShinGUCCI:** Also, could you explain just how you escaped, Iruma?  
  
 **Bitch Bottom:** Nope

 **YMCA Tennis** : _really_? This is what you went with.

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** …..on the list of 'things I would be happier not knowing'. Shinguji-san's masochism kink.

 **Beware the Memer:** look...I’m not that creative ok

 **YMCA Tennis has changed Beware the Memer to Mashed Avocado** **(DM 1)**

 **Traumatized Roomba:** is that… meant as a threat?

 **YMCA Tennis:** who can say.

 **Friendship is Magic:** Anyone who mashes my green friend must pay

 **Mashed Avocado:** ….I’m scared-

 **ShinGUCCI:** Even if it’s you?

 **Friendship is Magic:** I would NEVER hurt him

 **Mashed Avocado:** Also who calls it mashed avocado give me at least some class 

**Mashed Avocado has changed Mashed Avocado to Guacamole**

**Guacamole:** better

 **YMCA Tennis:** maybe I want that. :/

**Guacamole has changed YMCA Tennis to All Depresso No Espresso**

**Guacamole:** :p

 **All Depresso No Espresso:** ……..

 **All Depresso No Espresso:** ... you are forgiven for the YMCA comparison.

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** Kaede…. Is there something I should know?

 **Space Case:** yo, Saihara! Congrats, man! Maybe we should do a double date or something? You and piano girl, me n' Harukawa!

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Were you planning on talking to me about this or just dragging me along like usual?

 **Cockitchy:** hey why dont we make it a triple date 

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** And who in their right mind would date you?

 **Space Case:** of course I was gonna talk to ya, Harumaki. Just offerin' a suggestion!

 **Space Case:** who knows, now that Saihara's found some standards, maybe Iruma'll be desperate enough to be your date.

 **Cockitchy:** ew no i was just gonna bring my right hand lmao

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** @Friendship is Magic (✿◕‿◕)

 **Friendship is Magic:** Aww that's cute

 **Guacamole:** I feel like I’m about to witness a fight

 **Bitch Bottom:** We’re in for a cock fight

 **ShinGUCCI:** Silence your foul words before I tear out your tongue

 **Bitch Bottom:** EEEEEK, s-sorry

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** that was uncalled for and rude, Momota. I feel sorry for Harukawa-san having to put up with you forcing your company on her.

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Do you want to die?

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** not particularly, I _do_ want to kick a certain idiot in the groin, however.

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** …

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Fine, whatever. Maybe he’ll learn something

 **Space Case:** _OI!_

 **Traumatized Roomba:** I repeat my earlier sentiment of Saihara-san being mildly terrifying.

 **Friendship is Magic:** Hey, no. We’re not beating each other up. Settle this calmly or I wi ll…. do something…

 **Cockitchy:** _-This message has been deleted-_

 **Space Case:** Hey! If you wanna fight, let's fight! I'll gladly take on your challenge. (Not sure why you'd want to over _that_ , but y'know)

 **Saihara > Sherlock:** …..I'll give you a five second head start.

**Saihara > Sherlock is offline**

**Resting Murder Bitch Face:** I’ll arrange your funeral

 **Space Case:** wh-? _Oh shit-_

**Space Case is offline**

**Friendship is Magic:** Why do I like that boy…

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** I ask myself that constantly...

 **Cockitchy:** i got the popcorn :)

 **Traumatized Roomba:** @Mommy @Men? I don't think so one of you help?

 **Mommy:** ……..

 **Men? I don’t think so:** I’m on it!

**Men? I don’t think so is offline**

**Mommy is offline**

**All Depresso No Espresso:** this should be good. Pass that popcorn, Ouma.

 **Bitch Bottom:** I got the cameras rolling, will sell recordings later

 **Cockitchy:** heres the bowl hoshi

 **Cockitchy:** iruma you better give me one of those later

 **Bitch Bottom:** It’ll fuckin cost you, gremlin

 **All Depresso No Espresso:** alright who's taking bets?

 **Friendship is Magic:** Hey! Those are me and Harukawa’s boyfriends. Be nice

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** My money’s on Saihara

 **All Depresso No Espresso:** fifty on the emo to win.

 **ShinGUCCI:** I am not a gambler

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** I think Kaito can pin Saihara down, maybe take him to Suplex City

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Ok, who the hell got Plain Jane into wrestling?

 **Cockitchy:** haha fucking nerd

 **All Depresso No Espresso:** nah, emos like him fight _dirty_. Momota doesn't stand a chance.

 **Cockitchy:** put 200 for shuichi for me uwu 

**Traumatized Roomba:** ….I bet on Chabashira-san and Tojo-san.

 **Friendship is Magic:** Can’t argue with that, Keebo… 300 on Chabashira

 **ShinGUCCI:** Hm, an interesting choice. Is there another reason you chose her, Akamatsu?

 **Friendship is Magic:** NO! I just think she’s a great fighter

 **Traumatized Roomba:** ... perhaps Saihara-san was correct about Akamatsu-san's crush?

 **Friendship is Magic:** I will hide your charging cable

 **All Depresso No Espresso:** sounds like a desperate denial to me.

 **Friendship is Magic:** Do you want me to throw tennis balls at your door all night?

 **Bitch Bottom:** Bit of a ball handler, huh?

 **Friendship is Magic:** Shut up  
  
 **Bitch Bottom:** Y-Yes, Ma’am

 **Cockitchy:** haha what a bottom a pretty girl says one thing and youre drooling iruma god what a slut

**Saihara > Sherlock has changed Saihara > Sherlock to Kicked Momota's Ass**

**Kicked Momota's Ass:** he went down a lot faster than I expected.

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Surprised he lasted that long

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** might have gone longer if _someone_ hadn't sicced Ms. Master-Of-Judo-Throws on us

 **Traumatized Roomba:** …...I'm not sorry.

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** oh I'm not either, especially since she threw him when he was already bent over double in pain. Totally worth it.

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Well, I’ll go check on him. Don’t do anything too stupid while I’m gone

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** also had to dissuade her from kicking him in the balls _herself_ . _(Edited message)_

**Resting Murder Bitch Face is offline**

**Kicked Momota's Ass:** I'm actually glad she went offline before reading that.

 **Friendship is Magic:** Maybe I should tell her, Saihara

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** _oh fuck_.

**Bitch Bottom has changed Friendship is Magic to Scary Piano Girl**

**Kicked Momota's Ass:** In my defense, do you _really_ think Chabashira-san would listen to a "degenerate male"? I had to say _something_.

 **Scary Piano Lady:** She’s plenty reasonable

 **All Depresso No Espresso:** yeah if you happen to be female. She's already thrown Saihara once when he was supposedly running for his life.

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** she got me again this time too. I honestly think the only thing that saved me was that she wanted to beat up on Momota more than me.

 **Men? I don’t think so:** Saihara you are...acceptable I guess. Momota is a complete degenerate though!

 **Scary Piano Lady:** Chabashira, behave

 **Men? I don’t think so:** ….fine

 **Scary Piano Lady:** Thanks :)

 **Bitch Bottom:** Fuckin gay as shit

 **Scary Piano Lady:** …

 **Bitch Bottom:** Shutting up again

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** why thank you. :D

**Kicked Momota's Ass has changed Men? I don't think so to Master of Judo Throws**

**Kicked Momota's Ass:** where did you learn to _do_ that? I'm honestly surprised I can _walk_ right now.

 **Cockitchy:** come to my room and we can make sure you cant walk shuichi( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Master of Judo Throws:** My master and I came up with everything I know!

 **Master of Judo Throws:** ...Ouma you disgust me

 **Scary Piano Lady:** I’ll look away, Chabashira

 **Master of Judo Throws:** :) 

**Master of Judo Throws is offline**

**Cockitchy:** huh

 **Cockitchy:** does anyone hear that 

**Guacamole:** run

 **Cockitchy:** _OH FUCK_

**Cockitchy is offline**

**Kicked Momota's Ass:** …..

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** ….. I had a thought, but I'm going to not say it because I want to live.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Huh, who knew Akamatsu had this side to her?

 **All Depresso No Espresso:** is it a comment on how attractive your girlfriend is when she's avoiding being a witness?

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** _maybe_

 **Scary Piano Lady:** I don’t know what you’re talking about

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** if you say so dear.

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Well, Kaito will recover physically. Can’t make any promises about his ego…

 **Space Case:** that was… a dirty trick… Saihara.

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** and?

 **Scary Piano Lady:** You ok, Momota?

 **Cockitchy:** shuichi please help me hide im in a vent shes chasing meeeeee

 **Master of Judo Throws:** that’s where you are :)

 **Cockitchy:** shit

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** _perish_ **(DM 2)**

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** just submit to being thrown and get it over with.

 **Traumatized Roomba:** ...seems harsh considering you fought Momota-san over him.

 **Traumatized Roomba:** also, what dirty trick.

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** :))))))) two words: crotch shot.

 **Resting Murder Bitch Face:** Not bad, though there are better ways to take him down

 **Master of Judo Throws:** I lost the little rat 

**Scary Piano Lady:** Oh well, he can’t hide forever

 **All Depresso No Espresso** : this is why I said emo kids fight dirty.

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** _better ways_? …..are you taking students by any chance, Harukawa-san?

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** …..I'm not emo.

 **All Depresso No Espresso:** says the kid with eye contact issues that wears all black.

 **Kicked Momota's Ass:** I didn't c _hoose_ this color scheme.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (Between Rantaro's name changes)

 _Amami Rantaro_ **:** Ah, so you too know the ways of seeing past the fourth wall  
 _Shinguji Korekiyo_ **:** I see past the barriers of this world  
 _Amami Rantaro:_ Lit

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 2 (Shortly after Shuichi sends ' _perish_ ')

 _Saihara Shuichi:_ left my dorm unlocked accidentally today. Hide in there and lock it behind you.  
 _Ouma Kokichi:_ you my good sir are a god  
 _Ouma Kokichi:_ i will repay you my thanks in gold <3  
 _Saihara Shuichi:_ I'll also take payment in cuddles but whatever works :p  
 _Ouma Kokichi:_ ( *’ω’* )

////////////////

Name List:

Saihara Shuichi: Kicked Momota’s Ass  
Akamatsu Kaede: Scary Piano Lady  
Ouma Kokichi: Cockitchy   
Momota Kaito: Space Case  
Harukawa Maki: Resting Murder Bitch Face  
Hoshi Ryoma: All Depresso No Espresso  
Shinguji Korekiyo: ShinGUCCI  
K1-B0: Traumatized Roomba  
Shirogane Tsumugi: Plain Jane Bitch  
Chabashira Tenko: Master of Judo Throws  
Yumeno Himiko: Like Nyeh~  
Gokuhara Gonta: Mothman  
Yonaga Angie: Praise Christ  
Tojo Kirumi: Mommy  
Amami Rantaro: Guacamole  
Iruma Miu: Bitch Bottom


	4. Motive Time, Suckers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire: Told you we’d make up for last chapter being short. Enjoy  
> Tango: I don’t care how annoying monokuma is in the game that fucker is fun to write lmao, lmao this chapter was fun. We hope you enjoy!!! (*^ω^*)  
> Multi: This chapter was hilarious to write! See if you can guess the names before they're revealed!

**Monokuma has added Monokuma to the chat**

**Monokuma has changed 16 names**

**Monokuma** : pupupupupu

 **Does TikTok Dances for Fun:** _what the fuck_. Who let the psycho bear in?!

 **Knows The Entire Gangnam Style Dance:** indeed. Someone please explain.

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** …….

 **Knows The Entire Gangnam Style Dance:** what is the meaning of this, Monokuma.

 **Monokuma:** You all are unbearably polite and friendly so I wanted to play a little game!

 **Snorts Koolaid on the Regular:** What divine punishment has been brought upon us?

 **Snorts Koolaid on the Regular: ...** that bear will pay.

 **Needs A Hug 24/7:** …….what is this "game"

 **Needs A Hug 24/7:** …..not cool

 **Afraid Of Heights:** _why is that thing in here_.

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** that's what we'd all like to know.

 **Afraid Of Heights:** …………….

 **Cries at Cute Animal Videos:** Just ignore that thing, nothing good ever happens when we listen to it

 **Cries at Cute Animal Videos:** …

**Cries at Cute Animal Videos is offline**

**Kicks Ass in Smash:** Ok then?

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** My brand is being ruined 

**Closet Furry UwU:** Someone change my name for me. It’s too much of a pain to do it myself 

**Daddy Issues are the New Cool:** Sure thing!

 **Daddy Issues are the New Cool:** ….my name is um...something

**Daddy Issues Are The New Cool has changed Closet Furry UwU to Small Magical Girl**

**Has A Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Well that was an easy one to figure out. How will the rest of us fair?

 **Small Magical Girl:** Stop it, Tsumugi. Or else I’ll turn you into a ferret with my magic

 **Has A Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** I am not Tsumugi.

 **Needs A Hug 24/7:** I'm _guessing_ that the point of this "game" is to figure out who's who?

 **Monokuma:** Ding Ding Ding! This is also the new motive! If you can figure out someone’s name, you get their motive video! Congratulations to the one who figured out Yumeno Himiko’s!

 **Daddy Issues are the New Cool:** Wait what?

 **Daddy Issues are the New Cool:** Sorry Yumeno-chan I didn’t know this is what would happen!

 **Small Magical Girl:** Its fine, hiding is too much work.

 **Dreamed of Being a Supermodel:** Wow, you really are committed to your low energy lifestyle

 **Kicks Ass in Smash:** Also what is with these weird names? Why not just numbering or gibberish?

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** and what happens if we change our own names and give ourselves up?

 **Monokuma:** Hmm, good point

**16 Members Have Lost Nickname Permissions**

**Monokuma:** Also, these names aren’t just random words. They’re the most unlikely true fact about each person.

 **Has A Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** How curious.

 **100% Touch Starved:** well this is just rude :p

 **Actually a Top:** The fuck are you complaining about, virgin?

 **Kicks Ass in Smash:** Hello to you too, Iruma…

 **Actually a Top:** Um… no, I’m not that bitch. I’m absolutely someone else

 **100% Touch Starved:** surreeeee you are 

**32 Terabytes of Memes:** Saihara I can _see_ you twitching. Just how many have you already figured out?

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** Oh. He yelled back his answer. That didn’t work out like I thought.

 **Small Magical Girl:** You’ll get him next time, Amami

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** Oh. I’m not Amami.

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** ….Terabytes??? I don’t know who you are, but when I do, I want to see _all of them_

**Dreamed of Being a Supermodel:** There’s Amami. Our False Avocado King

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** Shit

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** Yeah lol it’s me, I’m a disgrace :(

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** Well I see a matching set of names but I don’t think it’s either of our couples.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** What makes you say that?

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** Because I think I know who Harukawa is and the typing style of both of the matching pair doesn’t fit Akamatsu.

 **Has A Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Well that’s a shame, Kokichi

 **100% Touch Starved:** ew why would i type like that

 **100% Touch Starved:** punctuation and capitalization question mark disgusting 

**Has A Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Wait, there is another among us who uses that garbage pile of an application?

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** ...took me a second to realize you _weren’t_ talking about Instagram.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** @100% Touch Starved Way to out yourself, Kokichi

 **100% Touch Starved:** ha you got me :D 

**100% Touch Starved:** i had to clear my name of such disgusting things like proper grammar 

**Has A Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Enough of your flirting, may we get back to outing the other Tik Tok Trash?

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** Sure thing Korekiyo

 **Afraid of Heights:** Wait _Korekiyo_ is the professional cosplayer?

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** Well they already denied being Tsumugi, who was the obvious choice. After that the typing style gave it away.

 **Has A Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Yes yes, I have a side project of cosplay. Now use your talent to figure out the trash, Saihara.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** Damn, was I that obvious? Alright then.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** According to Monokuma, the names are things we would least expect to be true, right? The last person _I’d_ expect on Tiktok…. Hoshi-san or Tojo-san

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** And if I said those were both wrong?

 **Kicks Ass in Smash:** Maybe Harukawa?

 **Kicks Ass in Smash:**...ok, I feel like she’s glaring at me… not Maki not Maki

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** No, because whoever it is said they _knew_ who Harukawa-san was. Unless she’s pretending not to be herself but that’s also a possibility for Hoshi-san and Tojo-san

 **Afraid of Heights:** Okay so who is it, then?

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** You’re literally just guessing at this point.

 **100% Touch Starved:** yeah but shuichis guesses are usually right :)

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** Why thank you Kokichi. <3

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** Somehow, I doubt it is Harukawa-san, though. Which leaves Tojo-san and Hoshi-san

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** It’s interesting to me that Ouma and Saihara have matching names when Saihara and Akamatsu are the couple.

 **100% Touch Starved:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **100% Touch Starved:** also youre redirecting the convo you aint sneaky

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Then we just need to reveal everyone else.

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** I would like to start this by saying anyone wishing to go into space is an idiot.

 **Afraid of Heights:** I’M NOT AN IDIOT

 **Afraid of Heights:** _That was a dirty trick you bastard_

 **100% Touch Starved:** you say it was dirty and yet you still fell for it momoron 

**Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** I don’t care, Kaito. Next is Chabashira and her Daddy Issues.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** @32 Terabytes of Memes is Kiibo. @Snorts Koolaid on the Regular is Yonaga. ...have to say that one’s not really surprising?

 **Snorts Koolaid on the Regular:** It helps me see Atua?

 **Actually a Top:** Whatever, you kooky bitch

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** since she’s my girlfriend I want to give Kaede a chance to out herself and get her own video. Though I do know which one she is.

 **Kicks Ass at Smash:** Why does everyone say Smash Bros is hard? Just press the buttons like you’re playing a quick waltz

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** ...not touching that. I choose life.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** So the ones we don’t know are Harukawa, Hoshi, Tojo, Gokuhara and…..

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** Shirogane.

 **Needs hugs 24/7:** Yes.

 **100% Touch Starved:** @Arachnophobia is gokuhara if thats how the game is played

 **Arachnophobia:** Gonta likes bugs! Not...spiders 

**Needs Hugs 24/7:** I don’t understand how the Ultimate Entomologist not liking spiders is _surprising_? Sounds like someone ran out of creative ideas. SAfbkdjgbfthlhltjy;

 **Daddy Issues are the New Cool:** Did monokuma kill Saihara for insulting him?

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** i stole the emos monopad hehehe :)

 **Afraid of Heights:** oh so that’s why he’s yelling at the menace.

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** So… who are the other four? @Does TikTok Dances For Fun @Knows the Entire Gangnam Style Dance @Dreamed of Being a Supermodel @Cries at Cute Animal Videos  
  
 **32 Terabytes of Memes** : Three of those names can be taken as being severely damaging to the pride of the person they belong to, depending on who’s who.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** haha fucker had a note on his monopad of his guesses so @Cries at Cute Animals Videos is probably harukawa because shes a big meanie and oh shit he grabbed my legkfkdkdkddkslsll

 **100% Touch Starved:** he took his monopad back ;-;

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** you’re lucky I only grabbed your leg you little shit

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** _kinky_ ~

 **100% Touch Starved:** you know it :)

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** _that’s it, you asked for it_.

 **Afraid of Heights:** not that I’m worried about the nuisance but I don’t see what sort of punishment sitting on him is.

 **100% Touch Starved:** i dont see it as a punishment at all ;)

 **Afraid of Heights:** Of course you don’t.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** Kokichi. Enough. Please?

 **100% Touch Starved:** finneeeeee 

**100% Touch Starved:** lets finish the guessing game im getting bored

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** Ha looks like Saihara’s joining the vegetable squad, he’s red as a tomato 

**Daddy Issues are the New Cool:** Tomatoes are fruits you HEATHEN

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** Chabashira-san I would usually say fight me but...you scare me

 **Daddy Issues are the New Cool:** Good 

**32 Terabytes of Memes:** ...I have a theory. That @Dreamed of Being a Supermodel is Shirogane-san

 **Knows the Whole Gangnam Style Dance:** Why do you say so?   
  
**32 Terabytes of Memes:** There’s an odd sort of parallel between being a supermodel and a cosplayer, I think. Both wear clothes that don’t necessarily belong to them but the outfit doesn’t quite work without them.

 **Dreamed of Being a Supermodel:** To be fair, what girl hasn’t at some point wanted to be one?

 **Has a Million Followers On Their Cosplay Insta:** Quiet, Plain Girl. We’re at the final two.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** You _really_ don’t like TikTok, do you?

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** All of humanity holds some beauty. That… _Thing_ has no beauty however. The day it shuts down will be a day of celebration for all.

 **100% Touch Starved:** shinguji im coming for your hat 

**100% Touch Starved:** your scalp will see the sun mark my words

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Touch my hat and I will ensure you never see again.

 **100% Touch Starved:** i have retracted my statement and am no longer coming for your hat

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Excellent.

 **Afraid of Heights:** No retractions allowed! You said it so you have to do it.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** How about we _not_ encourage people to do things that will get them maimed.

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Perhaps I should take your eyes then, Momota.

 **Afraid of Heights:** _I didn’t threaten the hat_

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** ….why the eyes.

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** They are the windows to the soul.

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** Out of curiosity, what do you plan to do when you find out who is who, Shinguji?

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Simple. I will never speak to the TikTok dancer ever again.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** ...gonna be honest I expected something a lot worse...?

 **Afraid of Heights:** Yeah same.

 **Does TikTok Dances for Fun:** So who do you think it is, then?

 **Knows the Entire Gangnam Style Dance:** I am admittedly curious as to the answer myself.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** I-

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** _Ouma shut your detective up we want to hear Shinguji answer_

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** gjrjghdkrg since when am I _his_ detective?!

 **100% Touch Starved:** can do :)

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Ryoma

 **Knows the Entire Gangnam Style Dance:** And why do you say that?

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Because Kirumi sings Gangnam Style to herself during chores from time to time. Plus she has class.

 **Does TikTok Dances for Fun:** _fine_ you got me. I only learned them because my girlfriend liked them anyway.  
  
 **Kicks Ass in Smash:** Awww

 **Afraid of Heights:** Talk about no dignity though… _TikTok_?

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** _I went to prison for her once and I’ll do it again_. Don’t test me flyboy

 **Afraid of Heights** : _yikes_

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** Okay I can _hear_ Saihara practically _screaming_ what is Ouma _doing_ to him?   
  
**Kicks Ass In Smash:** Don’t know, he just ran in and snatched Saihara then ran off. Surprisingly strong for a gremlin

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** And you didn’t _stop_ him or alert anyone??? Aren’t you and Saihara dating??? What if he’s _torturing_ him?

 **Kicks Ass at Smash:** Would he really torture Saihara?

 **Knows The Entire Gangnam Style Dance:** that depends on if you consider tickling torture. I do believe, based on Saihara's audible pleas for mercy, that that is what is going on.

 **Afraid Of Heights:** @Monokuma we finished your fucking game ya psycho now let us fix our names.

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** ….and now he's gone quiet. I don't like this.

 **Kicks Ass in Smash:** Yea, I’m gonna go check on Saihara now

 **Kicks Ass in Smash:** Yup, totally fine. Nothing to see

 **Daddy Issues are the New Cool:** That was a...suspicious response.

 **Kicks Ass in Smash:** Kokichi’s on top of hi- I mean It. He’s got it covered

 **Knows The Entire Gangnam Style Dance:** They aren’t doing anything… inappropriate, are they?

 **Does TikTok Dances For Fun:** No way. Ouma might be a dick but he wouldn’t do _that_ with someone taken. And Saihara’s _definitely_ better than that.

 **Kicks Ass in Smash:** Yea, they both seemed to be laughing as Kokichi had him pinned down

 **Afraid of Heights:** Well if Akamatsu doesn’t see the need to intervene, I guess I don’t either. By the way, Hoshi, why did you tell _Ouma_ to shut him up?

 **Does TikTok Dance For Fun:** I thought they were still sitting near each other, so that was my first reaction.

**16 members have had Nickname Permissions restored.**

**Actually a Top changed Dreamed of Being a Supermodel to Plain Jane Bitch**

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Has anyone ever told you you’re the worst?

 **Actually a Top:** Just idiots

**Afraid of Heights changed Does TikTok Dances For Fun to Totally Whipped**

**Totally Whipped:** ……… start running, flyboy.

**Afraid of Heights is offline**

**Knows the Entire Gangnam Style Dance:** Ryoma-san

 **Totally Whipped:** Yeah yeah, I’m not gonna _hurt_ him. Just scare him.

**Totally Whipped changed Knows the Entire Gangnam Style Dance to Mother Hen**

**Mother Hen:** _-sigh-_

**Plain Jane Bitch changed Kicks Ass in Smash to Play Us a Song Piano Gal**

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Ok, wasn’t expecting that reference from you

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Gotta keep you all on your toes

**32 Terabytes of Memes changed Actually A Top to I'll Believe It When I See It**

**Afraid Of Heights changed Cries At Cute Animal Videos to Harumaki**

**Totally Whipped:** you're back quickly

 **Afraid Of Heights:** yep.

 **Harumaki:** Had to save his dumb butt

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** How sweet, Harukawa

 **Harumaki:** Silence, thot

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Huh?

 **I’ll Believe It When I See it:** Wow, was that a human reaction from the emotionless bitch?

 **I’ll Believe It When I See it:** As for you @32 Terabytes of Memes, you’re free to come down to my lab again if you want proof

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** He can do that later @32 Terabytes of Memes open your fucking door and hand over the memes 

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Are we really ignoring Harukawa memeing?

 **Harumaki:** If you want to survive, yes

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** I don't even know why I have so many. I don't think it's _exactly_ 32 but it is… an excessive amount.

 **Afraid Of Heights:** :DDDDDD I'm lucky to have such an awesome girlfriend.

 **Totally Whipped:** what the hell is that noise.

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** It’s the badger song you uncultured swine, and it’s ART.

 **Totally Whipped:** if that gets stuck in my head I'm hunting you both down.

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** It’s a worthy sacrifice.

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** highly preferable to the Mii Theme. 

**Has Never Ate an Avocado:** Kiibo open your fucking door those are fighting words 

**32 Terabytes of Memes** : I can always turn the music off?

 **Totally Whipped:** _yes_. Torment Amami with it, leave the rest of us alone.

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** who's uncultured now, preferring the Mii Theme to this?

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** They’re both classics I just find it insulting to compare one to another 

**32 Terabytes of Memes:** here. Peace offering. Once you're done with these I'll make another one.

 **Afraid Of Heights:** ????

 **32 Terabytes of Memes:** I gave Amami an external hard drive of memes. Not all of them, as I have a vested interest in prolonging my life.

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** thanks <3

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** "vested interest in prolonging my life" _are you sure about that_

 **100% Touch Starved:** fyi to all shuichi got woken up by that music and is now out for blood 

**100% Touch Starved:** good luck 

**32 Terabytes of Memes has changed 32 Terabytes of Memes to Running Away Now**

**Running Away Now:** there, it's off. I'm going to hide now.

**Running Away Now is offline**

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Ok, the sight of Kiibo running away from Saihara while Kokichi is sleeping on his back is both terrifying and adorable 

**I’ll Believe It When I See it:** Don’t worry, Ki-boy will be safe with me

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** oh is that where he ran off to.

 **Totally Whipped:** don't forget about Amami. He instigated the whole thing.

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** _rude_

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Before you go relaxing, Iruma did recently come to me for some lessons on the use of ropes.

 **Small Magical Girl:** Well, Robo guy is dead

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** good enough for me. Now _who_ instigated that?

 **Mother Hen:** may I suggest hiding with Chabashira-san, Amami-san? Or Akamatsu-san. Those two seem able to deflect Saihara-san.

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Oh I can take care of Rantaro. Been a while since we hung out together. Think you’d be up for doing my nails again?

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** Oh hell yeah, I’ll bring my stuff over

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** ……. Fine. You're safe for now.

 **Afraid Of Heights:** okay I have to admit seeing Saihara carrying the sleeping Gremlin like that is actually kinda cute. He must be pretty light, though.

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** Thank you for sparing my life Saihara

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** There’s no way he’d actually hurt anyone.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** _someone please put Monokuma in front of me and let's test that_.

 **Mother Hen:** ah, but does the bear actually count.

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** she did say 'anyone' but point taken. I don't know I'm still not entirely awake.

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Did you sleep well, Saihara?

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** ...I have a mildly foreboding feeling about actually answering that question for some reason, but… yes?

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** That… I was genuinely curious

 **Needs Hugs 24/7:** I… sorry, Kaede. My brain doesn’t like to function after just waking up :(

**Needs Hugs 24/7 changed Needs Hugs 24/7 to Tired Dumbass**

**Tired Dumbass:** there, more fitting

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal changed Tired Dumbass to Thinks Too Much**

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Nope, no self depreciation

 **I’ll Believe It When I See It:** Yea, Poo-ichi. You’re just annoying when you whine

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal changed I’ll Believe It When I See It to Talks Too Much**

**Talks Too Much:** Well fuck you too, bitch

 **Thinks Too Much:** and you’re annoying almost every time you open your mouth but that doesn’t seem to stop you.

 **Talks Too Much:** Eeeee

 **Small Magical Girl:** You’re too loud…

 **Daddy Issues are the New Cool:** Yumeno-chan is trying to sleep everyone! Please quiet down!

**Thinks Too Much changed Daddy Issues are the New Cool to Simp for Pretty Girls**

**Mother Hen:** Time for _someone_ to go back to bed

 **Harumaki:** Wow, didn't realize you had balls, Detective

 **Simp for Pretty Girls:** ….

 **Simp for Pretty Girls:** I will...not deny these allegations…

 **Simp for Pretty Girls:** But Saihara you’re dead next time I see you.

 **Play Us a Song Piano Girl:** Tenko, calm breaths

 **Small Magical Girl:** Geez, now everyone’s being loud. I’m going back to bed

 **Simp for Pretty Girls:** I’m breathing! And goodnight Yumeno-chan!

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Alright, now let’s avoid threatening to kill each other

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** I don’t see you telling Harukawa to stop

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** …. So anyways

 **Thinks Too Much:** thanks Harukawa :) I-

 **Thinks Too Much:** i must have stolen your boyfriends from when i kicked him <3

 **Harumaki:**...Don’t even attempt to get in my way, Piano Girl

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Was that really necessary, Saihara?

 **Thinks Too Much:** yes 

**100% Touch Starved:** _that wasn’t me Kokichi stole my monopad I thought he was still asleep_!! I don’t have a death wish thankyouverymuch

 **Harumaki:** Then I’ll just kill you both

 **Thinks Too Much:** way to ruin the fun shuichi >:(

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Harukawa, please let Saihara live

 **Harumaki:** Why should I?

 **Mother Hen:** That’s quite enough. Shuichi, Kokichi, go back to sleep or _I_ will take _both_ of your monopads. Harukawa, No.

 **Thinks Too Much:** _yes maam_.

 **Harumaki:** Ugh, fine. Too much work to dispose of two bodies anyways

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** _Why must all the pretty girls be crazy…_

**Thinks Too Much changed 100% Touch Starved to Gremlin Is Going To Get Someone Killed**

**Thinks Too Much:** I think I lost 10 years off my life just then _thank you Kokichi_.

 **Gremlin Is Going To Get Someone Killed:** first of all this is a long ass name and i wont stand for it

**Gremlin Is Going To Get Someone Killed changed Gremlin Is Going To Get Someone Killed to Purple Menace**

**Purple Menace:** second of all

 **Purple Menace:** youre welcome <3

 **Totally Whipped:** Wow, Tojo whipped out the Mom Mode. Apparently it even works on Harukawa. I’m impressed.

 **Has a Million Followers On Their Cosplay Insta:** It was indeed very impressive. Always a sight to see the power of a mother.

 **Talks Too Much:** Fucking weirdo

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Ok, are you like allergic to NOT swearing?

 **Talks Too Much:** Hey, someone as a-fuckin-mazing as me can use whatever words I want

 **Mother Hen:** Doesn’t swearing constantly imply lack of creativity? I thought I heard that somewhere.

 **Totally Whipped:** _ouch_

 **Talk Too Much:** Quiet, shorty

 **Afraid of Heights:** aaand _nothing_ to Tojo-san. Not surprising?

 **Mother Hen:** ….

 **Afraid of Heights:** Shutting up.

 **Talks Too Much:** I’m not stupid enough to piss off the chef. I need food

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Hey! Tojo is more than just a chef. She’s pretty and smart and our friend

 **Harumaki:** You probably should’ve put Friend before Pretty. Just saying

 **Purple Menace:** ha gay

 **Thinks Too Much:** Kokichi.

 **Purple Menace:** yes question mark

 **Thinks Too Much:** sleep time.

 **Mother Hen:** Thank you Akamatsu-san, I appreciate the sentiment. :)

 **Purple Menace:** yessir

 **Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Oh! Not that I’m putting your looks over you as a person. I was just trying to say how great you are and that was the first thing to pop to my mind. Not that I think of you in that way, BUT NOT THAT YOU DON’T DESERVE… I’m gonna just go lock myself in my lab for a few years now

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal is offline**

**Talks Too Much:** Gay AF. She should just grab Judo Girl and make out and shit for a while

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** I just saw a monopad go flying through the hallway what the fuck

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** Ah, It was Chabashira’s.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Huh, maybe Iruma’s onto something

 **Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta:** Weren’t you the one against shipping real people?

**Plain Jane Bitch has Changed Has a Million Followers on Their Cosplay Insta to Nosy Creep**

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Sorry, just couldn’t deal with that name anymore. Also it’s not shipping if there’s some truth to it

 **Totally Whipped:** hm, sounds like someone is a bit salty about the cosplay thing.

 **Mother Hen:** Shinguji-san, could I perhaps make a request of you?

 **Nosy Creep:** Sure

 **Mother Hen:** I find myself admittedly curious about the rope techniques you used before. Could I perhaps request a demonstration? I’m sure Iruma-san would volunteer to help once more.

 **Nosy Creep:** Well this is a surprise. I never took you for one interested in restraining a person. Very well, I will teach you.

 **Has Never Ate an Avocado:** I for one, am now terrified, how’s everyone else doing on this fine evening 

**Harumaki:** Still patching up Kaito since the dummy keeps flinching when I clean his injuries

 **Afraid of Heights:** Thanks Harumaki :D

 **Totally Whipped:** Yeah no that’s a _little_ terrifying. I almost pity Iruma for getting roped into that.

 **Talks Too Much:** HAH, Good one, Whippy

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** You do realize you’re about to be tied up?

 **Talks Too Much:** Perhaps

 **Afraid of Heights:** ..doesn’t she get off on it anyway?

 **Afraid of heights:** Also I feel like we’re forgetting something. Or someone.

 **Harumaki:** Haven’t heard anything about Robophobia in a while

 **Talks Too Much:** Oh Ki-boy is busy right now

 **Totally Whipped:** …..do I dare ask ‘busy how’?

 **Talks Too Much:** He’s hiding somewhere in my lab cause I wanted to upgrade his legs

 **Mother Hen:** ...perhaps finish that _before_ the demonstration then? I’m sure he would appreciate having his mobility back. Unless he is hiding so you _can’t_?

 **Talks Too Much:** He ran away before I could grab him

 **Running Away Now:** _I am not a toy to be played with thank you very much._

 **Talks Too Much:** It’s not playing, it’s making you more powerful

 **Running Away Now:** There’s this thing called _consent_ , perhaps you’ve heard of it?

 **Talks Too Much:** In sex yea

 **Nosy Creep:** Time’s up, Iruma. I have the rope ready

 **Running Away Now:** Oh good, it’s kind of cramped where I found to hide.

 **Talks Too Much:** I’ll find you later

 **Running Away Now:** ……. Harukawa-san, can I come sit with you for a while?

 **Harumaki:** Only if you don’t annoy me

 **Running Away Now:** I will… endeavor not to do so.

 **Harumaki:** Deal, come in

 **Totally Whipped:** Well that’s one way to ensure Iruma won’t bother you.

 **Running Away Now:** That was the idea, yes.

 **Harumaki:** Hopefully Iruma is smart enough to stay out of my room

 **Talks Too Much:** Correct

 **Mother Hen:** part of me wonders how long that will last.

 **Nosy Creep:** Depends how well you learn the ropes

 **Afraid of Heights:** ...those two make a scary pair.

 **Running Away Now:** ….now the image is in my head. Wonderful.

**Mother Hen has changed Afraid of Heights to Lacks Common Sense**

**Harumaki:** Agreed

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ……. No comment

 **Totally Whipped:** So you agree.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** _No_

 **Running Away Now:** then why the ‘no comment’?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Because I like being alive and would like to remain so?

 **Running Away Now:** ….understandable have a nice day

 **Totally Whipped:** eh life is overrated.

 **Harumaki:** Not gonna kill you, dummy

###  **////Chapter Four End\\\\\\\**

Name List:

Saihara Shuichi: Thinks Too Much  
Ouma Kokichi: Purple Menace   
Akamatsu Kaede: Play Us A Song Piano Gal   
Chabashira Tenko: Simp for Pretty Girls   
Yumeno Himiko: Small Magical Girl   
Yonaga Angie: Snorts Koolaid On The Regular   
K1-B0: Running Away Now   
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense   
Harukawa Maki: Harumaki   
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia   
Shirogane Tsumugi: Plain Jane Bitch   
Iruma Miu: Talks Too Much   
Shinguji Korekiyo: Nosy Creep   
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen   
Amami Rantaro: Has Never Ate An Avocado   
Hoshi Ryoma: Totally Whipped


	5. Ok Who Vented?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire: We decided to maintain the long chapters from last time
> 
> Tango: was no one gonna tell me we were updating today dndjdksllslslx *im kidding I love yall* In today’s news it’s hot mess central.  
> Multi: When is this *not* hot mess central? Enjoy the chapter, folks! We sre as hell did!

**Has Never Ate an Avocado has changed Has Never Ate An Avocado to The Dealer**

**The Dealer:** I stopped fearing god at age 7, who wants pics of Akamatsu, Ouma, and Saihara cuddling.

**Totally Whipped:** What about someone willing to  _ kill _ god?

**Thinks Too Much:** ….you have what now?

**The Dealer:** ah...ahah well uh you see 

**The Dealer is offline**

**Thinks Too Much:** I.. wasn’t even mad??? I’m confused.

**Totally Whipped:** @The Dealer your life isn’t in danger. Yet.

**Thinks Too Much:** I just want to see the pictures…. :(

**The Dealer:** Oh! Ok yeah sure dude I’ll send you them lol

**Thinks Too Much:** _awww Kaede and Kokichi look so cute_.

**Running Away Now:** May I see them?

**The Dealer:** ofc 

**Purple Menace:** haha shuichi drools what a loser

**Thinks Too Much:** and you snore, but you don’t hear me saying anything.

**Purple Menace:** my snores are adorable 

**Thinks Too Much:** Keep telling yourself that.

**Purple Menace:** i will >:(

**Thinks Too Much:** I’m saving this as my monopad background. It’s too cute.

**Mother Hen:** I am admittedly curious, myself

**The Dealer:** I gotchu Tojo-san 

**Mother Hen:** I must admit these are adorable pictures. How did you obtain them, Amami-san?

**The Dealer:** I have my ways (⌐■_■)

**Thinks Too Much:** …..now I’m suspicious.

**Totally Whipped:** I feel like you’re probably better not knowing?

**Nosy Creep:** Well I guess we know for sure that Akamatsu is ok with the two gremlins dating.

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Since when has Saihara been a gremlin?

**Nosy Creep:** Since he began spending all his free time with the Gremlin King.

**Thinks Too Much:** I wasn’t aware gremlin was contagious???

**Lacks Common Sense:** seems like a reasonable assumption though. Your habits have been affected by the purple one.

**Harumaki:** Kaito’s right, you’ve become more like him

**Purple Menace:** you mean yall dont kiss your homies good night

**Purple Menace:** pathetic 

**Harumaki:** No

**Lacks Common Sense:** no???

**Thinks Too Much:** Wh-

**Thinks Too Much:** _where do you come up with this stuff_

**Purple Menace:** in my super secret evil organization we always kiss our bros goodnight 

**Purple Menace:** yallre just cowards

**Thinks Too Much:** you mean the organization that doesn’t exist.

**Purple Menace:** it very much does exist thank you very much shuichi 

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Wait….  _ Did Kokichi kiss me goodnight??? Is that why I felt two kisses on my cheek???? _

**Harumaki:** Better get tested in case the Gremlin infection got passed to you

**Totally Whipped:** It’s spreading.

**Running Away Now:** wait, are all three of you dating or something?

**Thinks Too Much:** No.

**Purple Menace:** no 

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** No way, I’m just with Saihara

**Talks Too Much:** You sure they aint fuckin spit roasting you or some shit?

**Purple Menace:** iruma you have five seconds :)

**Talks Too Much:** Till what, you tiny ass gremlin?

**Purple Menace:** four

**Talks Too Much:** You think you can do shit to me? I’m the Golden Genius Iruma Miu. You play with dolls

**Purple Menace:** iruma open the fucking door :)

**Talks Too Much:** Hell the fuck no

**Purple Menace:** i thought you werent scared of me 

**Talks Too Much:** I’m not. I just don’t have any reason to look at you or risk catching the Gremlin

**Purple Menace:** kindly direct your attention to your rooms vent :)

**Talks Too Much:** You fuckin rat bastard…

**Talks Too Much is offline**

**Harumaki:** Well, that’s one annoyance dealt with

**Thinks Too Much:** Kokichi, don’t kill her. As annoying as she is, no need to give Monokuma what it wants.

**Purple Menace:** i didnt kill her <3

**Purple Menace:** :)

**Running Away Now:** You’re oddly calm about Ouma-kun spending so much time with your boyfriend, then, Akamatsu-san. Especially given how possessive he seems to be.

**Thinks Too Much:** I have the distinct feeling I don’t want to know what you  _ did _ do.

**Mother Hen:** ...that is probably wise.

**Mother Hen:** I feel that some of that comes from what Saihara-san was deducing about Akamatsu-san’s crush. Perhaps he has one that she knows about as well?

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Saihara seems to enjoy Ouma’s company. I’m glad he’s opening up to others

**Nosy Creep:** Perhaps you’re so accepting of their sudden relationship because you too have your eye on someone else.

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** What? No way, I’m happy with Saihara

**Thinks Too Much:** Kokichi and I are  _ friends _ . That’s it. That’s all it is. Kaede and I are dating and I’m perfectly happy with it staying that way.

**Lacks Common Sense:** If you say so, bro.

**Nosy Creep:** If you insist, Saihara.

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Suppose we have been just plain rude pushing our assumptions on you two

**Harumaki:** Told you it was nothing

**Small Magical Girl:** Nyeh? But you told US to keep an eye on Kokichi

**Harumaki:** Shut it

**Thinks Too Much:** What? Why?

**Thinks Too Much:** Also, thank you, Shirogane-san.

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Alright, so we’re all clear. Saihara and I are dating, he’s just hanging out with Ouma, and nothing weird is going on

**Nosy Creep:** I shall hold my tongue for now.

**Mother Hen:** It is interesting to see what people can come up with when bored and given the opportunity.

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** I’ll say…

**Lacks Common Sense:** I’m honestly curious as to why the gremlin reacted like that to Iruma being… well, Iruma.

**Totally Whipped:** ….that’s a fair point

**Purple Menace:** hey google how do you say im gay without saying im gay 

**Purple Menace:** hey google how do you delete a chat message

**Thinks Too Much:** dbhgbksjdfdf

**Thinks Too Much:** is  _ anyone _ in this chat straight though?

**Thinks Too Much:** Asking for a friend.

**Totally Whipped:** the first person who protests is definitely not straight

**Lacks Common Sense:** I am

**Lacks Common Sense:** …. Fuck you Hoshi

**Totally Whipped:** Not into idiots thanks

**Purple Menace:** haha suck dick momoron 

**Running Away Now:** …..would you like me to fetch some ice? Or aloe? For that burn you just experienced.

**Totally Whipped:** _ouch even the robot’s in on it now_.

**Purple Menace:** keebs you never did answer my question 

**Purple Menace:** do robots have dicks

**Running Away Now:** there was a reason I didn’t.

**Running Away Now:** _be curious_.

**Thinks Too Much:** pffffft

**Purple Menace:** >:( fine

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** I come back online to see male’s discussing their dicks

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** disgusting, why are you all like this 

**Purple Menace:** god youre a lesbian we get it

**Running Away Now:** technically I am neither male nor female.

**Running Away Now:** I suppose the ‘daddy issues’ are fairly apparent in hindsight.

**The Dealer:** Kiibo sipping piping hot tea today

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** If it were not for the laws of this land I would have slaughtered you. 

**Running Away Now changed Running Away Now to Press X to Doubt**

**Press X to Doubt:** .

**Press X to Doubt:** X

**Thinks Too Much:** The  _ sass _ today, Jesus. And it’s not even  _ Kokichi _ doing it.

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** You may not be male but you’ve been infected with degenerateness 

**Purple Menace:** youve all been infected with gremlin 

**Purple Menace:** suffer

**Thinks Too Much** : is it really suffering when I get to spend more time with you? <3

**Purple Menace is offline**

**The Dealer:** More screaming, really?

**Lacks Common Sense:** hey at least it shuts him up for a little while.

**Thinks Too Much:** :))))))

**Thinks Too Much:** that said, I really don’t think ‘gremlin’ and ‘degenerate’ are infectious diseases..?

**Purple Menace:** whos the medical professional here shuichi 

**Thinks Too Much:** not you.

**Purple Menace:** touche 

**Mother Hen:** and you wonder why people get ideas when you two are  _ constantly _ flirting.

**Purple Menace:** flirting question mark

**Purple Menace:** never heard of her

**Mother Hen:** Yes, I’m sure. Saihara-san please stop breaking Ouma-san his braincells are running low as is.

**Thinks Too Much:** He can always borrow mine?

**Mother Hen:** _-sigh-_

**Purple Menace:** wow thanks mom really doing wonders for my confidence 

**Purple Menace:** thanks shumai <3

**Small Magical Girl:** Braincells are overrated. Having a bunch takes up energy

**Totally Whipped:** I notice Saihara doesn’t  _ deny _ flirting with Ouma

**Thinks Too Much:** oh not this again

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** You ever have a piano wire around your tiny neck, Ryoma?

**Totally Whipped:** you overestimate my desire to live, Akamatsu.

**Harumaki:** Damn, Akamatsu. Didn’t expect that from you

**Nosy Creep:** Indeed, I suppose she’s mentally stronger than expected.

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** ...yea that was too much. I’m sorry, Ryoma

**Totally Whipped:** No need to apologise.

**Thinks Too Much:** …

**Lacks Common Sense:** okay now I’m really starting to suspect Saihara has a pain kink or something

**Thinks Too Much:** …..I’ll give you a fifteen second head start Momota.

**Purple Menace:** fight fight fight fight 

**Harumaki:** Don’t even try it, Boy Detective

**Thinks Too Much:** why not

**Harumaki:** Kaito’s an idiot, but he’s my idiot. And anyone who harms him won’t be breathing for much longer

**Purple Menace:** oh so youre admitting that youre moronsexual 

**Harumaki:** No, if I was I’d have my eyes on you

**Purple Menace:** ouch <3

**Thinks Too Much:** okay but Kokichi  _ definitely _ has the braincell more often than Momota. There’s no way you can deny that, Harukawa.

**Harumaki:** I suppose your boyfriend tends to be smarter at times

**Thinks Too Much:** _still_ not dating.

**Thinks Too Much:** He is fun to tease though.

**Totally Whipped changed Harumaki to Moronsexual**

**Totally Whipped changed Thinks Too Much to In Denial**

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Ughhhhhh, I hate you all

**Nosy Creep:** I think we’ve hit a couple nerves.

**Purple Menace:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Maybe you’re onto something, Tenko…

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** Oh?

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** These guys are annoying…

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** Yes! Convert to Neo-Aikido Kaede-chan!

**Plain Jane Bitch:** I have a plain bad feeling about this

**Nosy Creep:** Perhaps, but this will be interesting to observe.

**In Denial:** …….I would argue but you’re not even  _ wrong _ Kaede.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ….I would comment but anything I could say would probably get me killed.

**Moronsexual:** Plus you might actually push her over the edge of insanity. The only thing worse than one Aikido Idiot is two

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** Rude

**In Denial:** out of curiosity is Neo-Aikido just code for being gay?

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** No! It’s a highly respected form of combat!!

**In Denial:** which is… nothing at  _ all _ like actual aikido, which is about redirecting an opponent’s momentum and  _ not _ striking first.

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** It’s better this way!

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** ...so can you teach me to judo throw people?

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** If that’s what Kaede-chan wants!

**Play Us a Song Piano Gal:** Thanks Tenko!

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Well, at least things can’t get worse

**The Dealer:** Please don’t jinx us Shirogane

**Nosy Creep:** Indeed, words can have immense power under the right conditions. I can only hope the conditions haven’t been met.

**In Denial:** ….

**In Denial:** I… don’t have any words right now **(DM 1)**

**Moronsexual has changed Play Us a Song Piano Gal to Junior Aikido Idiot**

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** …

**Totally Whipped:** _why are there now two of them_

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** There isn’t. You guys are just rude because Tenko is a little weird

**Lacks Common Sense:** if by ‘weird’ you mean ‘simps over anyone who identifies as not-male’, sure.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Hey, have you seen girls? Like seriously, girls…

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** ^

**Nosy Creep:** At last she admits it.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Hey, I have Harumaki. She’s the perfect woman. <3

**Moronsexual:** As if. I’m nothing special

**Mother Hen:** ….is there something Saihara isn’t telling us? If you prefer girls….

**In Denial:** ...no..???

**Lacks Common Sense:** Almost right, Harumaki. You’re  _ everything _ special. At least to me.

**Moronsexual:** Geez, you’re such an idiot…

**Purple Menace:** romance ew why

**Nosy Creep:** So you have no interest in pursuing romance?

**Purple Menace:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Nosy Creep:** Suppose that is understandable. Many of the activities associated with romance once were more common place in society.

**Lacks Common Sense:** but I'm  _ your _ idiot Harumaki.

**Lacks Common Sense:** I feel like that question wasn't specific enough.

**Totally Whipped:** point. I can think of one person Ouma's already been pretty romantic with.

**In Denial:** I swear to god if anyone says me….

**Moronsexual:** Who else could they be talking about?

**In Denial:** what about Amami?

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** He’s a complete sucker for romance

**In Denial:** who, Amami? That's cute.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Yea, he and I talk about all sorts of things during our nail hangouts

**The Dealer:** What can I say, I’m a sucker for that kind of stuff

**In Denial:** I can think of someone else who’s a sucker for romance. **(DM 2)**

**Lacks Common Sense:** Who? Akamatsu?

**In Denial:** Not who I was thinking of

**Nosy Creep:** Surely not myself?

**The Dealer:** OwO?

**Purple Menace:** amami never do that again

**The Dealer:** Do you have ownership of all owos and kaomojis?

**Purple Menace:** yes

**The Dealer:** Well shit

**In Denial:** No he doesn’t.

**In Denial:** No I wasn't thinking of you either, Shinguji-san. You do seem like the type, though.

**The Dealer:** I love you no-hetero Akamatsu but plz, who ever it is come out I need fresh meat to watch rom-coms with 

**In Denial:** I have been forbidden from saying. But I can confirm if someone guesses?

**Mother Hen:** It isn’t me. I will watch rom-coms if requested but I’m not overly fond of how unrealistic they are.

**Small Magical Girl:** I always fall asleep during movies

**The Dealer:** Understandable Tojo-san 

**Plain Jane Bitch:** I don’t mind romance or rom-coms. Just wish the costumes were better

**Lacks Common Sense:** Ok but who is it then? It’s not Akamatsu, or Shinjguji, or Tojo, or Yumeno. It’s not Shirogane (I assume). It’s not me, I don’t think it’s Harumaki…

**Lacks Common Sense:** That leaves Shuichi, Ouma, Hoshi, Gokuhara, Iruma, Kiibo, Yonaga, and Chabashira.

**In Denial:** If it  _ was _ Harukawa, do you really think I’d risk outing her like this?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Point.

**Purple Menace:** we know how i feel about romance 

**Totally Whipped:** Unless it involves Saihara.

**Press X to Doubt:** I don’t really…  _ understand _ romance?

**Lacks Common Sense:** So that’s Ouma and Kiibo out.

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** Action movies are my go to! And in some rom-coms the men act way too creepy!

**In Denial:** I really wouldn’t out myself  _ either _ . Also I agree with Chabashira about some of the guys in rom-coms.

**Lacks Common Sense:** So that means…. It’s Yonaga, Gokuhara, Iruma or Hoshi.

**Mother Hen:** It could be Yonaga. We don’t really know much about her aside from her…  _ interest _ in Atua.

**Nosy Creep:** I think the only thing she cares about is her god

**Snorts Koolaid on the Regular:** who needs romance when you have Atua <3

**Lacks Common Sense:** @Totally Whipped @Arachnophobia @Talks Too Much ‘fess up, who is it?

**Arachnophobia:** Not Gonta! Much rather spend time with bugs

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** And I think Ouma ended Iruma

**Press X to Doubt:** ...I suppose I’ll go check on her….

**Press X to Doubt is offline**

**Lacks Common Sense:** Well shit, is it Hoshi, then? Hoshi’s a closet softy?

**Totally Whipped is offline**

**In Denial:** …I do not have a good feeling about this. At all.

**In Denial:** oh fuck. Running now.

**In Denial is offline**

**The Dealer:** Time to stop Hoshi before he can murder my bros and capture him so we can binge all of my favorite hallmark movies 

**The Dealer:** you might hear from me in the next 24 hours, no promises

**The Dealer is offline**

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Geez, this devolved quickly

**Mother Hen:** ….. Ouma  _ what did you do _ .

**Purple Menace:** youll find out soon enough 

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Did you fall for Monokuma’s need for death?

**Purple Menace:** no lmao

**Press X to Doubt:** She’s alive

**Press X to Doubt:** _she’s literally stuck in the vent_. It might take a moment to free her.

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** Wha-

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** That was way too far, Ouma. What if she actually got hurt?

**Purple Menace:** its just a vent

**Purple Menace:** i crawl in those all the time there isnt anything sharp or anything

**Purple Menace:** shes fine <3

**Mother Hen:** Iruma is  _ twice your size _ . Clearly she could not get out on her own.

**Purple Menace:** i would have helped her out eventually god

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Ugh, you’re such a guy 

**Mother Hen:** perhaps Saihara can get through to him…

**Mother Hen:** Assuming Hoshi can be persuaded not to kill him. He is much more helpful alive, since he can rein Ouma in.

**Press X to Doubt:** There, she’s out. **(DM 3)**

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** At least you’re still a good one, Kiibo

**Press X to Doubt:** She may require some water after being trapped in a small space all night. Tojo-san, could I trouble you to bring something for her? I believe she missed dinner as well as breakfast.

**Press X to Doubt:** thank you, Akamatsu-san. I appreciate that.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Of course, us girls gotta help each other

**Nosy Creep:** But wasn’t it Kiibo that freed Iruma?

**Press X to Doubt:** honestly I answer to either set of pronouns? So it doesn’t really bother me being called a girl.

**Mother Hen:** the pair of you are in Iruma’s room, I assume?

**Press X to Doubt:** Indeed.

**Mother Hen:** I will leave a tray outside her door.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Thank you, Kirumi

**Mother Hen:** But of course.

**In Denial:** remind me to thank Amami if he survives wrangling Hoshi. I thought I was going to die. **(DM 4)**

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Will do

**In Denial:** @Purple Menace do you have something to say to Iruma-san?

**Purple Menace:** im sorry your fat ass got stuck in the vent

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Be serious, Ouma

**Purple Menace:** i am being serious <3

**In Denial:** _Kokichi_.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Whatever, you’re beyond help

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Really? Usually you’re always trying to fix people

**In Denial:** Kaede? Is everything alright?

**Mother Hen:** I second this question. You're acting rather out of character.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** I’m fine, just tired

**Small Magical Girl:** Cause you’re way too active… you need to sleep more

**Lacks Common Sense:** Sleep? But there's so much to do! You need to be more active, Yumeno! Don't let life pass you by!

**In Denial:** I never thought I would agree with Momota, but he's right, Yumeno-chan. Maybe not physically so but at least mentally.

**Small Magical Girl:** Nyehhh, too much work

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** They may just be degenerate males, but they have a point Himiko. Come train with me tomorrow!

**Small Magical Girl:** Like I said, Too Much Work

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** Oh, well if you change your mind I’ll be in the courtyard

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** If it’s ok with you, Tenko, I could join your training

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** Yes! Do you need a uniform? I can get you whatever you need

**In Denial:** I think I saw some jigsaw puzzles in the game room if you would like to join me, Yumeno-chan? Of course, Kaede and Chabashira-san are welcome after their workout as well! :)

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** That could be fun

**Small Magical Girl:** Fine, since you guys won’t stop bugging me

**In Denial:** I think your magic skills might be helpful with finding pieces.

**In Denial:** oh! Tojo-san could I ask a favor of you?

**Mother Hen:** you may ask.

**In Denial:** hang on this is probably better asked in person.

**Mother Hen:** of course. That is easily done. We can start that now, even.

**In Denial:** awesome! Thank you Tojo-san!

**Mother Hen:** but of course.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** What are you planning, Saihara?

**In Denial:** Nothing bad. You’ll see tomorrow. It’s a surprise! :)

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** I don’t know… surprises from males are never good

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Tenko, please relax. Saihara is good

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** ….fine 

**Purple Menace:** i always like shuichis surprises ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**In Denial:** You won’t regret it, Chabashira-san, I promise. If it helps, Tojo-san is going to help me with it. **(DM 5)**

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** Alright, I’ll trust you

**In Denial:** Thank you. :)

**Lacks Common Sense:** Damn, not even a  _ blush _ from that. The gremlin’s losing his touch.

**Moronsexual:** Oh no. What a shame.

**In Denial:** No idea what you’re talking about. Blush from what?

**Mother Hen:** ...I would imagine from Ouma-kun’s slightly inappropriate comment.

**In Denial:** Comment? I don’t see anything.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Indeed

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...what do you mean you don’t see anything???

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** DIdn’t see any messages from a gremlin

**Lacks Common Sense:** _both of you_?!

**In Denial:** Yup.

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Ok, Akamatsu has been acting too weird. Did she get thrown onto her head too hard or something?

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** I WOULD NEVER THROW A GIRL THAT HARD!

**Nosy Creep:** So you admit you threw her?

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** Well yea, how else could I have shown her how to throw somebody? No other girls volunteered to help

**In Denial:** was about to say I would have volunteered but… honestly I don’t think I would have? Twice is enough.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Plus I’d rather practice with Tenko for now until I’m not worried about slamming you on your head too

**Mother Hen:** So you  _ were _ slammed on your head.

**Simp for Pretty Girls:** I didn’t throw her hard enough to hurt!

**Purple Menace:** @Talks Too Much listen up skank im only saying this once

**Purple Menace:** im sorry for overreacting at your comment and that i left you stuck in a vent for all that time

**Purple Menace:** i wasnt thinking about how you wouldnt be able to get out and were without food and water for all that time

**Purple Menace:** that was my bad

**In Denial:** :D

**Mother Hen:** …..I’m impressed

**Lacks Common Sense:** Who are you and what did you do with the asshole gremlin.

**In Denial:** Kaito, shut up.

**Purple Menace:** oh fuck off momoron

**Lacks Common Sense:** nope, he’s back. Nevermind.

**Snorts Kool-Aid on the Regular:** Who knew Saihara had such control of the demonic one?

**In Denial:** Yes, that’s  _ entirely _ what that is. Control

**In Denial:** Nothing whatsoever like  _ being a decent human being _ to someone.

**In Denial:** That  _ never _ works.

**Snorts Kool-Aid on the Regular:** Indeed!

**In Denial:** ….that was sarcasm.

**Lacks Common Sense:** that felt pretty pointed.

**In Denial:** Did it? Gee I wonder why.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Why are you so protective of him anyway? You’re selling yourself short sticking with him. You’ve got a.. Very attractive girlfriend and you  _ still _ spend most of your time with  _ that _ . Willingly.

**In Denial:** …………..

**Purple Menace:** i might have apologized to iruma but no one except maybe harukawa would care if i stuffed you in a vent momoron

**Purple Menace:** wanna go see if you fit question mark :)

**Lacks Common Sense:** You wouldn’t

**Lacks Common Sense:** Shuichi wouldn’t let you.

**In Denial:** Hey  @Press X To Doubt I have a question for you

**Press X to Doubt:** ?

**In Denial:** how much weight do you think these vents can hold.

**Purple Menace:** :)

**Purple Menace is offline**

**Press X to Doubt:** not enough for whatever Ouma-kun is planning.

**In Denial:** Oh. Oops.

**Lacks Common Sense:** OI!

**In Denial:** @Purple Menace Just pick somewhere where the fall _won’t_ kill or maim him, okay?

**Purple Menace:** fine

**In Denial:** <3

**Moronsexual is offline**

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Whelp, Ouma’s definitely dead now

**In Denial:** Mmm how about we not.

**In Denial is offline**

**Plain Jane Bitch:** It’s quiet now

**Press X to Doubt:** Akamatsu-san are you not even the  _ slightest _ bit concerned that Harukawa-san might kill your boyfriend…?

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** No, because she’s only interested in Ouma

**Press X to Doubt:** and if he gets in her way…? (Which he likely will)

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** There’s one problem: Saihara and Ouma vanished off the map just now

**Talks Too Much:** The fuck you mean, Limp Tits?

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** ….someone come deal with this lost child

**Press X to Doubt:** What  _ do _ you mean "disappeared"?

**Press X to Doubt:** what..  _ how? _

**Lacks Common Sense:** yeah I was chasing them and I don't know either. They  _ vanished _ .

**Nosy Creep:** How curious. I wonder what secret those two discovered

**Press X to Doubt:** whatever it is, hopefully they're alright. I hope Monokuma didn't do anything to them.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Not sure he can do anything directly to us. I mean, all he’s done so far is change our names to odd secrets

**Press X to Doubt:** true, but there may be traps set in the school that don't count as  _ direct _ harm should we fall in them.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** ...shit

**Press X to Doubt:** my sentiment exactly. I do hope they are alright.

**Press X to Doubt:** I am not sure which fate would be worse. Being found by Harukawa-san or not being found at all.

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Not finding them. I don’t want to lose any of my friends

**Press X to Doubt:** fair but then we run into the earlier problem of Saihara-san possibly getting himself killed defending Ouma-kun

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Hm… Hey Kaito, is there any way for you to call off Harukawa?

**Lacks Common Sense:** I can  _ try _ ?

**Moronsexual:** Kaito says one of you saw the gremlins?

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Um… no? We asked him to get you to stop hunting them down

**Moronsexual:** Should’ve known he made that up. Whatever, I lost track of those two anyways

**Lacks Common Sense:** what were you saying about a trap, Kiibo?

**Press X to Doubt:** just hoping the school  _ isn’t _ trapped. Otherwise they could be hurt and we’d have no way to locate them.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (around the time of Shuichi saying ‘I have no words’)

_ Saihara Shuichi: _ I suppose that’s one way to spend more time with your crush, huh?   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ You’re one to talk. How’s Ouma doing?   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ >///////< admittedly making him yell from flirty comments is… kind of fun?   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ I guess he’s kinda cute when he blushes   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ right? But so is Tenko, I have to admit. When she’s not yelling about ‘degenerates’ she’s actually pretty cool.   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ Yea, that is a bummer. She’d probably have an easier time getting a girlfriend if she wasn’t so outspoken against guys   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ if you think it would help I wouldn't mind hanging out with you two sometimes. It's not like we really act super romantic around others?   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ I mean, Tenko and I don’t hang out alone that often but if you’re ok with it, she might warm up to you. Just try to keep Ouma away.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ got it. Unless someone wants target practice anyway? :D that might be funny to watch.   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ Hm… he WOULD be fun to judo throw   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Judo throw practice aside, I 100% support you wanting to spend more time with Tenko.   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ Glad you’re ok with it

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**   
DM 2 (Shuichi alluding to someone else being a fan of romance)

_?????: _ Shut up. Don’t you dare.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ why not?   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Will it ruin your image?   
_??????: _ Yes.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ aw but that story you told me about was so sweet…   
_????: _ Do. Not.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**   
DM 3 (Conversation between Iruma and Kiibo post vent rescue)

_Iruma Miu:_ Throat’s dry, water please  
_K1-B0:_ sure let me grab the tray Tojo-san left.  
_K1-B0:_ here.  
_Iruma Miu:_ Thanks Bo-I mean… Thanks Kiibo  
_K1-B0:_ You’re welcome, Iruma-san.  
_Iruma Miu:_ Surprised you came looking for me, after everything  
_K1-B0:_ I try not to be the type to hold my disagreements with someone over their well-being. Especially in situations like this.  
_Iruma Miu:_ Well don’t expect that kind of treatment back. Us humans are pretty rude and selfish  
_K1-B0:_ Humans are… interesting. But not all bad. You, for example. You may be crass and… a bit much, occasionally, but you definitely have your moments.  
_Iruma Miu:_ Yea right, like anyone could like me  
_K1-B0:_ you might be surprised. We are all trapped here together, after all. Someone may just surprise you. Anyway, make sure you eat. I know you missed breakfast this morning but I wasn’t sure about dinner last night, so I believe Tojo-san brought extra.  
_Iruma Miu:_ Thanks… mind not telling her I missed lunch too?  
_K1-B0:_ ….just this once.  
_K1-B0:_ no more skipping meals.  
_Iruma Miu:_ I can’t fuckin help that sometimes all my attention goes into what I’m inventing  
_K1-B0:_ Okay, so I'll start bringing you food, then.  
_Iruma Miu:_ You sure you want to be near my lab?  
_K1-B0:_ as long as you agree to not attempt any upgrades without my permission, I don't mind coming by. I realize my body is… interesting, but I'm just like anyone else that being touched or messed with without permission makes me uncomfortable.  
_Iruma Miu:_ guess that’s fair since your being my butler now  
_K1-B0:_ _friend_ works as well. And you're welcome.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**   
DM 4 (conversation between Kokichi and Shuichi post vent rescue)

_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Really. You’re pouting now?   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ and if i am question mark   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Why was it necessary to get Iruma stuck in the vent   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ she was being annoying   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ I mean it shut her up for a bit   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ there are other ways.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ come on, Kokichi. I can only do so much to keep people from treating you like crap without your help, or at least  _ slight cooperation. _ Please?   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ fineeeee    
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ youre lucky i like you shuichi   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Awe I like you too <3   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ (*≧∀≦*)   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Thank you Kokichi. :D

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 5 (After Shuichi ignored Kokichi’s comment about his surprises)

_Ouma Kokichi:_ damn ok i see how it is  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ …….  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Do you now.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ Wow, ok. So this is how we’re doing it now.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ ….  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ _goddamn it_.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Not sure _why_ I thought this would actually work.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I’m sorry.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ oh thank god it physically hurts to type that way  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ hehe you broke first  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ first of all fuck you  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ You suck and I hate you  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ (obviously not really)  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ i may suck but you swallow <3  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ only for you  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ <3  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ you good sir will be the death of me  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ oh good we’re on the same page.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Now will you _please_ apologize?  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Ignoring you is awful.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ apologize to who question mark  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Iruma. Who else.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ ew why i thought i already did  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ because you _got her stuck in a vent_ over a comment that _was directed at Kaede_.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Not to mention you’ve said worse.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ i  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ it would be too much work to explain myself so fine ill fucking apologize   
_Ouma Kokichi:_ but I aint doing this again  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ ...explain…. What exactly?  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ aw, my beloved phantom thief. <3  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I’m proud of your growth :P  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ that was sarcastic and we both know it <3  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Was it though?  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Are you sure about that?  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ go check chat  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ make sure i did that right  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ You did  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ <3  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Thank you.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ whatever   
_Ouma Kokichi:_ <3  
-  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I give you full fucking permission to stuff _him_ in a vent. I’ll even hide you from Harukawa.

###  **////////Chapter Five End\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

Name List:

Saihara Shuichi: In Denial   
Ouma Kokichi: Purple Menace   
Akamatsu Kaede: Junior Aikido Idiot   
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual   
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense   
Hoshi Ryoma: Totally Whipped   
Amami Rantaro: The Dealer   
Chabashira Tenko: Simp for Pretty Girls   
Yumeno Himiko: Small Magical Girl   
Yonaga Angie: Snorts Kool-Aid on the Regular   
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen   
K1-B0: Press X to Doubt   
Shirogane Tsumugi: Plain Jane Bitch   
Iruma Miu: Talks Too Much   
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia   
Shinguji Korekiyo: Nosy Creep


	6. Some Play Cupid and Some Play Devil's Advocate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tango here!! Once again the girls are fightingggggg, will they ever stop? ~~no lmao~~, and ofc as always we hope you enjoy!  
> Multi: Kirumi and Rantaro's banter gives me ~life~. Really all the sass this chapter does. I love it.

**Press X to Doubt:** ...has anyone seen Saihara or Ouma yet?

 **The Dealer:** Not yet, or at least not around the dorms anyway.

 **Simp for Pretty Girls:** They were not in the dining room or library when I was in there earlier!

 **Press X to Doubt:** I'm getting a bit worried.

 **Press X to Doubt:** oh, hold on.

 **Press X to Doubt:** they're back on the map. Both of them. Looks like they're in Saihara's dorm room?

 **The Dealer:** I wonder why they went off the map yesterday, and how as well.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I mean. I can show you guys where we lost them but I think the only others that can follow their path are Hoshi and Yumeno. The rest of us would probably be too big to fit.

 **Small Magical Girl:** Why me?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** They went through the vents, and you two, and Ouma, are the smallest of all of us. Honestly I’m surprised Shuichi fit.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Though he is a skinny little shit so I guess that’s how.

 **Small Magical Girl:** Nyehhh fine. Guess thats fine

 **In Denial:** Wait what do you guys mean ‘off the map’? We were just in the vents???

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** We couldn’t find you all night. You seriously spent all night just in the vents?

 **In Denial:** There’s a _lot_ of vents, we _may_ have gotten turned around a time or ten. Though the idea of part of it not being on the map at all is certainly _interesting_.

 **Nosy Creep:** Indeed. I’m curious too

 **In Denial:** Couldn’t exactly pull out my Monopad in that small space so I couldn’t say _where_ that started. Kokichi might be able to look at his next time? But he’s sleeping right now so I’m going to hold off asking him.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Ah, ok then

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Is it really a good idea to let the degenerates have a space they can’t be found in?

 **In Denial:** We could show Yumeno-chan and Hoshi-san, but let us at least make sure we can navigate without getting lost before we lead others around.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Seems reasonable? It’s not like any of us can really fit to follow them anyway unless they find a room?

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** I don’t know....

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Tenko, it’s ok. Himiko can be trusted, right?

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** OH OF COURSE! I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise

 **Small Magical Girl:** Nyeh, it’s ok. I can come across as lazy sometimes

 **In Denial:** Well now that we’re both awake, Yumeno-chan, want to help me find a puzzle? Just have to stop at the kitchen really quick to pick something up and I’ll meet you there?

 **Small Magical Girl:** Sounds good. I’ll be there soon

 **In Denial:** Awesome. See you soon, then.

 **Mother Hen:** I’ll set the basket on the table for you, Saihara-san.

 **In Denial:** Thank you Tojo-san.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** So how’s Iruma doing, Kiibo?

 **Press X to Doubt:** Sleeping, currently. I brought some breakfast up for her so she didn’t have to wake up with the announcement if she didn’t want to.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Really? Figured she’d have rejected your help

 **Press X to Doubt:** Oh she didn’t ask. I just felt like doing something nice for her.

 **Moronsexual:** Have fun dealing with her. Just try to avoid getting taken apart

 **Press X to Doubt:** I think we came to an understanding about that yesterday, but thank you for your concern, Harukawa-san! :D

 **In Denial:** That’s sweet of you to do for her, Kiibo.

 **In Denial:** Will you and Chabashira-san be joining us after your workout, Kaede?

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Yup, we’re just about to start so probably a half hour from now

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Indeed, so no degenerates better come to the gym for a while

 **Lacks Common Sense:** That’s fine, I prefer doing mine in the courtyard anyway. I prefer the fresh air. Want to join me, Harumaki?

 **Moronsexual:** Think you can keep up?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** We won’t know until we try!

 **Moronsexual:** Guess it’s fine. Was getting bored anyways

 **In Denial:** Wow Tojo-san you went all-out. This basket is pretty heavy. Thank you for your help with it!

 **Mother Hen:** But of course. It is my honor as a maid.

 **In Denial:** :)

 **The Dealer:** After being around Ouma so long I can only view those smiles as threatening. 

**In Denial:** :D

 **In Denial:** Better?

 **The Dealer:** Yes <3 

**Press X to Doubt:** Basket?

 **In Denial:** Yes.

 **Talks Too Much:** Stand up and bow, mortals. Your Tech Goddess has awoken

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Um, why would we stand if we’re just going to bow?

 **Talks Too Much:** I don’t fuckin know, you plain bitch

 **Lacks Common Sense:** does anything she says ever make sense?

 **Nosy Creep:** Rarely

 **Talks Too Much:** Fuck you too, Kore-Creepo

 **Press X to Doubt:** Miu eat your breakfast before you start insulting people.

 **Talks Too Much:** Fine...

 **In Denial:** Wow there’s more puzzles in here than I thought.

 **Small Magical Girl:** Nyehhhhhhh, you didn’t tell me it was dark in the vents

 **In Denial:** Yumeno-chan why are you in the vents??

 **Small Magical Girl:** I thought the puzzle was in the vents

 **In Denial:** No? They’re in the game room in the basement?? Where are you?

 **Small Magical Girl:** I’m not sure, there’s a white and black door behind me and a super tall staircase in front of me

 **In Denial:** Hang on, I’ll come find you. Do you know what floor you’re on?

 **Small Magical Girl:** ill try banging on the door

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Don’t panic Yumeno-Chan! It’s best to stay calm! 

**Junior Aikido Idiot:** Wow, she’s loud for such a small girl

 **In Denial:** If you can hear her she must be near the gym, then. I’m heading that way now.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Ow, that door is tough

 **In Denial:** ...do I want to know?

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Tried to kick it open…. my foot aches

 **In Denial:** I’ll grab you an ice pack once we find Yumeno-chan?

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Sounds good, Saihara 

**Small Magical Girl:** HELLLLLP 

**In Denial:** I hear you, Yumeno-chan. I think I know where you are.

 **In Denial:** I see you. Come towards the vent grate behind you, I’ll help you up. Or we could see where that door goes if you like.

 **Nosy Creep:** I am curious what’s at the peak of these stairs that were mentioned.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Anyone else surprised that Shuichi found his way through the vents that fast? Maybe Gremlin really is contagious.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** I knew it!

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** I thought your gimmick was degenerates?

 **In Denial:** ....this again…?

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Tenko, let’s focus on Yumeno for now

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** You’re right, apologies Himiko!

 **Small Magical Girl:** It’s ok, just waiting for Saihara to pull me up

 **In Denial:** Got you. There.

 **In Denial:** though I do want to come back here later. I'm curious about those stairs too.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Me too. Wonder why it was locked up

 **The Dealer:** I’ve noticed quite a few places that we can’t access, who wants to ask monokuma?

 **In Denial:** ...noticed how? I didn’t realize you could fit in the vents, Amami-kun.

 **In Denial:** Also, welcome back. How was the romcom binge? **(DM 1)**

 **The Dealer:** By walking around you can find a few places locked, the checkered door, classroom c, etc.

 **The Dealer:** And the binge was lots of fun, thanks for asking :D

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Guess I did have to break into my piano room. Wonder why?

 **Nosy Creep:** Perhaps an incentive to kill.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Hey, I wasn’t serious when I said I’d kill for a piano 

**Nosy Creep:** Still, the thought was in your mind enough to say so.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** I was just joking, Korekiyo 

**Nosy Creep:** Curious how you are so calm about this Killing Game we’re in that you can joke about it. Perhaps you’re more similar to the rat child than I thought.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** ….

 **Nosy Creep:** Just an observation, Akamatsu.

**Junior Aikido Idiot is offline**

**Talks Too Much:** Jesus fuck you’re an asshole

 **In Denial:** …….

 **In Denial:** Was that absolutely necessary?

 **Nosy Creep:** I beg your pardon?

 **In Denial:** There are some things better left unsaid, especially when someone is already upset.

 **Nosy Creep:** Being upset doesn’t exempt a person from being instructed on their actions. Surely your parents handled matters the same way.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** My degenerate senses are tingling

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Shinguji! You’re being very insensitive right now!

 **In Denial:** It’s called _time and place_ . A little _tact_ wouldn’t kill you either.

 **In Denial:** Also, I suppose they might have if they hadn’t been too busy travelling the world.

 **In Denial:** Yet somehow I learned more about how to be human and empathy than the person who studies them so. Make of that what you will.

**In Denial is Offline**

**Snorts Kool-Aid on the Regular:** Atua says you are a punk ass little bitch

 **Nosy Creep:** Interesting, this is the first time I’ve been insulted by a god directly.

 **The Dealer:** ….Oof 

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Um, whoever is in the piano room playing just plainly poorly, you should probably leave before Akamatsu arrives

 **Press X to Doubt:** uh. Shirogane-san? I think that _is_ Akamatsu playing.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Oh dear, this is worse than I thought

 **Press X to Doubt:** Uh. Shinguji-san? You said “directly”. _Have_ you been insulted by a god before this????

 **Nosy Creep:** I have studied a great many cultures and faiths. In my youth, I was not the experienced academic you all see today, and I in turn committed a great many mistakes that upset various gods.

 **Talks Too Much:** Geez, for such a smartass, you can be a real idiot about people

 **Nosy Creep:** And you consider your people skills to be superior? I think not, you loudmouthed child.

 **Press X to Doubt:** …..she hasn’t managed to piss off two of the three most level-headed people in our group in a matter of sentences yet, at least? Something you can no longer say.

 **Moronsexual:** So the creep pissed off a couple people, whats new?

 **Press X to Doubt:** It’s more about _who_ he pissed off than anything, as far as I understand?

 **Moronsexual:** Well if Judo Girl decides to beat up the creep, let me know so I can watch

 **Press X to Doubt:** …….why

 **Moronsexual:** Could be interesting seeing her actually beat him to a pulp, considering he insulted her girlfriend

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** WHAT?!? No no, she’s not my girlfriend, she’s just a friend!

 **Moronsexual:** Whatever

 **Press X to Doubt:** …. <-

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** X

 **Mother Hen:** Apologies Chabashira-san

 **Mother Hen:** X

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Gallllsssss!

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Sorry, Chabashira. But when I went into her lab, she asked about Saihara and you

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** … She did?

 **Press X to Doubt:** I don’t suppose that’s surprising.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Shush, im gay…

 **Press X to Doubt:** ...I think we all realized that very quickly about you, to be honest.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Still hard to say it

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Sorry for making you say it then

 **Press X to Doubt:** I don’t believe any of us will have our opinions of you change with you admitting to this. I know mine has not.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** I mean, none of us cared that Amami and Hoshi spent the night sharing a room

 **Talks Too Much:** Geez, do you know how to keep a fuckin secret, you slack-jawed bitch?

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** You spent the night being comforted by Kiibo, correct?

 **Talks Too Much:** SHUT UP!

 **The Dealer:** ….I’m more concerned with how Shirogane knows all this 

**The Dealer:** and the only thing romantic that happened was the cheesy movies on my tv, thank you very much 

**Mother Hen:** Much to your disappointment, I’m sure.

 **Press X to Doubt:** ...I wasn’t exactly _hiding_ where I was?

 **The Dealer:** Tojo-san don’t you have something to be doing :)

 **Mother Hen:** Do I? I find my time to be well spent making sure everyone is _happy_. Including Hoshi-san, however much he protests.

 **The Dealer:** _I’m trying to politely tell you to fuck off 💚_

 **Mother Hen:** 💜 No

 **Nosy Creep:** And you call me rude, Amami

 **The Dealer:** Yes :)

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Yea you’re the worst, Degenerate Creep!

 **Press X to Doubt:** …...Miu are you alright…?

 **Talks Too Much:** I’m fine, Ki-boy

 **Mother Hen:** Romance is indeed in the air. Must be those romantic comedies.

 **Totally Whipped:** the actual fuck did I wake up to in this hell chat

 **Mother Hen:** Oh nothing, just three possible new couples.

 **The Dealer:** Tojo-san’s decided to play Cupid

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** I’m just helping

 **Mother Hen:** What’s that, Amami-san? You’d like help planning a date? Certainly 💜

 **The Dealer:**...what have I done

 **Small Magical Girl:** Nyeh, couples exhaust me

 **Totally Whipped:** @In Denial I am so sorry for contributing to this bullshit with you yesterday

 **In Denial:** Apology accepted and appreciated, Hoshi-san.

 **The Dealer:** Ok you have to admit that it was funny though, you have a much higher pitched scream than I would have thought Saihara lmao

 **In Denial:** scream?

 **In Denial:** ...oh.

 **Press X to Doubt:** I don’t understand???

 **The Dealer:** Don’t worry about it

 **Talks Too Much:** You’ll understand when you’re older

 **In Denial:** someone has a dirty mind.

 **Talks Too Much:** Well duh, have you fuckin met me, you dumb virgin?

 **Purple Menace:** unfortunately weve all met you

 **In Denial:** Iruma-san calling _anyone_ a virgin seems a bit rich.

 **Talks Too Much:** H-Hey, shut it. I’ve totally done it before

 **Nosy Creep:** Your hands don’t count.

 **In Denial:** Oh _really_.

 **In Denial:** Name once.

 **Talks Too Much:** Geez, I’m not one to kiss and tell

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Well that’s BS

 **In Denial:** In other words, you’ve got nothing.

 **Talks Too Much:**...fine

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Oh, Akamatsu says it’s fine that Iruma’s never had sex and we all need to be…. I think she said friends though it’s hard to tell through the crying

 **In Denial:** ….I’m on my way up.

 **Nosy Creep:** Hm, she took my words quite harshly.

 **Mother Hen:** Did you think she wouldn’t?

 **Nosy Creep:** I merely pointed out that joking about killing during a Killing Game seemed odd.

 **Small Magical Girl:** And accused her of wanting to kill

 **Nosy Creep:** I said no such thing.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Well that’s how she took it you _male_

**Mother Hen:** You _directly_ implied that her idle comment and attempt at humor meant that she might actually consider killing someone. How did you expect that to be taken?

 **Nosy Creep:** You are telling me none of you have considered taking Monokuma up on his offer to get out? Of course you have, you all simply understand discretion is necessary to maintain the peace. The exceptions are Ouma and seemingly Akamatsu now.

 **Totally Whipped:** The fuck? No.

 **In Denial:** Not even for a second.

 **Mother Hen:** Why would I consider such a thing when getting away with it means every one of you would die in my place?

 **Press X to Doubt:** I believe in Akamatsu-san’s ideal where we figure out how to escape _together_.

 **Nosy Creep:** I see. It appears I made a misjudgement and revealed too much.

 **Talks Too Much:** Hell yea, you fuckin creep

 **Press X to Doubt:** I admit I have my doubts occasionally, and consider that that may be the only way, but I’m told that doubts are human?

 **Purple Menace:** woooow you know that question mark

 **Purple Menace:** too bad youre just a robot and cant actually feel doubt

 **Talks Too Much:** Hey shut the fuck up, gremlin!

 **In Denial:** Kokichi. Why.

 **Press X to Doubt:** Honestly I’m surprised _you_ understand human emotion sometimes, Ouma.

 **Purple Menace:** uwu

 **Purple Menace:** well atleast i can comprehend my own complex emotions 

**Purple Menace:** right saihara-chan :)

 **Talks Too Much:** Kiibo is more human than you, gremlin. Shut your boyfriend up, Poo-ichi

 **In Denial has muted Purple Menace** **(DM 2)**

 **In Denial:** Sorry, a bit busy comforting my _girlfriend_. Will that do?

 **Talks Too Much:** Whatever, it’ll have to do

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ...anybody else notice that they’re both being kinda cold to each other out of nowhere?

 **Moronsexual:** What do you mean, Kaito?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** when was the last time the gremlin called Shuichi ‘Saihara-chan’ aside from just now? And Shuichi isn’t even _trying_ to defend the menace.

 **Moronsexual:** I guess it’s something. Not sure what it means though

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Great… two males acting up

 **Lacks Common Sense** : No idea what it means either.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** So Saihara, how’s Akamatsu doing?

 **In Denial:** Still upset, but seems a bit better. She says she’s sorry for worrying everyone.

 **Totally Whipped:** Well as long as she’s feeling better.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Don’t worry, Kaede. We understand how hard it is dealing with males and their inability to think before they speak

 **Small Magical Girl:** Do you have to make everything about men?

 **Totally Whipped:** I guess nice to know I’m no longer male???? At least according to some people.

 **The Dealer:** What?

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** What do you mean?

 **Totally Whipped:** Just kind of amusing to me that she says “we” when the two people that spoke directly before her are “degenerate males”. So either we don’t count or she just willingly grouped herself with us.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I think that’s the most you’ve said in one go this entire time.

 **Totally Whipped:** hm I wonder why that is.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ????

 **Totally Whipped:** What just happened when I actually took the time to say something and why would I waste my time talking for that result.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** I didn’t intend to include you, Hoshi. But I guess you’re one of the decent males

 **Totally Whipped:** Thanks? I guess?

**Lacks Common Sense changed Totally Whipped to Salty Bean**

**Salty Bean:** …….do you want to die

 **Moronsexual:** That’s my line

 **Salty Bean:** Then use it on your boyfriend.

 **Salty Bean:** Bet you won’t.

 **Moronsexual:** I have before

 **Salty Bean:** Before or after you started dating him?

 **Moronsexual:** I still say it… just not as often

**Mother Hen unmuted Purple Menace**

**Mother Hen:** sometimes he says things everyone’s thinking but no one wants to.

 **Purple Menace:** thank you for unmuting me mom <3333

 **Purple Menace:** @In Denial two things

 **Purple Menace:** fuck you

 **Purple Menace:** and im sorry

 **Lack of Common Sense:** ….no seriously, who are you and what have you done with the gremlin

 **In Denial:** when where and how hard

 **In Denial:** <3

 **In Denial:** Thank you, Kokichi

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Ssse? We cannn be friendss

 **Purple Menace:** midnight my room break my back ;)

 **Purple Menace:** and momoron fuck off

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:**...neveminds

 **In Denial:** to be fair Kaito did start that one, Kaede.

 **Press X to Doubt:** Are you alright, Akamatsu-san?

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Eyess tsill fuzzy from cryinf

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Maybe you should take a break, Akamatsu

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ….is someone going to point it out?

 **Mother Hen:** Do it and you’ll eat only leaves for a week

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Shutting up.

 **Talks Too Much:** Hey! What the fuck are you apologizing to _him_ for?! Kiibo is the one ya should be apologizing to, ya pea-brained gutter trash

 **Purple Menace:** well i already used my apology for today soooo uwu 

**Talks Too Much:** Ugh, you’re the worst

 **Purple Menace:** i know :D

 **Press X to Doubt:** >///////////////<

 **Salty Bean:** Aw, does the Innocent One have a crush?

 **Talks Too Much:** So fuckin what if he does?

 **In Denial:** and I think it’s reciprocated.

 **In Denial:** That’s _adorable_.

 **Mother Hen:** I believe the phrase is ‘called it’?

 **Talks Too Much:** Fuck off

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Oh, that’s actually cute

 **Press X to Doubt:** ………

 **Press X to Doubt:** is that what this warm, fluttery feeling is?

 **Talks Too Much:** Tch, don’t make this awkward you bunch of virgins…

**In Denial changed Talks Too Much to Baby’s First Crush**

**Baby’s First Crush:** Shut it, virgin

 **In Denial:** We went over this already :)

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ...when was the last time Shuichi’s name got changed.

 **In Denial:** why?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** no reason.

**Purple Menace has changed In Denial to Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs**

**Baby’s First Crush:** Hah! Suck on that, Poo-ichi

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _why_

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs changed Press X to Doubt to Innocent Baby**

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs changed Purple Menace to UwU Menace**

**UwU Menace** : i take this name with pride 

**Baby’s First Crush:** Of course you do

 **Innocent Baby:** What.. I-I-I am _not_!

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** oh, you sweet summer child. Yes you are.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Ignore them, Kiibo

 **Innocent Baby:** A-alright.

**Mother Hen changed The Dealer to Sweet Bean**

**Mother Hen:** since matching names are a thing now.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Its a shame there’s no one for you to match with

 **Moronsexual:** I thought you didn’t ship real people

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Its too much fun now

 **Small Magical Girl:** Just leave me out of it, or I’ll use my magic to make you a duck

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Oh boy she’s serious, Tsumugi. Better not bother Himiko

 **Small Magical Girl:** Nyeh, worried she’ll take your job?

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Himiko?

 **Small Magical Girl:** Who said you could use my first name like that? Can you just be quiet for a few minutes?

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Oh, of course Yumeno. I’ll just go check on Kaede

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** *Akamatsu. I’ll go check on Akamatsu

**Simps for Pretty Girls is offline**

**Mother Hen:** I would caution against saying things that could just as easily apply to yourself, Shirogane-san.

 **Mother Hen:** besides, a simple maid is unworthy of such an honor.

 **Salty Bean:** _holy shit_ who knew the lazy one had it in her.

 **Small Magical Girl:** Didn’t sleep last night so I’m tired

 **Lacks Common Sense:** aren't you always tired anyway?

 **Small Magical Girl:** Go be weird with Scary Girl

 **Sweet Bean:**...Tojo-san you’re the Super High School Level Maid, and more than that, our friend, don’t think I didn’t see that comment.

 **Sweet Bean:** and fuck man, Yumeno are you ok? You seem excessively...snappy.

 **Mother Hen:** I appreciate the sentiment, Amami-san. However it is still the truth.

**Lacks Common Sense changed Small Magical Girl to Snappy Beansprout**

**Sweet Bean:** ….

 **Sweet Bean:** Momota read your username

 **Lacks Common Sense:** …yes, and?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I'm so terrified of a child half my size.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** especially one too lazy to _bathe more than once a week_.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Would you rather I turned you into a mouse or a half-eaten mushroom?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** do it then maybe I'll worry.

 **Snappy Beansprout:**...Im out of mana. I’ll do it later

 **Lacks Common Sense:** uh-huh.

 **Innocent Baby:** guys, really? Is it really necessary to go after each other like this?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Seriously, by now that limp-tit blonde is normally calling for us all to be ‘fwiends’ or some shit. The fuck is she doing?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs muted Baby's First Crush** **(DM 3)**

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I still can't believe you changed my name to this, Kokichi.

 **Moronsexual:** I can. It screams ‘Rat Gremlin’

 **Salty Bean:** this chat has taken a very depressing turn.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Yea… maybe the isolation’s finally getting to us

 **Salty Bean:** seems likely. I know I'm the last person likely to suggest a group activity, but what about a movie night or something?

**Innocent Baby unmuted Baby's First Crush**

**Innocent Baby:** that sounds like a great idea! I've heard Disney movies are good at making people smile?

 **Sweet Bean:** FUCK DISNEY I WANT HALLMARK MOVIES

 **Salty Bean:** …..depends on which ones.

 **UwU** **Menace:** i like the fox and the hound :p

 **Moronsexual:** Well… maybe…

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** What’s up, Harukawa?

 **Moronsexual:** >////////<

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Momota, I think she needs some help

 **Lacks Common Sense:** why don't we go pick a few movies together, Harumaki? Start the pile for the night.

 **Moronsexual:** Sure, whatever. Lets just hurry before we’re seen

 **Lacks Common Sense:** sure.

 **Mother Hen:** I will get started on popcorn and other snacks. Any requests?

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Cookies, please

 **Nosy Creep:** I hope asking for some seaweed squares isn’t imposing

 **Mother Hen:** not at all. Cookies and seaweed squares. Anything else?

 **Moronsexual:** I think Kaito likes Oreos?

 **Salty Bean:** will you need help carrying things, Tojo-san?

 **Mother Hen:** I suppose an extra set of hands would not be unappreciated.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** I’ll go get a bunch of blankets from the warehouse

 **In Denial:** We’ll be down in a bit.

 **Sweet Bean:** I’ll go find Gonta then

 **Lacks Common Sense:** He _has_ been really quiet. 

**Arachnophobia:** Soirrry, Gomnta bnawd withj small;l tyuping

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** That makes sense

 **Mother Hen:** Understandable, then

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DM 1 (After Rantaro said that the binge was fun)

 _Amami Rantaro:_ Yo, you’re trustworthy right  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I like to think so?  
_Amami Rantaro:_ Good enough for me, can I come over and see your school map real quick?  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Sure? I’m heading to the game room with Yumeno-chan.  
_Amami Rantaro:_ Lit. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DM 2 (After Shuichi muted Kokichi)

 _Ouma Kokichi:_ youre a fucking asshole I hope you know that  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ You’re pissed at _me_ , so stop being a fucking child and take it out _on me_ .  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ everyone else here expects me to be a child  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ i dont know what you want from me  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ you want me to cry on you? you into that shit?  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ No, I know you well enough to know you’re _not_ a child, which is why I said to _stop acting like you are_. The others might have low expectations but you can’t pull that shit over on me and expect me to believe it. You should know that by now.

_~~~~_

DM 3 (After Iruma is Muted)

 _Iruma Miu:_ The fuck was that for, Poo-ichi?  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ ...that might not have been the best way to go about it, sorry.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ but I literally just spent almost an hour trying to cheer her up, can we please cool it with the insults tonight?  
_Iruma Miu:_ Oh… right....  
_Iruma Miu:_ Sometimes I forget which names go to which faces. Plus… I guess I am a bit of a bitch at times. Kiibo’s trying to help me with that  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I think we all have our moments. Myself included. Thanks Iruma-san. :)  
_Iruma Miu:_ Well Kiibo’s the one pushing me to be nicer cause he for whatever reason thinks I’m a decent person or some shit  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ well I trust Kiibo's judgement on you. He's good at seeing things like that.  
_Iruma Miu:_ Wish I could see some of that in me too…  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ well a little bit is already showing through when Kiibo is involved.  
_Iruma Miu:_ I’m not just gonna sit there while the little rat gremlin treats Kiibo like he’s anything less than amazing… oh god I think I like him  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Noticed, have you ;)  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ but seriously you two make an adorable couple and you're not even officially together yet.  
_Iruma Miu:_ You think he likes me back?  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ remember what your matching names are? Yes, I'm fairly certain he does.  
_Iruma Miu:_ ...Hey, as two fellow stunning people with a couple people chasing after us for attention, how do you let the person you want know you’re interested? Not that I don’t know myself, just curious about your method  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Uhm? I just… told them directly, actually. It went over much better than I thought it would.  
_Iruma Miu:_ That actually worked? Wow, cheesy  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I was surprised too, but then again I did have to have it pointed out that they liked me… so I guess it balances out?

Name List:

Saihara Shuichi: Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs  
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace  
Akamatsu Kaede: Junior Aikido Idiot  
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual  
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense  
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty Bean  
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean  
Chabashira Tenko: Simp for Pretty Girls  
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout  
Yonaga Angie: Snorts Kool-Aid on the Regular  
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen  
K1-B0: Innocent Baby  
Shirogane Tsumugi: Plain Jane Bitch  
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush  
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia  
Shinguji Korekiyo: Nosy Creep


	7. The Ships Shall Sail Today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire: Welcome to the couples chapter. Enjoy the fluff while y'all have it  
> Multi: Kirumi and Kiyo was not a friendship we anticipated, but it is *so cute* now that we have it. Kirumi's banter with Ran still gives me life, to boot.  
> Tango: Kokichi this chapter’s my entire mood, like he’s just....*mood*. And yessssss I just want them all to be friendsssss

**Mother Hen:** I have decided that turnabout is fair play

 **Mother Hen:** I have pictures of Amami-san and Hoshi-san from last night I will distribute upon request.

 **Sweet Bean** : Tojo-san 

**Sweet Bean:** ….

 **Sweet Bean:** Give plz

 **Mother Hen:** but of course. 💜

 **Sweet Bean:** Why thank you 💚

 **Salty Bean:** …….

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** oooh send them to me too, please :D

 **Mother Hen:** certainly

 **Nosy Creep:** I feel like there were quite a few attempts at photos last night. Anyone willing to step forward?

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Shut up

 **Nosy Creep:** I see you’re still upset about yesterday.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot has changed Nosy Creep to Creepy Asshole** **(DM 1)**

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I have some too :)

 **Moronsexual:** Don't you mean your gremlin has some?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Oh did he get some too?

 **UwU Menace:** maybe ;)

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _who_

 **Snappy Beansprout:** _@Simps for Pretty Girls_ You spent the night cuddling Piano Girl. I have pictures of you two

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** When did you take them? You were asleep the whole time

 **Snappy Beansprout:** I pretended to sleep. It was exhausting

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Yeah… well… ok, we cuddled

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** You degenerate males better not get any pervy thoughts hearing that!

 **Sweet Bean:** Don’t worry Chabashira, we’re not.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Nothing pervy, I just think it’s adorable <3

 **Mother Hen:** Who did you get, Saihara-san? I think it’s same to assume Ouma-kun got Harukawa-san and Momota-san

 **Lacks Common Sense:** You’d better share those.

 **Moronsexual:** Why do you want to see pics of us?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** To see your cute face, of course. ❤

 **Moronsexual:** Ugh, why do I like you?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I have no idea but I couldn’t be more grateful you do

 **UwU Menace:** disgusting

 **UwU Menace:** i regret taking those pics

 **Moronsexual:** Then delete them

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** at least send them to me first. Free teasing ammo.

 **Salty Bean:** I knew I should have sat alone.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Whoever took pics of me and Kiibo, fess up

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** :)))))))))

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Should’ve known you would be the one looking for some pity wank material. Send them over, Poo-ichi

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Well since you asked so _nicely_.

 **Innocent Baby:** S-someone took _p-p-p-pictures_?!

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Of course, who wouldn’t want a pic of me on their phone. And now that we’re… y’know… everyone’s gotta be disappointed that the Tech Goddess Iruma is off the market. Sucks to be them and all

 **Moronsexual:** Run out of steam there, or does thinking about Kiibo make you that weak in the knees?

 **Innocent Baby:** Well when you put it that way, I definitely want to see them. I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend without an excess of pictures of my angel <3

 **Baby’s First Crush:** EEEEK… Yeah. B-B-Boyf-f-friend

 **Moronsexual:** Ugh, please don’t make a mess in the hallways

 **Lacks Common Sense:** In all seriousness, guys, we should do that again sometime. We didn’t even make it through the pile!

 **UwU Meanace:** yeaaaa

 **UwU Menace:** next time lets play MORE animal movies period your girlfriend seemed to reeaaaaally enjoy them

 **Moronsexual:** Shut it before I crush your fingers

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Oh like you wouldn’t enjoy another night wrapped around your boyfriend like a koala.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Yea that was adorable

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Almost as cute as Chabashira cuddling you, Akamatsu

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Something tells me you really want those two together

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Yumeno, I’m sorry

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Jesus, Beansprout, chill it already! The point has been made no need to continue being a bitch

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** HEY! Don’t yell at her like that!

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Annnnd it’s starting up again…

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Maybe I don’t, but she’s being out of line. You don’t deserve the continued attitude, Chabashira.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** I’ve dealt with far worse than this from tons of males

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Doesn’t make it _right_.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** You’re telling me, degenerate

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Ah, gotta love the _“accepting”_ assholes…

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I’m not sure how to feel about that statement.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Huh?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** What was that supposed to mean?

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Was just trying to sympathize with Tenko

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ….alright, if you say so.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Sorry for making you think I meant you

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Yea. You’re mostly decent, Momota

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Haha, thanks!

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** sorry for the topic change but I just looked at the pictures Tojo-san sent. You really have an eye for this sort of thing!

 **Mother Hen:** Thank you, I am rather proud of them myself.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Oh, Ryoma looks cute in this one.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** And Kiibo is precious with Iruma on his lap

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Shut it, nerd. He was warm, that's all

 **Innocent Baby:** ...I am..?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Duh, thats why I said it, Kii-boy

 **Innocent Baby:** If you say so Miu… er. Is it alright for me to call you that?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Sure. That’s the _only_ reason you said that.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** No shit, Poo-ichi. Go back to your rat boyfriend

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** couldn't _possibly_ just be an excuse to cuddle with your crush/now boyfriend, could it?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Also _still not dating_.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Suuuuure, and how do you feel about Ka-idiot getting touchy feely with Judo Bitch?

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** You. Your Neck. Piano Wire.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** doesn’t really bother me? As long as Kaede is happy, so am I.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Oh **(DM 2)**

 **UwU Menace:** how does one convey the emotions of bitch the fuck and a slow blink in words 

**Lacks Common Sense:** I would assume something like that? Why?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ……...That’s not what I meant. I trust Kaede that nothing romantic is going on. That’s all.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Right, totally

 **Sweet Bean:** There was a very very loud groan from the boys side of the dorms...can’t tell if it was like a disappointed groan or what but that...was a noise. 

**Baby’s First Crush:** Sounds like someone is a little pent up

 **Sweet Bean:** Iruma why is that your first thought

 **UwU Menace:** that was my noise

 **UwU Menace:** on an unrelated note im putting out a bounty on my own head

 **UwU Menace:** 3 million yen for one ouma kokichi dead or dead 

**Moronsexual:** Where do I go for my payment?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** oh my god you’re a drama queen. Open your door please? **(DM 3,4)**

 **UwU Menace:** if i make it out of this alive the money is in my closet

 **UwU Menace:** doors open uwu

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _It’s a robbery I’m stealing your money_.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Kidding.

 **Moronsexual:** Out of my way, Saihara. That bounty needs to be collected

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** touch him and there’ll be a double body discovery :)

 **Lacks Common Sense:** C’mon, Harumaki. You’re better than that. Come back to my room

 **Moronsexual:** ….whatever. Keep your gremlin

 **UwU Menace:** _sigh_ guess i live another day 

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Guess things are back to normal now

 **Mother Hen:** It appears so.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** That was the plan.

 **Baby’s FIrst Crush:** If anyone loses power to their room, ignore that

 **Salty Bean:** Don’t tell me the robot can short circuit the dorms.

 **Baby’s FIrst Crush:** With my help yes, but that's not what's going on. I’m just working on some inventions and had to reroute some power to the lab

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Where did you take that power from?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Hell if I know, Costume Bitch. Why, you scared of the dark?

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Just…. Worried about something going wrong

 **Salty Bean:** It’s Iruma. She may be stupid but she’s not _that_ stupid.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** The fuck you calling stupid, Small Shit?

 **Salty Bean:** You. I wasn’t aware you suddenly stopped being able to read.

 **Sweet Bean:** Hey… did anyone else just see Akamatsu sprint over to Chabashira’s room and drag her away?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Uh. Guys how do I reset a person…?

 **UwU Menace:** snsjskskossosokzkxjxndndjdjdjdeejeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Moronsexual:** Oh God you somehow made him MORE annoying…

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _I wasn’t trying to!!!!_

 **Baby’s First Crush:**...whatever, Tennis Guy. Hey Poo-ichi, you ok with your girlfriend sneaking off to do you know what with Judo Girl?

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** We’re just playing piano! Well, she’s playing piano.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I sincerely doubt that’s what they’re doing, Iruma-san. Kaede prefers to express emotions through playing the piano.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** By the way, Chabashira?

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Yes, Saihara?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Don’t break her heart.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** I would never act like some degenerate and do that. Don’t worry.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Good, then we’re on the same page. Now can someone please help me fix Kokichi? He broke and I don’t know why.

 **Moronsexual:** Wait… did you and Akamatsu break up?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** something like that.

 **Moronsexual:** I see… I'm sorry to hear that, Saihara

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** thank you, Harukawa-san, but you don’t need to be. We both realized there was someone else we had stronger feelings for than each other.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Ok, I think something’s actually wrong with the rat. He walked by my lab, saw Kiibo on the table, and didn’t even comment

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** oh is that where he went?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** What’d you do, Shuichi? Kiss him?

 **Moronsexual:**...he’s gone quiet

 **UwU Menace:** h e k i s s e d m e

 **Moronsexual:** Whelp, there’s no coming back from that. Looks like Saihara is fully infected with Gremlin

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** yes, I kissed him. And now if he’ll hold still for five seconds, I _want_ to ask him out.

 **UwU Menace:** you what

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** yes you read that correctly now _hold the fuck still so I can catch up with you_.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** HAH! That's what she said

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** don’t you have a boyfriend to tend to.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** I’m busy upgrading his legs right now

 **Lacks Common Sense:** and Kiibo’s okay with this?

 **Innocent Baby:** It makes her happy, and she asked permission first this time, so I don’t mind.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Your father did some great work with you but he clearly never finished your legs cause they click a lot and just barely can hold your weight

 **Innocent Baby:** I did notice the clicking. I imagine he was planning upgrades when I was brought here.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Well he’ll be glad to hear the Great Iruma Miu is dating his son and doing work on him

 **Innocent Baby:** I’m sure he will :D

 **Salty Baby:** wow this is sweet and all but can we keep the pillow talk to the dms?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Why not get your boyfriend to say some?

 **Salty Bean:** the fuck are you on about this time? The circuitry going to your head?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** S-Sorry, Ryoma

 **Innocent Baby:** Hey! Leave her alone!

 **Salty Bean:** or what.

 **Sweet Bean:** Come on Hoshi, leave it be. Please?

 **Salty Bean:** why should I.

 **Sweet Bean:** Because if we’re gonna be here for who knows how long then its best we don’t have petty fights. I know she insulted you, Iruma not cool. But just let it be. 

**Baby’s First Crush:** Wait when did I insult him today?

 **Moronsexual:** Saying “Today” doesn’t help your case

 **Moronsexual:** Also, you called him “Small Shit”

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Oh yea…. That was pretty tame of me. Maybe Kiibo’s rubbing off on me

 **Salty Bean:** yes, because I’m so thin-skinned that my height being made fun of still upsets me.

 **Sweet Bean:** Ok then why are you going after her? 

**Salty Bean:** None of your fucking business

**Salty Bean is offline**

**Sweet Bean:** The fuck man

**Sweet Bean is offline**

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …..trouble in paradise?

 **Moronsexual:** Doesn’t seem like paradise to me

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** No, no it does not. Just wasn’t sure how else to follow that up.

 **Lack Common Sense:** well, good luck to Amami getting anything out of Hoshi

 **Moronsexual:** Right, sorry. So how’s the rat doing?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** well he still hasn’t answered my question.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** but he’s smiling so wide I'm genuinely worried his face will crack? Which I think might be a good sign?

 **Moronsexual:** Oh great

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Good morning, everyone

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Um… it’s the afternoon. Tojo’s working on lunch right now

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Nyeh? That’s weird, I don’t usually get to nap that long here

 **Lacks Common Sense:** You were… napping?

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Yea? Yelling at Tenko took a lot of mana so I fell asleep

 **Lacks Common Sense:** …...well alright then…

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Speaking of, she’s being quiet. Guess it’s training time, though usually she bugs me about joining

 **Baby’s First Crush:** That’s cause she’s busy making out with Piano Girl

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _Iruma._ Kaede’s probably still playing _piano_.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Huh, didn’t know she could play

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...she’s the Ultimate Pianist… what did you _think_ she did???

 **Snappy Beansprout:** I didn’t know and was too nervous to ask

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...alright then.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Wonder how flexible Judo Girl is

 **Innocent Baby:** _Miu!_

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Right! Your legs first

 **Innocent Baby:** yes please.

 **Arachnophobia:** Comme help! Gomntaa see CPR in piano room!

 **Baby’s First Crush:** I KNEW IT!

 **Lacks Common Sense:** well damn, they both moved on quickly.

 **Mother Hen:** what is going on? Why is Gokuhara-san yelling about CPR?

 **Creepy Asshole:** If I had to guess, Akamatsu and Chabashira have gotten to work on their relations.

 **Moronsexual:** Geez, Monokuma really needs to fix that door so we don’t have to watch

 **Mother Hen:** ...did you not walk to the door after hearing Gokuhara-san yell? There was going to be a chance.

 **Creepy Asshole:** You had already ran off before I could say anything. To be frank, I was more surprised that Gokuhara knew what CPR is.

 **Mother Hen:** I…

 **Mother Hen:** I suppose this is what happens when I don't pay attention to the chat. The pair of them are fine. I really did not need to see either of them engaged in such an act.

 **Creepy Asshole:** I’m sure they didn’t even notice you. Now, I believe lunch is ready to be served, Kirumi.

 **Mother Hen:** Yes. Yes it is. Would someone mind alerting the two lovebirds?

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Sure, I’ll be right down with them

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** Um…. well this is awkward >/////////////<

 **UwU Menace:** soooooooo no ones gonna mention mr creep using moms name question mark

 **Mother Hen:** mildly awkward, but I suppose such happens in a new relationship. Assuming that is what that is?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Indeed.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Just make sure to use a room that locks if you want to go to second base. Unless you virgins enjoy being watched

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I suspect that might be something _Kiibo_ should worry about.

 **Innocent Baby:** ...being watched? Being watched doing what?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Doing…. Nevermind, don’t mind me

 **Moronsexual:** Way ahead of you, Tech Girl

 **Innocent Baby:** ?????

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** you'll understand when you're older Kiibo.

 **Innocent Baby:** I'm the same age as the rest of you _what aren't you telling me_?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** I know you are, it’s just… goddamn it I feel so fucking weird and shit talking about this crap with you. The hell is wrong with me?

**Innocent Baby has changed Innocent Baby to Miu’s Loving Boyfriend.**

**Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** It’s okay Miu. I realize it’s an awkward subject so you don’t need to feel pressured to talk about it. I just get a bit… frustrated, being treated like a child, but honestly? I’ll take it over being treated like an object.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I’m sorry Kiibo. I didn’t think about it like that.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** It’s alright, Saihara-san. I apologise for getting upset over this...

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Nonono, don’t be sorry. It’s perfectly normal to feel upset by being treated differently. It’s completely valid for you to feel like that, you don’t have to apologise.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** I just don’t understand why I can’t talk lewd shit to you when it’s so fuckin easy to with anyone else

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Maybe it will become easier with time?

 **Mother Hen:** perhaps it’s the romantic aspect of your relationship?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Ughhhhhhhhh

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ...how do you mean, Tojo-san?

 **Mother Hen:** I believe Iruma-san is hesitant to speak with you the way she normally might because she feels differently _for you_ than anyone else in our group. Fear of ruining relationships is a real and powerful thing.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** What are you, my fuckin therapist?

 **Mother Hen:** if that is the capacity in which my services are required, I can serve as one.

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** You don’t have to be so formal, Tojo. You’re our friend, not our servant

 **Junior Aikido Idiot:** As for you Miu, something tells me you’ve never had anyone get close to you so your defenses don’t know what to do

**Baby’s First Crush changed Junior Aikido Idiot to Piano Fucker**

**Piano Fucker:** … I think I’m right

 **Mother Hen:** My apologies. I will…. Attempt to adjust the way I speak if it makes anyone uncomfortable.

 **Mother Hen:** Judging by the angry nickname change, I believe you are.

 **Piano Fucker:** Sorry, wasn’t clear. It’s not that I dislike how you speak, _I kinda like it…_ I just meant we like you cause you’re our friend, not our maid. You don’t need to tend to our every need while yours are ignored

 **Mother Hen:** I see. I understand your concern. However, it truly does bring me happiness to see everyone else happy.

 **Piano Fucker:** Well if you’re sure… say, does anyone know how to cut hair?

 **Mother Hen:** Nothing fancy, but it depends on what you’re looking for?

 **Piano Fucker:** I’ll send you a picture of what I’m thinking

 **Creepy Asshole:** Now I’m curious. Why the need for secrecy?

 **Piano Fucker:** Shut it

 **Mother Hen:** ….I believe Hoshi-san has a style similar to this? Perhaps he may be able to assist as well?

 **Piano Fucker:** Alright, _@Salty Bean_ Hey you still there?

 **Salty Bean:** Reluctantly.

 **Salty Bean:** What is it?

 **Piano Fucker:** Well I’m looking to do something with my hair and you kinda do something similar so I was curious if you could help me with it

 **Salty Bean:** ……

 **Salty Bean:** I could try? Do you have pictures of what you’re looking for?

 **Piano Fucker:** Thanks, Hoshi! I’m sending them over now

 **Salty Bean:** Hm. Yeah that’s doable. Let me see if there’s anything useful in the warehouse for that.

 **Piano Fucker:** Alright, let’s go. Might give us a chance to get to know each other, I feel bad for never doing so

 **Salty Bean:** Eh, you shouldn’t. It’s not like I made myself very approachable.

 **Piano Fucker:** Still, I even got to know Kore-creepo more than I did you

 **Salty Bean:** It’s fine

 **Salty Bean:** Really.

 **Piano Fucker:** Right, sorry

**Piano Fucker is offline**

**Salty Bean is offline**

**Creepy Asshole:** Hm

 **Mother Hen:** ???

 **Creepy Asshole:** Oh it’s nothing, Kirumi. Don’t worry yourself.

 **Mother Hen:** ...if you insist.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Not that I ever thought I’d agree with the Gremlin, but he had a point. Are we not gonna talk about Shinguji using Tojo’s first name and her being fine with it?

 **Creepy Asshole:** Are you all ever going to talk about how you call her “Mom”?

 **Snappy Beansprout:** That’s cause she acts like our mommy

 **Baby’s First Crush:** No way, she doesn’t drink enough to be a mom

 **Mother Hen:** ….there is…. A lot to unpack in that statement, Iruma-san.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** The fuck does that mean?

 **Mother Hen:** It’s nothing. Nevermind.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** …..I mean. You do kinda have that maternal air, Tojo. Especially if maybe someone doesn’t have a stable maternal figure.

 **Mother Hen:** I see.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Yea, sometimes I even find myself wanting to be plainly tucked into bed by you

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** do you… not want us to call you that?

 **Mother Hen:** I would encourage you all to address me however feels most comfortable for you.

 **Moronsexual:** Well what’s comfortable for you?

 **Mother Hen:** …..

 **Mother Hen:** My wants are irrelevant. My purpose is to serve.

 **Moronsexual:** Yea, no. Your wants matter too. Just because you spent your whole life being taught to act a certain way and behave how someone wanted doesn't mean shit here. You’re your own person

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Geez, you’re starting to sound like the Space Idiot

 **Moronsexual:** ….he’s my idiot. Only I get to call him that

 **Mother Hen:** it’s.. I…

 **Mother Hen:** …...

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ...Tojo-san, if us calling you that makes you uncomfortable, please tell us. We don’t want to make you uncomfortable interacting with us.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** If Kaede was here, she’d be saying the same thing

 **Creepy Asshole:** I believe we should give her a minute to process everything. **(DM5)**

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Of course. Sorry, Tojo

 **Mother Hen:** It is… alright. I just… need a moment, I think.

**Mother Hen is offline**

**Snappy Beansprout:** Nyeh, she needs to sleep more

 **Piano Fucker:** I’m back everyone. Check out what Hoshi did for me!

 **Piano Fucker:**

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** FAHSKLHFJAF

**Simps for Pretty Girls has changed Piano Fucker to Undercut Goddess**

**Simps for Pretty Girls is offline**

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Holy _shit_.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (After Kaede changes Kiyo’s name)

 _Tojo Kirumi:_ Are you alright?  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ I am fine, of course. Merely words from a scorned individual.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ yes of course, but words _can_ hurt, whether intended or not.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ It appears last night’s lecture is continuing. I did not intend to harm Akamatsu with what I said, and she is clearly in no state to accept an apology from me.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ My apologies for not being more clear. I am worried about _you_ , not Akamatsu.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ You need not worry for me. I am familiar with being an outsider in a group. Her words are just that, words.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ If you insist. However I am afraid worry is unavoidable for my part.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ Ah yes, the troubles of an Ultimate Maid.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ The troubles of a _friend_ , as well.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ Oh. I see. Well that was an unexpected outcome of this.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I apologise if that was not your intended outcome, but I firmly believe that everyone deserves to have someone that cares for their wellbeing without malice or ulterior motives.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ you…. You sound like sister sometimes  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I apologise if that brings up any unpleasant memories….  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ No, I only have two unpleasant memories of her and you brought forth neither.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I’m glad, then. Will you tell me about your sister? It’s clear she means a great deal to you.  
_Shinguji:_ She… she was very caring. Never been closer to anyone else, even after she left this world.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I am sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful person.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ Worry not, Tojo. Sister is always with me. Thank you for your kind words though.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ Of course. The ones we love never truly leave us so long as we remember them, I suppose.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ That is a way to see it. Regardless, I appreciate you taking time to talk with me.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ You’re welcome. You are very pleasant to talk to.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 2 (After Kaede says “Oh” to Shuichi)

 _Akamatsu Kaede:_ You mean it? You’re ok with me and Tenko?  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ ...I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if I wasn’t, considering that my interactions with Kokichi are… clearly assumed to be romantic.  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Hey Shuichi… do you have feelings for him? I promise I won’t have a problem with however you answer, just curious considering… the last few days  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ In all honesty… yes.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ What about you for Tenko?  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Yea, pretty much since we all first met. Just never acted on it because of her and Yumeno  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ So I _was_ right. About your crush.  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Yea… just didn’t want to let everyone know about me being bi  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ That’s understandable. Same boat and all.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ do you…. Would you… I mean.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Ugh. Words hard.  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Mood. Is this… the end?  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ ….I… are you interested in pursuing something with Tenko? Is what I was trying to ask.  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Yes, but I still care about you. I don’t want to lose you but… I hate hiding half of me  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ You’re still my closest friend. I can’t imagine a breakup will change that.  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ I want to believe that, Shuichi. But let’s just say there’s a reason I buried myself in piano  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ ….oh?  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ There aren’t many people in my life who were accepting of me being Bi. Lost some friends and… a girlfriend  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I’m sorry people you cared about were like that, Kaede. But you don’t have to worry about that from me. I don’t know what I am but it’s definitely not entirely straight.  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Thanks… I’m glad we dated. Hope things with Kokichi work out for you  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I hope things work out with you and Tenko too.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 3 (Following the conversation with Kaede/Shuichi going to Kokichi’s room)

 _Saihara Shuichi:_ hey.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ hey yourself :p  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ What was with the yell..?  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ dont worry about it :)  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ So I talked to Kaede. I think you might be interested in the results of that conversation.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ oh question mark  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I think it will be easier to show you.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ now im intriheuejjsklls  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ :)  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ ….Kokichi…?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DM 4 (Following Kaede’s conversation with Shuichi)

 _Akamatsu Kaede:_ Hey Tenko?  
_Chabashira Tenko:_ Hi Kaede!  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ So… sorry this is a little awkward. I know you’re probably still just interested in Yumeno but… would you be willing to consider going out with me? I can play you a song if that helps?  
_Chabashira Tenko:_ Yumeno-chan...I think we’ve all known for a while she doesn’t like me all too well. I guess I’ve just been a bit, slow on the uptake.  
_Chabashira Tenko:_ But I've come to terms with it and would be honored to go out with you Kaede!  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Oh, really? You don’t mind me being Bi and dating a guy before now?  
_Chabashira Tenko:_ Yeah! And no I don’t mind you being bi, and saihara is… a good male I guess.  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Great!  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Be right back, gotta run to my lab and play something before I get too overly excited and energetic  
_Chabashira Tenko:_ Could I come and listen to you play?  
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ I’d love to play for you! 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 5 (shortly after Kiyo says to give Kirumi time to process)

 _Tojo Kirumi:_ Thank you.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ Of course, Kirumi. Are you doing ok?  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I… will be. Eventually.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ Apologies. That isn’t what you were asking, was it?  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ Currently? Not really.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ I see. Admittedly, I am not the best at comforting people but I’d like to try.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ You seem unable to express yourself, trapped even by your upbringing.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ Kirumi?  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ My apologies.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ your assessment is correct. My entire life has revolved around serving others.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ It does not really leave time for oneself.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ I see. So would it be safe to assume from the moment you could walk, you were molded into a maid?  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ Yes.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ Yet another fragment of humanity’s ugliness. I’m sure sister would feel disappointment for your treatment.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I cannot say I regret it, as it is all I have ever known.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ Also, were it not for that, I may never have met any of you, and I can never regret that.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ Suppose that is an optimistic way of looking at your past. Meeting you has certainly been a rewarding experience.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I… thank you  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ That is very reassuring to hear.  
_Shinguji Korekiyo:_ Glad to help.

###  **///////Chapter Seven End\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

Name List

Saihara Shuichi: Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs  
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace  
Akamatsu Kaede: Undercut Goddess  
Chabashira Tenko: Simps for Pretty Girls  
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush  
K1-B0: Miu’s Loving Boyfriend  
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia  
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual  
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense  
Shirogane Tsumugi: Plain Jane Bitch  
Yonaga Angie: Snorts KoolAid on the Regular  
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout  
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean  
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty Bean  
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen  
Shinguji Korekiyo: Creepy Asshole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The image of Kaede came from a wonderful inaccurate quotes tumblr blog. Check them out  
> https://terribleincorrectdanganronpa.tumblr.com/post/637987066606747648/what-if-kaede-but-an-undercut


	8. A Sinking Feeling? That's Just Monokuma Killing God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire: Welcome to the first chapter in the Pain Trilogy. Today will be an appetizer full of answering a heavy question then discussing if there's anyone watching out for us
> 
> Tango: Fire ilysm this chapter name is <3, also god this chapter is a l l over the place, was v v fun to write my characters in some new emotions :DDD
> 
> Multi: Oh this chapter is f u n. Please mind the new tags, however!

**Sweet Bean:** Hey guys does anyone know where Hoshi is, I’ve been trying to find him for a while….

 **Undercut Goddess:** I saw him last night when he gave me a haircut. Afterwards he said he was going for a walk

**Monokuma has joined the chat**

**Monokuma:** upupupupu… did I hear someone ask about the tiny tennis player..?

 **Sweet Bean:**...Fuck

 **Sweet Bean:** Bear what did you do

 **Monokuma:** Upupupupu… he’s alive. For now.

**Monomuma has sent proofoflife.jpg**

**Arachnophobia:** WHERE SMALL FRIENMD?

**Sweet Bean is offline**

**Creepy Asshole:** I take it you want something from us, bear. Besides a murder of course.

 **UwU Menace:** ooooooo whats the new motive 

**Monkuma:** The new motive….. Upupupupu this one is _fun_.

 **Monokuma:** The new motive is… if the blackened gets away with their crime… _they get to leave with one other person of their choice_.

 **Monokuma:** Besides the one they kill, of course.

 **Undercut Goddess:** We already told you, we aren’t playing your games

 **Monokuma:** We haven’t even gotten to my favorite part, yet.

 **Monokuma:** @everyone has to name the one person they would choose if it were to be them. In chat.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Or what?

 **Monokuma:** Well that’s simple.

 **Monokuma:** if anyone refuses…

 **Monokuma:** my captive will meet an _untimely end_.

 **Monokuma:** Streamed live, of course, so everyone can watch. Just in a location no one can get to.

 **Monokuma:** Oh. Same goes if anyone tries to rescue him before the game is over. @Sweet Bean I see you.

 **Sweet Bean:** You’ll see the end of your days in a place worse than hell, the day your cursed existence leaves this earth will be celebrated.

 **Monokuma:** Eh. Heard worse from better. So why don’t you start us off?

 **Sweet Bean:** I’m not killing anyone

 **Monokuma:** That’s not the _game_ . Although….. I wonder if you would be persuaded otherwise if his life was forfeit if you _didn’t_ ….

 **Monokuma:** Next time maybe.

 **Monokuma:** No, the _game_ is _you_ have to name who you would choose to _spare_ if you, as the blackened, _got away with your crime_.

 **Sweet Bean:** youreafuckingasshole I...yeah I’m picking Hoshi, I’m sorry everyone.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** We understand. You two are important to each other, I’m sure

 **Monokuma:** aaaawh, true love

 **Monokuma:** disgusting.

 **Monokuma:** Next.

 **Moronsexual:** I’ll go since I’m sure everyone knows who I’d take. Kaito

 **UwU Menace:** not surprising 

**UwU Menace:** shuichi uwu :)

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ……

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Maki for me, obviously. But I refuse to kill anyone, anyway.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** I… don’t want to play, but I can’t condemn Hoshi-san to death either.

 **Miu’s loving Boyfriend:** I suppose it’s obvious. Miu.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** oh? I mean.. of course you would, why wouldn’t you…

 **Monokuma:** See? It’s not that hard. Just say a name. Next.

 **Creepy Asshole:** I wouldn’t mind escaping with Kirumi. She’s like a sister to me.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ……

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** you’re a disgusting excuse for a sentient being, Monokuma.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …...Kokichi. I’m sorry Kaede.

 **Undercut Goddess:** I understand….

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Oh shit, should probably say my person. Kiibo

 **Mother Hen:** What sick pleasure are you deriving from making us do this.

 **Monokuma:** oh the same as always.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** And once we all give a name, you’ll let Hoshi-san go? Alive and unharmed?

 **Monokuma:** With all four limbs and all senses intact.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** I’ll be plain honest, I’m having a hard time choosing since I haven’t really gotten close to any of you… I suppose Yonaga

 **Monokuma:** how touching. Being forced to choose between a friend and a lover… how on earth do you do it?

 **Arachnophobia:** Gonta not know. All friends wonderful

 **Monokuma:** flip a coin, do eeny meeny money mo

 **Monokuma:** but you have to pick or someone will _definitely_ die.

 **Monokuma:** and every time I have to call @Sweet Bean out I’m going to throw a knife at his prison. That’s two.

 **Sweet Bean:** I already fucking answered you sick bastard.

 **Monokuma:** I said no rescues until the game is _done_.

 **Sweet Bean:** I just want to know where he is

 **Monokuma:** He’s _going_ to be at the bottom of the pool if you keep testing my patience.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** We have a pool?

 **Monokuma:** Do we?

 **Sweet Bean:** Fine

 **Snappy Beansprout:** I’ll take Yonaga

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** What!?!

 **Snorts Kool-Aid on the Regular:** Atua thanks you for your devotion! For that I will have to answer with Yumeno.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Thanks, Atua

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** How the hell did you _catch_ him, even?

 **Monokuma:** ooh, a fun question, too!

 **Monokuma:** He volunteered, actually.

 **Sweet Bean:** what

 **Undercut Goddess:** Huh? But he seemed in a good mood after we hung out….

 **Monokuma:** Well. He didn’t necessarily know what he was volunteering _for_. But volunteer he did.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** You’re a piece of shit!

 **Monokuma:** Fight all you want, it’s down to _the final four_. @Mother Hen @Arachnaphobia @Simps for Pretty Girls @Undercut Goddess Time to choose!

 **Arachnophobia:** Um… Gonta pick Tojo?

 **Mother Hen:** I….

 **Mother Hen:** I don’t know who I would choose.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:**...I gotta pick Kaede

 **Monokuma:** two down, two to go!

 **Undercut Goddess:** I….I can’t....

 **Monokuma:** tick-tock, tick-tock… time is running out.

 **Undercut Goddess:**...I’m sorry, Shuichi. I choose Tenko

 **Undercut Goddess:** But I swear this, Monokuma. I will not let you win

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I understand, Kaede. I picked Kokichi, remember? I don’t blame you one bit.

 **Mother Hen:** ...time is running out for _what_.

 **Monokuma:** _before I get bored and kill him anyway_

 **Mother Hen:** You wouldn’t.

 **Monokuma:** You’re the last one to play.

 **Mother Hen:** …………

 **Mother Hen:** ….Shinguji.

 **Creepy Asshole:** I am surprised yet honored.

 **Monokuma:** Well that was fun, wasn’t it?

 **Moronsexual:** Screw you

 **Monokuma:** oh is that an offer? Kinky~

 **Sweet Bean:** w h e r e i s H o s h i 

**Baby’s First Crush:** His Monopad is still offline

 **Monokuma:** Oh his Monopad is in his room. So that won’t help you.

 **Undercut Goddess:** I’m not seeing him on the second floor

**Monokuma has sent locker.jpg**

**Monokuma:** Hurry Hurry.

 **Sweet Bean:** Son of a bitch

**Sweet Bean is offline**

**Snappy Beansprout:** Nyeh? Why is he running outside?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I don’t know but I’m following him. He might need help whatever he’s doing.

 **Moronsexual:** I’m coming too in case we run into trouble

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...that’s… oh shit is that Hoshi yelling I’m hearing?!

 **Monokuma:** upupupupu...will you get to him in time? ...I wonder…

 **Undercut Goddess:** I can’t even understand…

 **Moronsexual:** Alright, we’re through the vines

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** What’s going on? Did you guys find him? Is he alright?

 **Moronsexual:** Amami and Saihara just jumped into the pool, which honestly needs a lot more water

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I’m headed that way now.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Is Hoshi ok, Amami?

 **Sweet Bean:** A little shaken up but at least he’s alive

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** should probably change before he catches a cold, though. That water isn’t exactly _warm_.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Tojo, could you make him some soup?

 **Mother Hen:** certainly.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ….not that I’m not grateful he’s alright, but how did you know where to go so quickly, Amami-san?

 **Sweet Bean:**...I’ll tell you once I’m sure Ryoma’s ok

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Fair enough.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Well, at least it was Short Shit in that locker. The rest of us would’ve made the locker sink more

 **Sweet Bean:** Iruma, if you value your existence, stay away from my room today

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Fine, whatever

 **Lacks Common Sense:** okay but…

 **Lacks Common Sense:** did he _really_ volunteer for that?!

 **Sweet Bean:** Does it matter?

 **Sweet Bean:** Sorry, he snatched my Monopad

 **Sweet Bean:** damn right I did. Someone's being grumpy. I thought that was my shtick.

 **Sweet Bean:** anyway, volunteered? Is that what he said that was?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** it is.

 **Sweet Bean:** yeah no. He popped up when I was on my walk last night, and started trying to ask me some stupid hypothetical question. I told him to fuck off, and then, next thing I know I woke up in that locker.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Shit, I should’ve gone with you on your walk…

 **Sweet Bean:** No. Because if he'd gotten both of us you might have been in real trouble.

 **Sweet Bean:** Iruma's right. It was a good thing it was me.

 **Sweet Bean:** Ok, Ryoma’s clearly still in a dark mood

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** why don’t I go get _Hoshi-san’s_ Monopad for him so he stops threatening to bite you, Amami-san….

 **Sweet Bean:** He’s not a biter, but that’d still be appreciated

**Salty Bean is online**

**Salty Bean:** Thank you. I have a bit of a disadvantage against worrywart avocado here.

 **Salty Bean:** Dark mood or not, she’s still right. I’m small and light. It stayed afloat as long as it did because of that. That’s not depression talking, that’s the truth.

 **Sweet Bean:** Alright… you probably all want to know how I found him so quickly

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Yea, it seemed like you knew already

 **Sweet Bean:** Well, I did. For some reason my Monopad has a map of the whole school

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** the… whole school? You mean, even places we can’t access?

 **Sweet Bean:** Yup. There are six floors, with the top one being just Momota’s research lab

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** That must be what those stairs Yumeno-chan found were to.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** it also explains why Monokuma kept calling _you_ out, but not me and Kokichi for helping. He must know yours is different.

 **Sweet Bean:** So yea, that’s how I knew Ryoma’s location

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** I hate to be the one to point it out, but this seems awfully convenient…

 **Lacks Common Sense:** how so?

 **Miu’s loving Boyfriend:** Amami-san’s map is different. Monokuma knows this. And he chose to take hostage the one person out of all of us Amami-san openly cares for the most.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** I have no idea what his goal was but it seems very clear who he was after with this whole thing.

 **Sweet Bean:** Great, first he takes my memories then he takes my man

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Clearly there’s _something_ you know that Monokuma considers dangerous. We just need to find out what.

 **Salty Bean:** …….your what now

 **Sweet Bean:** My man

 **Undercut Goddess:** Awwwwwww

 **Salty Bean:** were you planning on asking me about this or just making that decision on your own.

 **Sweet Bean:** Figured it’d come up at some point and you’d tell me to stop if you didn’t like it

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Lovers spat later please? :P

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...Amami-san… does your map show a hidden door in the library by chance?

 **Sweet Bean:** ….no, the map doesn’t say anything about that door

 **Sweet Bean:** Alright, Ryoma. I’ll stop calling you that. Sorry **(DM 1)**

 **Salty Bean:** I don’t… _hate_ it? Just caught me off guard, that’s all.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** there’s a hidden door in the library?

 **Sweet Bean:** Hey Momota, you wanna try breaking down the door blocking the stairs to your lab? **(DM 2)**

 **Lacks Common Sense:** alright, alright, I can take a hint. Sheesh. Hey Gonta, wanna help knock down that door?

 **Arachnophobia:** Gontra not srue. Gentrlemen not desrory property without reason

 **Lacks Common Sense:** It’ll prevent anyone else from getting trapped there like Yumeno-chan did?

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Nyeh, that was scary

 **Arachnophobia:** Oh sure. That make sense. Gonta help thren

 **Mother Hen:** And you have no idea _why_ your map is different? Most of our amnesia seems to have cleared up. It’s odd yours hasn’t.

 **Sweet Bean:** Sadly my Monopad doesn’t have the answer to that

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Not a single clue? Then why is Monokuma so determined to go after you..?

 **Sweet Bean:** How do we know he was targeting me?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** We don’t, not for sure. But we also can’t rule out that as a possibility, either.

 **Sweet Bean:** Then maybe he just saw my map as an opportunity to turn everyone against me

 **Salty Bean:** Ran, calm down. No one’s turning against anyone, we’re all just a bit shaken up from today. You included.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** What Hoshi-san said. Minus the nickname, I think. For all we know Hoshi-san was just the first person Monokuma came across alone, and it wasn’t planned at all. We don’t know either way, and I sincerely doubt he’ll tell us the truth if we ask.

 **Sweet Bean:** Guess you’re right, Saihara. Must’ve let Monokuma rile me up too much

 **Undercut Goddess:** Either way, glad you’re safe Hoshi. Was really worried there

 **Salty Bean:** Thanks Akamatsu.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Is no one else going to comment on Hoshi-san using a nickname for Amami-san?

 **Salty Bean:** ….I did what?

 **Salty Bean:** …. _oh_. I- uh.

 **Sweet Bean:** Great, lets move on

 **Undercut Goddess:** Hey Miu, how goes that favor I asked?/

 **Baby’s First Crush:** That small thing? Just about done then you’ll be ready

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ????

 **Undercut Goddess:** Awesome! You’re the best, Miu

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Well what do ya know? One of you morons finally recognizes my brilliance

 **Creepy Asshole:** That might have been a mistake to do, Akamatsu. If her head gets any bigger, she might never shut her mouth.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Not letting you bring me down. C’mon, Tenko, let’s go to the piano room

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** You know, there are _dorm rooms_ available for more private makeout sessions.

 **Undercut Goddess:** I promise that won’t happen again. Just want to play her something 

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** On my way, Kaede!

 **Creepy Asshole:** Ah, young love. What a wondrous sight.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Wow, I make a comment about makeouts and he doesn’t even make a peep. Impressive.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** If you want to flirt with Kokichi, go find him?

 **Moronsexual:** Speaking of the gremlin, I think he did something to my room cause I’m hearing piano music

 **Snappy Beansprout:** You too? I thought my magical hearing was doing that

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...not sure what he could have done to make that happen, if anything.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** That crotch goblin? As if, this was done by yours truly, the greatest inventor in the world.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Kae-idiot came up to me and asked me to break into the intercom system so she could play piano and let the entire school hear it. Was nothing for me

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Sure, as long as that’s _all_ we overhear.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** It’s controlled by the piano freak’s Monopad so she just has to turn off the mic before getting freaky

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Hopefully she remembers, or she’s going to be getting a lot of angry messages.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** yeah, as much as I love listening to her play, I’m happier not hearing anything between her and Chabashira as it happens.

 **Undercut Goddess:** I promise you will never have to hear that. Tenko and I will never do anything like that in this room

 **Moronsexual:** Just make sure Ouma doesn’t get your Monopad. I don’t want to know what he’d do with this system

 **UwU** **Menace:** as if im not already planning things smh

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ….do I want to ask where you got off to?

 **UwU Menace:** if you want to keep what i did a surprise 

**UwU Menace:** then no <3

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** and if I say I don’t?

 **UwU Menace:** then youre gonna suffer anyways because i aint tellin you :p

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** where are you maybe I can change your mind ;)

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** PERV ALERT! THE RAT GREMLIN IS IN THE VENT RIGHT ABOVE THE PIANO! I LOOKED UP AND SAW THE DEGENERATE WATCHING US!!!!

 **UwU Menace:** wow thanks for ruining the fun

 **UwU Menace:** now if you dont mind

**UwU Menace is offline**

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** aaaand that’s my cue to go wrangle him.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** This is Kaede, he took my Monopad

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Don‘t worry, Kaede, I’ll get it back

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs is offline**

**Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** I think that’s a new record for ‘how quickly can Kokichi throw a monkey wrench into things’.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Yep. No idea what Shuichi sees in that troublemaker.

 **Moronsexual:** Same… he’s usually fairly smart

 **Snappy Beansprout:** So exhausting… Atua save that idiot

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Huh? Why are you talking about Atua, Him-Yumeno?

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Guess Angie’s rubbing off on me. That’s unfortunate….

 **Lack Common Sense:** As if we didn’t have enough problems. Now the kooky Atua girl is _also_ infecting others.

**Snorts Kool-Aid on the Regular has changed Snorts Kool-Aid on the Regular to Atua’s Messenger**

**Atua’s Messenger:** The only unfortunate thing about it Yumeno-chan is that you have not devoted yourself to Atua!

 **Snappy Beansprout:** That sounds like too much work. Can’t I just sleep?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** …….how can you be a messenger for something that doesn’t exist.

 **Atua’s Messenger:** Atua very much does exist, and it’s no work at all Yumeno-chan, devoting yourself to Atua means relying on Atua, there’s no work involved!

 **Lacks Common Sense:** If Atua exists, tell him/her/it to prove it.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Sounds like a scam! Good things take work, like your magic, Yumeno

 **Atua’s Messenger:** Atua works in mysterious ways! He will come to you when you are ready to accept him, he is very shy you know. 

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** Sounds like a creep to me. I won’t let any creep prey on women

 **Lacks Common Sense:** sounds like code for ‘I can’t actually do that so I’ll bullshit desperately’.

 **Atua’s Messenger:** Who is your god Momota-kun? Pick one for you shall have to pray to them soon :)

 **Snappy Beansprout:**...well maybe he does exist. You all don’t believe in my magic either, but it’s real

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I don’t believe in _any_ “gods”. It’s all stories humans tell each other to explain things they don’t understand.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Well Yonaga believes in my magic. Not like you guys, who just give me a pity smile... 

**Atua’s Messenger:** I pity you Momota-kun, not having a higher one to rely on must be difficult 

**Atua’s Messenger:** Of course I believe in your magic Yumeno-chan, Atua’s guidance has let me see your power

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Then… did he give me my magic?

 **Moronsexual:** Great, we’ve lost the small idiot

 **Mother Hen:** I thought your master taught you your magic, Yumeno-san? It seems disrespectful to his memory to give someone else the credit for his hard work.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** … nyeh, I guess you’re right. Sorry, mommy

 **Atua’s Messenger:** You may not have gotten your magic from Atua directly but there is always a chance your master had learned it from the guidance of Atua. 

**Mother Hen:** While that may be possible, there are other sources of magic. Pagan witches have been around for centuries, and _their_ gods gave them their magic.

 **Moronsexual:**...you act like God or whatever even cares about us

 **Mother Hen:** it is a nice thought, that a higher power exists and watches out for us. However it can be… difficult to believe that as well. It depends on one’s perspective, I suppose

 **Moronsexual:** Trust me, He doesn’t care anymore. He might as well be gone for how little He watches us

 **Mother Hen:** I will not ask how you are so certain of this.

 **Mother Hen:** I myself am unsure either way, to be truthful.

 **Moronsexual:** … nevermind. Pretend I didn’t say anything

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Oh, that horrible music is off now

 **UwU Menace:** >:(

 **UwU Menace:** shuichi plays dirty

 **Undercut Goddess:** The “Kiss you until you stop” trick, huh?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** hm, you can still type. Guess I need more practice. :))))

 **Mother Hen:** I’m mildly impressed that Amami-san and Hoshi-san didn’t react at all.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Amami is the one who unironically likes the Mii themes and that ridiculous badger song, so I’m not surprised

 **Sweet Bean:** What can I say, my tastes are varied

 **Moronsexual:** Just don’t pull an Akamatsu and taste someone in public

 **Salty Bean:** there _is_ a kink for that.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Guysssss, it was an accident. I forgot my lab door doesn’t lock anymore

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Sounds like an excuse to me, Kae-idiot

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Quiet, Iruma!

 **Baby’s First Crush:** EEEEEK

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Hey! You don’t need to yell at her like that!

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** She’s the one acting like a degenerate male!

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** You two were the ones who forgot to make sure no one could walk in on you! Who’s more of a degenerate?

 **Undercut Goddess:** Guys, calm down. It’s alright, I’ve been called way worse. You’re right, Kiibo, and it won’t happen again

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Y-Yea, it better n-not

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** I think they get the point, Miu. Oh! Miu, come to my room please? I have a surprise for you! :D

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Sure, Kiibo. On m-my way

**Miu’s Loving Boyfriend is offline**

**Baby’s First Crush is offline**

**Plain Jane Bitch:** Well that was weird of Kiibo

 **Moronsexual:** oh God she’s moaning… that’s it, I’m burning this school down

 **UwU Menace:** that answers my question about keeboy

 **UwU Menace:** ill help

 **Moronsexual:** This is a one time alliance, gremlin 

**UwU Menace:** understood :)

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Oh come on, I’m sure there’s a…. PG explanation for….okay _nope_.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ...I’m just staying away from the dorms, thanks.

 **Salty Bean:** Good idea. Do that.

 **Undercut Goddess:** …. so we have a pool now. Let’s go check it out, far away from the dorms

 **Salty Bean:** Considering I just had to be fished out of there, hard pass. I’m gonna go… take a walk. Or something. Maybe find my own lab.

 **Sweet Bean:** I’ll come with

 **Lacks Common Sense:** out of curiosity… 

**Salty Bean:** I have a bad feeling about this question.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** are you two… _together_? Amami freaked out pretty hard when he couldn’t find you, Hoshi.

 **Sweet Bean:** To be honest, we haven’t talked about that yet. At this point everyone knows I like him. But he needs time to process today

 **Salty Bean:** I saw that when I read back what I missed. Hell, it was pretty hard to _miss_ how worked up you were, Ran. I… mmmm

 **Satly Bean:** I don’t really want to respond to that where everyone can read it? **(DM 3)**

 **Sweet Bean:** Yea, not my chillest moment. You’re good, though. If you don’t want to say anything, don’t

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Pretty sure everyone understands you losing your cool, dude. I’d do the exact same if Maki was missing, so I get it.

 **Moronsexual:** Geez, don’t get all sappy on me. I’m not worth the concern

 **Lacks Common Sense:** That’s where you’re wrong, Maki. You _are_ worth the concern.

 **Moronsexual:** Whatever, if you say so. Also you really need to lock your door more

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Maybe I leave it unlocked for you.

 **Moronsexual:** And when Monokuma steals you in the middle of the night?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Let him try. When I have you by my side I’m unstoppable. He doesn’t stand a chance!

 **Moronsexual:** you’re a moron… but fine, I’ll make sure you’re safe

 **Undercut Goddess:** awwwwwww

 **Lacks Common Sense:** But I’m your moron <3

 **Moronsexual:**...yea <3

 **Mother Hen:** That is so very sweet to witness.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** It’s always so sweet to see the closed-off characters finally find people to warm up to!

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Speaking of that… I have to say I plainly didn’t see such a close friendship forming between Tojo and Shinguji

 **Creepy Asshole:** I hope you hold no expectations of the two of us becoming a couple. We simply find ourselves similar.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Isn’t that what’s said at the start of every unexpected romance, though?

 **Salty Bean:** What happened to not shipping real people?

 **Mother Hen:** Indeed. Please do not get invested in “shipping” us. It is mildly unsettling.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Oh, alright.

 **Creepy Asshole:** While Kirumi is indeed a splendid person, she is married to her work while I am devoted to my research and honoring my sister’s memory.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** ….you’re not going to make this easy on me, are you.

**Mother Hen has changed Plain Jane Bitch to Struggling Fangirl**

**Mother Hen:** The irony seemed… appropriate.

**Mother Hen has changed Creepy Asshole to Should Have Been a Teacher**

###  **~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (After Rantaro apologises for calling Ryoma ‘his man’)

 _Hoshi Ryoma:_ Sorry, didn’t mean to come off hostile about that. I really just wasn’t expecting that.   
_Amami Rantaro:_ No, you’re right. I should’ve talked about it with you. Just so used to going through life with little concern   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ That sounds… actually kind of nice, in a way? Going through life like that, I mean.   
_Amami Rantaro:_ It is… until everyone thinks you’re a stoner and asks you for your dealer.   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ ….I can picture that happening.   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ ...if we ever get out of here… will you go back to doing that?   
_Amami Rantaro:_ I actually rarely used that stuff. I’m just that chill I guess   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ I believe it. Haven’t seen or smelled it once here and the only time I’ve seen you lose your cool was…. Today.   
_Amami Rantaro:_ Yea, that was def not my style…   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ Sorry for worrying you.   
_Amami Rantaro:_ It’s cool, I’m not one for grudges. Thanks for helping Akamatsu with her hair though, you didn’t have to   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ I’m kinda surprised Tojo pointed her my way, honestly?   
_Amami Rantaro:_ Yea, that was weird   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ I wonder if it has anything to do with how close she and Shinguji seem to have gotten recently?

**~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 2 (After Rantaro deflects a question about the hidden library door)

 _Akamatsu Kaede:_ Hey Shuichi, does it seem like Amami’s avoiding the library door?   
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Definitely. I don’t know if it’s because _Kaito_ asking or if it’s just in general. I wonder why.   
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Should we go down there again? Or maybe try to sneak a look at his Monopad?   
_Saihara Shuichi:_ I want to believe he’s being honest with us… but he knew exactly what door I was talking about even if he claims his map doesn’t show it.   
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ Guess for now we can just watch him   
_Saihara Shuichi:_ We _could_ try asking again about the door? If more than just me and Kaito ask about it he might accidentally reveal something?   
_Akamatsu Kaede:_ You sure that’s a good idea? What if he gets defensive?   
_Saihara Shuichi:_ He might, but doesn’t that usually mean someone’s hiding something?   
_Saihara Shuichi:_ But I see what you mean. It’s a big risk with no guaranteed reward.

**~~~~~~~~~**

DM 3 (After Rantaro admits to liking Ryoma)

 _Hoshi Ryoma:_ It’s not that I don’t want to say anything, I just… would prefer to have any discussions of that sort more privately? Not that I don’t like the others but I just don’t like everyone knowing my business.   
_Amami Rantaro:_ I understand. Our friends are great, but they do have a tendency to be nosy. Just let me know if I ever make you uncomfortable or say too much publicly   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ Yeah, I will.   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ Honestly? I never thought I’d find anyone else after my girlfriend was killed. I wasn’t sure I _wanted_ to. I pissed off some bad people. Anyone who gets close to me is in danger, and I…   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ I know my limits. Losing my family and my girlfriend _broke me_ . If I let myself get close to someone else, and then lost them too…   
_Amami Rantaro:_ I’m sorry to hear that, Hoshi. How about for now we put a pin in this and revisit it if we escape or you change your mind? That way you aren’t opening yourself up in one move   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ Yeah, that sounds good.   
_Hoshi Ryoma:_ I _do_ care about you, I’m just not quite up for that particular conversation yet. And… I don’t mind if you use my given name. If you want to, of course.   
_Amami Rantaro:_ Ok, Ryoma. Call me whatever you like, don’t care much about my name being used

###  **////Chapter Eight End\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

Name List:

Saihara Shuichi: Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs  
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace   
Akamatsu Kaede: Undercut Goddess   
Chabashira Tenko: Simps for Pretty Girls   
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense   
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual   
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush   
K1-B0: Miu’s Loving Boyfriend   
Shinguji Korekiyo: Should Have Been a Teacher   
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen   
Shirogane Tsumugi: Struggling Fangirl   
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean   
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty Bean   
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia   
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout   
Yonaga Angie: Atua’s Messenger


	9. In Which Shuichi Lands Himself In A Lot Of Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Multi: We're getting into the serious angst now. I would say we're sorry, but we aren't. Enjoy!
> 
> Tango: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha

**Salty Bean:** so, I can only assume my lab is in a part of the school we can't access for whatever reason. Which is disappointing, admittedly. Why lock off parts of the school like this? Unless it's meant as incentive to kill?

 **Sweet Bean:** Most likely. And the way to the rest of the second floor is blocked by a stone wall.

 **Salty Bean:** too bad nobody knows how to make explosives. Except maybe Iruma but like hell I'm chancing the dorms anytime soon.

 **Moronsexual:** ….I can make some

 **Undercut Goddess:** Huh? But you’re the Ultimate Child Caregiver. Why do you know that?

 **Moronsexual:** Doesn’t matter, I just do

 **Salty Bean:** I don't know how you know, and I don't want to know. But yes. Explosives. Then maybe we can explore the rest of the school.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** could you make a few for me too, Harukawa? I want to test something.

 **Moronsexual:** Why do you want some, Saihara?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** you remember that door I mentioned in the library?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** it opens, but there's another locked door behind it. I'm _very_ curious as to what's on the other side.

 **Moronsexual:** Maybe once we’ve explored the school

 **UwU Menace:** cmoooooon giv us the booms

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _someone_ is going to a great deal of trouble to hide _something_ in the library. Who knows, maybe it's a way out. Granted it could also be nothing, but I doubt that.

 **Struggling Fangirl:** Are we sure that’s safe?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** nope! But it could work anyway.

 **Struggling Fangirl:** Im just concerned…

 **Moronsexual:** Alright alright, we can blow up the door if it’ll shut you up

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** :)))))))))))

 **Moronsexual:** Don’t make me regret this

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Is it truly wise to destroy a mysterious door that doesn’t even appear on our most complete map?

 **Mother Hen:** perhaps it would be wise to gather more information on what could possibly be behind it first. Would you be willing to show us this door?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ……. fair enough. I just… I know I don't have evidence for it yet but something important is definitely on the other side of that door.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I suppose I let my impatience get the better of me at the idea of explosives.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Just don’t be too loud while I sleep

 **Salty Bean:** what makes you think there's anything important on the other side?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** honestly it might be easier to just show you guys the door as part of the explanation. It's _very_ out of place in the library. Even in the school itself there's not much else that I've seen that looks like that door.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Yea, we investigated the areas we could explore very hard

 **Struggling Fangirl:** Sounds like an interesting first date

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …. I wouldn't necessarily call an investigation a date, but I guess it could seem that way…?

 **Undercut Goddess:** We had pretty much just met at that point. Dating was the last thing on my mind

 **Moronsexual:** And then the dumb feelings snuck up on you, huh?

 **Undercut Goddess:**...yup. In multiple ways

 **Struggling Fangirl:** Oh now that you mention it, how did you and Momota get together, Harukawa?

 **Moronsexual:** He dragged me around, wore down my defenses, and I decided I like him

 **Lacks Common Sense:** well that's a flattering description. 😛

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** the feelings snuck up on all of us, it seems like.

 **Moronsexual:** Alright, then how would you describe it, Kaito?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** to be fair, I never said you were _wrong_ , Maki. Just that it wasn't exactly a flattering way to put it.

 **Moronsexual:** well I guess it worked out in the end

 **Lacks Common Sense:** that it did. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** awe, that's cute.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** For a degenerate, that was really nice

 **Undercut Goddess:** Sorry about her, still working on that with her

 **Lacks Common Sense:** hey, coming from Chabashira, that's pretty high praise! I'll take it! :D

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Hey Maki.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Guess what.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Я тебя люблю

 **Moronsexual:** Я тоже тебя люблю, придурок

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Hey! Quit speaking commie, you fuckin nerds

 **Lacks Common Sense:** заставь меня

 **Lacks Common Sense:** …..is it safe to return to the dorms now that one of them is back online?

 **Miu's Loving Boyfriend:** ??? What do you mean safe?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** The fuck? Are you that much of a virgin that the idea of a massage breaks you?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Massage. Sure.

 **Salty Bean:** You started _moaning_ like that and everyone, and I do mean _everyone_ , cleared the dorms as fast as we physically could. Those walls are damn thin.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Trust me, Kii gives the best fuckin massages in the world. Felt better than rubbing one off

 **Undercut Goddess:** Those moans were not from a massage

 **Baby’s First Crush:** And you definitely weren’t making out with Judo Bitch in the bathroom earlier

 **Struggling Fangirl:** So that’s why the door was locked

 **Salty Bean:** Nah I’m with Akamatsu on this one.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** It was a massage! Miu works very hard and doesn’t take time for herself so I wanted to do something nice for her!

 **Moronsexual:** Are you telling the truth, Kiibo?

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Yes I am.

 **Moronsexual:** Alright, Iruma just has no shame or self control

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** I think by now we’ve seen she does in fact have shame if you stand up to her crass words.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Shame or her having some kind of humiliation kink.

 **Salty Bean:** both?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** You all are the worst…

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** it's not like we have much else to do aside from pick on each other in this place.

 **Moronsexual:** Or makeout a lot like Akamatsu and Chabashira

 **Snappy Beansprout:** geez, now I’m really glad Tenko stopped going after me

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** the idea of romance is _really_ unappealing to you, isn’t it Yumeno-chan?

 **Snappy Beansprout:** just seems like so much work, and I don’t really understand what people mean when they describe romance

 **Miu's Loving Boyfriend:** from my understanding romance is doing couple-like things with someone else. Holding hands, affectionate nicknames, or even just cuddling with another person while you sleep.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Sounds like what my mom did with me

 **Miu's Loving Boyfriend:** well, I mean, yes, parents can do those things but that's not really romantic?

 **Undercut Goddess:** For me, loving someone is your heart speeding up at the sight of them and a smile forming on your face. It’s wanting to be around them as much as you can and hoping they feel the same. It’s the thought of them vanishing making your whole body freeze

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Seems exhausting. Plus I don’t think I could spend that much time with anyone

 **Miu's Loving Boyfriend:** which is perfectly okay. Not everyone feels the need to engage in that. Or in sex for that matter.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Sorry about that one Kii. >///////<

 **Miu's Loving Boyfriend:** there's nothing to be sorry for. I'm happy I was able to do something nice for you :D

 **Miu's Loving Boyfriend:** some noises are just.. easier to misinterpret.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** And you all act like Kaede and I are bad…

 **Undercut Goddess:** To be fair, Tenny, we have been a little excessive on the public kissing

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I think it's fair to say that both couples can take it a bit overboard. Which makes for excellent material to pick on them.

 **Salty Bean:** speaking of couples is no one going to talk about Harukawa using an emoticon?

 **Moronsexual:** Doesn’t seem that big a deal to me, especially since it was just a heart

 **UwU Menace:** O>O

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I'm honestly kinda shocked that the overdramatic gremlin hasn't tricked Shuichi into any ridiculous PDA yet.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Shuichi isn’t really one for PDA. He prefers quick little pecks

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** how did I get dragged into this?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Oh. That’s adorable. I didn’t realize you spoke Russian, either of you.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Yeah, I learned it a while ago. If I’m going to be an astronaut, I’m going to run into people who speak Russian. It only made sense to learn it. Didn’t know you spoke it too, Maki.

 **Moronsexual:** Not fluent, but I had a few jobs in Russia due to its proximity to Japan

 **Undercut Goddess:** Huh, didn’t expect a babysitter to be an international deal. Though I guess that’s an Ultimate for you

 **Moronsexual:** Huh?

 **Moronsexual:** Oh, right. Yea I guess it just comes with the talent **(DM1)**

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Yeah, Maki’s just that awesome.

 **Moronsexual:** Yea right

 **UwU Menace:** sus but im letting it slide

 **Moronsexual:** Buzz off

 **Arachnophobia:** Buzzing? Where?

 **UwU Menace:** in that giant empty head of yours

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _Kokichi_ , be nice or I will cut you off from cuddles for the rest of the day.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Also, why “sus”?

 **UwU Menace:** because sparkle emoji sus sparkle emoji

 **Moronsexual:** ….I have never hated a person more than I do you

 **UwU Menace:** gasp what an honor

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Of course you’d see it that way.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ….why do I like this boy.

 **UwU Menace:** because you like a challenge ;)

 **Baby’s First Crush:** You’re a fuckin challenge alright, you shitty gremlin

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** You’re one to talk….

 **Baby’s First Crush:** The fuck does that mean, Poo-ichi?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** what do you think it means, ms genius?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** That you’re jealous as fuck of my kickass boyfriend

 **UwU Menace:** whod be jealous of that tin can 

**Baby’s First Crush:** Shut the fuck up, you waste of oxygen

 **UwU Menace:** oh choke on a dick youd be more useful that way

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Ugh… f-fuck off you…

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** …..

 **Baby’s First Crush:** I know, Kii… I need to try being nicer and shit….

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …..

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Honestly that’s tame for you, Miu. I’m more annoyed at the other one.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Understandable.

 **UwU Menace:** ooooo im known just as other one now

 **UwU Menace:** fun 

**Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** oh, did that hurt your feelings?

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Must suck to be on the receiving end for once.

 **UwU Menace:** oh question mark it was supposed to hurt my feelings

 **UwU Menace:** well looks like you did that just as well as everything else you do bean counter :)

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Will you just drop it already?! I don’t know what’s gotten into you but I don’t really have the energy to do damage control for you today.

 **UwU Menace:** awwww is little shumai afraid of a little discourse

 **UwU Menace:** well buckle up sweetheart this is the real world <3

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …(DM2)

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs is offline**

**UwU Menace:** oh boo-hoo cry me a river

 **Undercut Goddess:** Is everything ok, Ouma?

 **UwU Menace:** just peachy :)

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ...when even your biggest defender is sick of your bullshit.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Impressive, Ouma.

 **UwU Menace:** thanks :D

 **Undercut Goddess:** Alright, well when you want to actually talk about what’s bugging you, let me know

 **UwU Menace:** theres nothing bothering me but ok 

**Undercut Goddess is offline**

**Lacks Common Sense:** Well, should have known Shuichi’s good influence could only last so long.

 **Moronsexual:** He gave up a good thing with Akamatsu for you, gremlin. Maybe let him know you appreciate him sometimes

 **UwU Menace:** well right now the only thing I’m appreciating is how firm that ass is 

**UwU Menace:** everything else question mark eh pass

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** You’re the absolute worst, Ouma. I’ve never met someone more scummy

 **UwU Menace:** thank you for the compliment 

**Baby’s First Crush:** And once a-fuckin-gain, you’re all on your own with no one to help out

 **UwU Menace:** could be worse also your insults are losing their spunk slut

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Kii doesn’t like when I’m excessively vulgar and I give a shit about my boyfriend, unlike you. That is, assuming you still have one

 **UwU Menace:** oh dont worry whore shuichis still gonna be off the market

 **Lacks Common Sense:** who knows, maybe he’ll get his sense back when he sees what you said about him as soon as he couldn’t see it. Something I just sent him a screenshot of, by the way.

 **UwU Menace:** ive said a whole lot worse to his face hell be fine

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Even more reason for him to dump you. How disrespectful can you get. Especially to the _one person_ that’s always stood up for you.

 **UwU Menace:** and what if i said he likes the disrespect ;)

 **Mother Hen:** Does he? Or does he just internalize it because he thinks he deserves it?

 **UwU Menace:** oh fuck off mom learn to be able to tell a lie jfc 

**Mother Hen:** You brush it off as a ‘lie’, but many of us have heard some of the things you’ve said to him. Some of us have also heard the sorts of things he regularly says about _himself_. The two aren’t that different.

 **UwU Menace:** you know with the whole lot of circus freaks you all are youd know what a joke is

 **UwU Menace:** were working on the self confidence thing dont worry

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Right, sure you are. How’s that coming along?

 **UwU Menace:** well if shuichi would respond to my messages then wed know wouldnt we

 **UwU Menace:** hes been typing _forever_

 **Lacks Common Sense:** maybe take it as a hint.

 **Mother Hen:** ...did he mention where he was going? He seems to be moving rather quickly through the halls of the school.

 **UwU Menace:** what question mark

 **UwU Menace:** i told him to come to my room

 **Mother Hen:** Check your map. He does not appear to be doing that.

 **Mother Hen:** He almost appears to be… running from something??

 **UwU Menace:** that uh cant be good

**UwU Menace is offline**

**Lacks Common Sense:** much as I hate to agree with that annoying little shit on anything…

**Lack Common Sense is offline**

**Mother Hen is offline**

**Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** …..I don’t see him on the map at all…..

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Did he go into the vents again?

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** It’s possible?

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Anything involving those degenerates can’t be good, hopefully Tojo-san can do something.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ...if Tojo-san was right, and he _was_ running from something… I hope whatever… or _whoever_ it was didn’t catch him.

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Well whoever touches my friends is gonna taste these Neo-Aikido fists!

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ….I don’t know how much help I’d be with that part, but I certainly hope he’s alright.

 **Sweet Bean:** That was….something to read back through. I hope Saihara is ok though.

 **Salty Bean:** Yeah, same. Does anyone know where he was last? Maybe we can help..?

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Unfortunately, nothing beyond him being in the school.

 **Sweet Bean:** damn

 **Baby’s First Crush:** I’ll see if any of the cameras show him

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Didn’t know you had access.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** I managed to break into a good number, though there seems to be more I can’t access or find

 **Salty Bean:** ...call me paranoid but who’s unaccounted for? Iruma and Kiibo are together, Ran and I are together, Tojo, Ouma and Momota all went to look for Saihara… that’s 7 out of 15.

 **Miu’s loving Boyfriend:** You think one of _us_ might have been chasing Saihara-san?

 **Salty Bean:** Unless that damn bear was lying about not being able to cause us direct harm then there’s no one else it _could_ be. Though we don’t know if he’s hurt or not so this might all be nothing… like I said, call me paranoid.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** As I recall, Akamatsu went offline pretty soon after Saihara did. And she has always been invested in the young detective.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ….I can’t decide if that’s you being suspicious of her or clearing her.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Simply discussing her place in this mess.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** fair enough. ...wait, wasn’t she with Chabashira-san?

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Um… about that. She actually left to go see Saihara when she went offline

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Curious. She leaves to find Saihara and soon after he goes missing.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ….perhaps we should wait to make judgements until Tojo-san, Ouma and Momota-san return online to tell us what they found.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Very well.

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** There’s no way she did this

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** @UwU Menace @Lacks Common Sense @Mother Hen Anything?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** We found his Monopad. No sign of _him_.

 **Mother Hen:** There is blood in the hallway where we found his Monopad. The amount seems consistent with a possible head injury.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** He was definitely _moving_ after the injury. Under his own power or not we don’t know.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Gremlin is not taking it well.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** If he _was_ I would be even _more_ concerned.

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** And Kaede?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** No sign of her anywhere.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Nyehh, do you think They took her too?

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Assuming she isn’t working with them.

 **Salty Bean:** ...and suddenly my paranoia wanting to know where everyone is seems justified.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Maki was with me, up until I left to go help look for Shuichi.

 **Mother Hen:** At this point, there are many possibilities and few answers. I’m fairly certain I know what Shinguji-san’s location _was_ , so I’m decently confident it wasn’t him.

**Undercut Goddess is online**

**Sweet Bean:** Hold on, she’s popped up online again… wait how did she get to the other side of the second floor?

 **Undercut Goddess:** Shit, sorry for disappearing. Was chasing one of the Monokubs and forgot to turn my Monopad online again

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** See? Told you all she wasn’t helping kidnap Saihara

 **Undercut Goddess:** Wait what?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** We found his Monopad. It’s offline, and there’s blood in the hallway around it. We’re assuming it’s his blood.

 **Mother Hen:** one of the Monokubs? Which one and why?

 **Undercut Goddess:** The red one? I forget their names but I heard him mention something about Shuichi being annoying to deal with so I ran over and yelled. Must’ve frightened him or something cause he started running. Luckily Tenny’s been helping me with my endurance so I was able to chase him around outside for a while before we went inside and up to the second floor

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Oh, she helped with your endurance, hm?

 **Salty Bean:** Not gonna lie, that seems a little _too_ convenient that they were talking about him right as you walked by. It’s possible they were buying time for whoever was after him so they weren’t caught in the act.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Wait… I helped them?

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** But to what degree does this “help” extend?

 **Salty Bean:** I meant that it’s possible that you could have caught whoever attacked him if you hadn’t chased the red one instead. That might be why he said something to lure you into chasing him.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Oh god…

 **Mother Hen:** I believe he is alive, however. At least currently. There isn’t enough blood here to indicate that he could have bled out. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be a blood trail to anywhere either.

 **Salty Bean:** If he left that area under his own power with a head injury, chances are he’d _want_ to leave clues so someone could find him. So it’s probably a safe guess that he didn’t?

 **Undercut Goddess:** We need to get into that room in the library. That must be why they took him

 **Lacks Common Sense:** That seems like it’d make it too obvious that someone _doesn’t_ want that room explored, though?

 **Salty Bean:** The only people who really reacted to the room being brought up, at least in chat, were Ran, Tojo, Shinguji, Harukawa and Shirogane. Which puts suspicion on them if it _is_ connected to that room.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** True. But you said you were with Amami this whole time, and I was with Maki so that should take them both off the list, at least for now? Also I doubt Tojo would _point out_ something was up if it was her doing the something. Which leaves Shinguji and Shirogane.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** And surely you see my accusations against Akamatsu as a potential ruse on my part to push the blame away from myself, hm? I don’t blame you, Momota.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** That’s one possibility. But at the same time you’re also not wrong in pointing at least _some_ suspicion at her? Could be a coincidence, could also not be.

 **Struggling Fangirl:** Um… I know I’m just plainly a suspect, but what if none of us are working with Monokuma? Didn’t this whole suspicion thing start with speculation?

 **Salty Bean:** True. We can’t rule out that someone just decided to start the Killing Game by taking out the detective first.

 **Salty Bean:** Hell of a way to do it. With the First Blood perk and the newest one of taking someone with you, and then taking out Saihara… they’re practically guaranteed to get out alive if they really killed him.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Then perhaps we should figure out who here was capable of such a feat.

**UwU Menace is online**

**UwU Menace:** shuichis not dead

 **UwU Menace:** but if he is and it was one of you fuckers you wont get through the trial

 **UwU Menace:** monokumas punishment would seem like a mercy kill

 **Moronsexual:** Like you give a shit about Saihara

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** You forget the First Blood Perk. If whoever did it claims that there won’t _be_ a trial. They automatically get away with it.

 **UwU Menace:** well it would be real fuckin stupid to claim it now wouldnt it question mark

 **UwU Menace:** theyd just put a bigger target on their head I dont give a flying f u c k about this games rules 

**Salty Bean:** Feral Gremlin will kill in front of witnesses, got it.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Surprising, given how you were treating him and talking about him just before he disappeared. 

**Moronsexual:** And your general disregard for anything he says

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Come on guys they were _dating_ . He had to have meant _something_ to Ouma, regardless of your opinions to the contrary.

 **Moronsexual:** All it looked like to me was Ouma playing with Saihara until he grew bored

 **UwU Menace:** kiibo is now my only friend fuck all yall and hold the fuck up you said were 

**UwU Menace:** we still are dating 

**Baby’s First Crush:** The guy you’re always being robophobic towards?

 **UwU Menace:** yes uwu

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** I suppose I appreciate being classed as a friend? Somehow I doubt that will change your behavior all that much. I think only Saihara ever managed that.

 **UwU Menace:** _sigh_ i guessss i could be nicer

 **Moronsexual:** Yea right, gremlin

 **UwU Menace:** :)

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** _Anyway_. If he’s not dead then we might only have a limited window of time to find him so we should probably _do that_ instead of squabbling.

 **Mother Hen:** What did you mean the “other side” of the second floor, Amami-san?

 **Sweet Bean:** There's a concrete wall that blocks another half of the second floor, as well as there being a staircase up to the third floor on that side. 

**Mother Hen:** And your map… showed Akamatsu-san on that side?

 **Sweet Bean:** Yeah… Akamatsu, did you see anything odd around you or on that side?

 **Salty Bean:** ...how though… unless the red one did it on purpose? Maybe they can retract the wall…?

 **Undercut Goddess:** I don’t know. The dragon statue was gone and there was no wall behind it anymore

 **Salty Bean:** well that's some interesting timing, I guess. Not sure if it means anything.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** cool so who wants to go see if it's still open and look for Shuichi there if it is?

 **Sweet Bean:** I’ll go, I wanna see the other side of the floor, and ya know...I have the map lol.

 **Salty Bean:** I’ll go with you. Probably better that everyone tries not to be alone until we figure out what the fuck happened.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** I’ll stay with Akamatsu, see if perhaps I can learn some of what she saw in her travels through the school.

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** Yea right, you just want to be suspicious of her, you degenerate

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Maki, want to come help us look?

 **Moronsexual:** Yea, just need a sec

 **Mother Hen:** It could be a coincidence but the timing _does_ make her look slightly suspicious.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Did you find anything on the cameras, Miu?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Well, other than the plain bitch spending a long time in the bathroom, nothing odd

 **Mother Hen:** are there any cameras near where we found his monopad?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Yea, but whoever fucking made these cameras only gave them a couple minutes of storage. What a fucking dumbass

 **Sweet Bean:** its probably supposed to function like that

 **Sweet Bean:** it’d be a lot less “entertaining” for monokuma if we could see a kill happen on security tapes

 **Baby’s First Crush:** So he takes the shitting footage elsewhere. Thanks, Avocado Boy

 **Sweet Bean:** No problem? But if that is how it works I don’t think we can rely on the cameras here, for this or anything else that might happen

 **Baby’s First Crush:** well great, that was a massive waste of my valuable time 

**Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** It was worth a try, at least.

 **Moronsexual:** Guess I’ll start collecting bomb materials 

**Salty Bean:** ...bomb materials..?

 **Salty Bean:** oh, for the library door?

 **Moronsexual:** Yup

 **Undercut Goddess:** Still don’t understand why a babysitter would know this kind of thing

 **Moronsexual:**...if we all make it out of this, I’ll tell you guys

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ...alright, fair.

 **Salty Bean:** ….what, exactly do you mean by “this”? This as in we find Saihara? Or out of the game?

 **Moronsexual:** Preferably after we’re all out… but a certain moron convinced me to do it after we get Saihara back

 **Salty Bean:** definitely curious as to how you know. That’s a fair compromise, though. How did he convince you? If you don’t mind my asking.

 **Moronsexual:** So anyways, the bomb is almost ready

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** that was fast?

 **Moronsexual:** Couldn’t make it too powerful since I don’t know how solid the door or school are

 **Undercut Goddess:** Alright, let’s do this

 **Salty Bean:** ….this should be interesting.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Will it be loud?

 **Moronsexual:** You can just stay in the dorms

 **Mother Hen:** …...are we doing this because Saihara was suspicious? Or do we believe he might be behind this door?

 **Moronsexual:** He seemed to have been the one most interested in getting past that door and then got taken. So whatever is behind that door must be important. Either he’s inside or we use that room as a bargaining chip against Monokuma

 **UwU Menace:** lettsss gooooooo shuichis bleeding we need to hurry >:(

 **Moronsexual:** Fine, just calm down and get out of the basement so I can start the countdown

 **Moronsexual:** Alright, bomb armed. Gonta, come over here

 **Arachnophobia:** Sure, Gonta come help somehow

 **Undercut Goddess:** Geez, I heard that explosion from outside. You guys ok?

 **Moronsexual:** Ok… I may have miscalculated and started a fire in the library

 **Undercut Goddess:** WHAT!?!

 **Moronsexual:** More importantly, I saw the door still standing through the flames

 **Sweet Bean:** ….Well then 

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I’m curious what knowledge may be burning up now.

 **Sweet Bean:** Shouldn’t a sprinkler system be kicking on by now? 

**Sweet Bean:**...nvm I am now a wet avocado

 **Sweet Bean:** _my hair_

 **Moronsexual:** So that was a failure

 **Salty Bean:** Hahahahahaha Ran looks hilarious and kinda adorable like that. Gotta be honest

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Maki are you okay?

 **Sweet Bean:** (๑╹ω╹๑ ) thanks Yoma (〃ω〃)

 **Salty Bean:** Oh no, what is that look. _Oh hell no_

 **Salty Bean:** Damn it.

 **Sweet Bean:** _be wet with me_

 **Sweet Bean:**...that came out wrong

 **Salty Bean:** ….fuck off

 **Salty Bean:** ……………

 **Moronsexual:** I’m fine, Kaito. The paper barely landed on me

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I’m heading that way now.

 **Salty Bean:** Shit, it _is_ still standing. The fuck is that _made_ of?!

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Man, I need some of whatever it is

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Hm. Was the explosive perhaps not strong enough? Perhaps we should remove the books and try again with something stronger?

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** that said, we should all also probably be listening for any unusual noises, especially behind that door. If that was heard and felt outside the school, and Saihara-san _is_ being kept back there, there’s no way he _missed_ it. Hopefully he can do something to let us know where he is.

 **Moronsexual:** I’ll try making a bigger one once SOMEBODY stops panicking over a small burn

 **Lack Common Sense:** I’m not sorry.

 **Salty Bean:** That’s actually cute.

 **Moronsexual:** I’ve dealt with much worse on my own

 **Lacks Common Sense:** You keep saying things like that and I keep telling you it doesn’t matter. You’re _not_ alone anymore.

 **Moronsexual:** Yea yea…

 **Undercut Goddess:** Hey did anyone explore the third floor?

 **Salty Bean:** Nah, Ran wanted to head to the basement. You guys up there?

 **Undercut Goddess:** At the stairs leading to it currently. Got Tenko here with me but some more company could be helpful

 **Salty Bean:** I’ll head that way. Bit over getting soaked by these damn sprinklers.

 **Moronsexual:** I’ll come too

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I’ll stay down there and get started moving some of these books so they can dry. Gonta, Amami, mind helping?

 **Arachnophobia:** Scary fire gone?

 **Lacks Common Sense:** fire’s out big guy. Just a lot of heavy books to move

 **Arachnophobia:** Then Gonta on his way

 **Salty Bean:** Alright, let’s see what’s up on the third floor.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Oh! There’s Ryoma’s lab right at the top of the stairs

 **Salty Bean:** …..so tempted. But we have more important things to do.

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** Um… any ideas whose lab would have just a red velvety door?

 **Undercut Goddess:** Hmm, maybe Korekiyo or Rantaro?

 **Moronsexual:** I’ll investigate that room, you all check the rest of the floor

 **Salty Bean:** ….do you think there’s a chance someone stuffed him in one of the labs…?

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** Woah… thats a lot of weapons….

 **Moronsexual:** Hey! I said I had that room handled

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** OH GOD HE’S TIED TO A TARGET IN THE SHOOTING RANGE!

 **Moronsexual:** Wait what?

 **Salty Bean:** _oh shit_. Yeah, that… someone alert the gremlin. We found Saihara!

###  **~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (when Maki mentions working in Russia)

 _Momota Kaito:_ I still think you should tell them.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Yea, cause the people stuck in a Killing Game with me will be so happy to hear I’m an assassin  
_Momota Kaito:_ and they’ll be even less happy if someone _else_ tells them first. Like the Gremlin, for instance, if he were to find out.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ stop being so smart, makes it hard to call you my moron  
_Momota Kaito:_ Hey, I have to be smart occasionally. Can’t keep up with my amazing girlfriend otherwise. <3  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Still don’t understand why you want to be around me, considering what I’ve done  
_Momota Kaito:_ what was that line… “People do crazy things, when they’re in love”? Something like that.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ I’ll say…  
_Harukawa Maki:_ <3  
_Harukawa Maki:_ ….please let me stab him, even just a little  
_Momota Kaito:_ …..  
_Momota Kaito:_ no stabbing. As tempting as it is.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Whatever. Anyways, been a while since you dragged me out at night for star watching  
_Momota Kaito:_ Oh! I looked up more stories from mythology to share, too!  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Y’know… the blanket is a little small for fitting three people. Plus Saihara has the gremlin to deal with…  
_Momota Kaito:_ …..are you suggesting what I think you are?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Probably not, especially if your mind went to the gutter  
_Momota Kaito:_ ...I mean. I wouldn’t say _no_ , but no, that’s not what I was thinking. I was thinking date night.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Geez, don’t make such a big deal out of this. I’m allowed to want a date  
_Momota Kaito:_ Hey, I’m not complaining. :D  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Good, and yes I want a date. Just try to limit the sappy lines  
_Momota Kaito:_ I’ll try, but no promises.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Alright, see you tonight 🌚  
_Harukawa Maki:_ why the hell is that the moon emoji?  
_Momota Kaito:_ ..I have no idea.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ fucking Monokuma  
_Momota Kaito:_ ….probably a safe assumption at this point.

**~~~~~~~~~**

DM 2 (Around the time Shuichi goes offline)

 _Saihara Shuichi:_ ...is everything alright? You haven’t been this snappy with everyone in a while.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ well one of us has to keep up appearances  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Oh? How so.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ how long has it been since youve really searched the school huh  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ how long has it been since weve been stuck here and your detective brain hasnt done shit shuichi  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ Oh, I’m sorry, did you miss the part where the case I solved to _get_ that title was mostly luck? It’s not like I _hid_ that fact.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ ...on the note of who’s doing what… when exactly was the last time _you_ slept?  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ i didnt miss the part where it was mostly luck because it wasnt mostly luck i trust in that grey blob of yours you better fucking use it dickhead  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ and when i last slept is none of your fucking business  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ really? Because as I recall you agreed to date me, which kinda makes your wellbeing my business. Including sleeping.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ wouldn’t be the first fucking time I let down someone who trusted me I guess. Just another failure to add to the list.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ no no no no no _none_ of that shit right now  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ get your head out of that black pit its my turn to be the family disappointment  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ You _aren’t_ a disappointment, Kokichi.  
_Saihara Shuichi:_ but I’m sorry. I’ll shut up.  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ goddamn it  
_Ouma Kokichi:_ get your ass over to my dorms  
_Saihara Shuichi is typing_  
(~5 minutes later)  
_Saihara Shuichi is offline_

###  **///////////Chapter Nine End\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

Name List

Saihara Shuichi: Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs  
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace  
Akamatsu Kaede: Undercut Goddess  
Chabashira Tenko:Simps for Pretty Girls  
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense  
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual  
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean  
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty Bean  
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen  
Shinguji Korekiyo: Should Have Been a Teacher  
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush  
K1-B0: Miu’s Loving Boyfriend  
Yonaga Angie: Atua’s Messenger  
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout  
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia  
Shirogane Tsumugi: Struggling Fangirl


	10. What Falls Will Build Back Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tango: What’s angst without a good amount of romantic fluff :D  
> Fire: Sorry for the wait. Took a short break to recharge and plan the backstory and potential sequel material. But don’t worry, we’re far from done with this story  
> Multi: Shuichi upping his guilt trip game haha. He's going to make Kokichi take care of himself one way or another. We have so many ideas for this story it's almost insane. Lots to look forward to!

**Undercut Goddess:** Ok, now that Shuichi is freed and has Ouma wrapped protectively around him, what the hell is going on, Harukawa?

 **Moronsexual:** I already told you guys, I had no clue he was in my lab

 **Lacks Common Sense:** We believe ya, Maki.

 **Salty Bean:** The question is, _how_ did he get in here, then?

 **Salty Bean:** Also, this lab is… not what I would have expected of the Ultimate Child Caregiver

 **Sweet Bean:** I definitely get more Ultimate Weaponsmith or something like that from this room.

 **Moronsexual:**...try Ultimate Assassin

 **Salty Bean:** Well that explains that.

 **Sweet Bean:**...checks out

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ….do you two always share a braincell?

 **Sweet Bean:** It’s Ryoma’s I’m just borrowing uwu 

**Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Well at least you admit it?

 **Moronsexual:** So yea, that’s my secret. I’ll just go isolate myself now

 **Lacks Common Sense:** don’t think so.

 **Mother Hen:** ….did Harukawa-san just _hiss_

 **Undercut Goddess:** Annnnnd now her face is completely red

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** Hey! Put her down you degenerate!

 **Lacks Common Sense:** …..No.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Well, now we know there is in fact someone capable of murder in cold blood amongst us.

 **Mother Hen:** aren’t all humans if given the correct circumstances?

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Oh certainly, we have already come to that consensus. However it takes more than the right circumstances to create the Ultimate Assassin.

 **Mother Hen:** true.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** I am admittedly curious as to how one gains such a title.

 **Sweet Bean:** Well, if those two keep glaring at each other like that, I think we’ll get to see her skills in action

 **Undercut Goddess:** Let’s not encourage them to fight

 **UwU Menace:** i dont care if you fight or make out just get a room >:(

 **Lacks Common Sense:** look who’s talking

 **UwU Menace:** uwu

 **Mother Hen:** …..don’t tempt him, please. We just found Saihara, we don’t need him to disappear again.

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** Ugh, and the glaring contest has turned into kissing…

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** I seem to recall Akamatsu and yourself being caught making out several times

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** QUIET, DEGENERATE MALE!!!!

 **Sweet Bean:** You’re literally sitting in Kaede’s lap right now

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** guuuuyyys this isn’t a _competition_.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Of course it aint, cause Kii and I would fuckin win it

 **UwU Menace:** _are_you_sure_about_that.gif_

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** bhdbhgxhshgdvygisbu

 **Baby’s First Crush:** OH SHIT SOMEONE BROKE HIM! BIG DICK BOY, COME CARRY HIM TO MY LAB!

 **Mother Hen:** ...I wonder who that could have been.

 **Arachnophobia:** Should Gonta help too? Though Gonta not sure who this Big Dick Boy is

 **Salty Bean:** No one. No one at all, Gonta.

 **Arachnophobia:** Huh? But Miu call for him. Should we go find him too?

 **Sweet Bean:** No one tell him

 **Salty Bean:** Iruma very often says things that don’t make sense.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Well fuck you too, Small Shits

 **Sweet Bean:** Thats my job Iruma :)

 **Salty Bean:** ……….

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ….first Kiibo, now Hoshi. Who else is going to break their partner tonight.

 **Struggling Fangirl:** Well either KaiKi or KaeKo

 **Undercut Goddess:** 1) Really, Ship names?

 **Undercut Goddess:** 2) Where have you been?

 **Struggling Fangirl:** Taking a bath

 **Mother Hen:** when did you come up with those?

 **Struggling Fangirl:** Well I’ve been working on them for a while but decided for sure in the bath

 **UwU Menace:** well what about tojo and shingujis ship name owo

 **Struggling Fangirl:** ShinRumi 

**Mother Hen:** ……..

 **Mother Hen:** ...never have I been so tempted to investigate the idea of _matching head injuries_.

 **UwU Menace:** o.o

 **Struggling Fangirl:** Since we’re currently calling out all the couples or soon to be ones, there’s also IruBo and ShuOuma

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** I’m not sure why you’re making a couples name for myself and Kirumi, or why you insist we’re interested in becoming one.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …..I think this conversation has been had before. Don’t think the question was answered then either.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** then again my name describes my head right now so I could be wrong.

 **UwU Menace:** _then get off your monopad you have a head injury_

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _but you won’t let me speak_

 **UwU Menace:** because there were ropes on _your throat_

 **UwU Menace:** what if something was damaged question mark

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** well I’m not napping right here so either you let me speak or shush and let me type.

 **Undercut Goddess:** How you feeling, Shuichi?

 **UwU Menace:** hhhh fine but ima be watching you -_-

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** a bit woozy still. Thankfully the nausea seems to have passed, now I just hurt.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** yes dear.

 **UwU Menace:** <3

 **Mother Hen:** ...that’s… actually surprisingly wholesome for Ouma-kun.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** jokes and banter aside, do ya remember who or what attacked ya, Shuichi?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I… don’t.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I’m sorry. I know that’s not helpful.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** maybe something will come back to me once this headache clears up.

 **Plain Jane Bitch:** Well don’t hurt yourself

 **Mother Hen:** I think we can all agree we’ve had enough of that for one day.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...yeah, I agree with that.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Guess we blew up the library for nothing

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ….you did what.

 **Arachnophobia:** Make huge fire, very scary. Luckily it start rain indoors

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …... _you guys set the library on fire?!_

 **Moronsexual:** Yea, that one was my bad. Didn’t occur to me that all the old, dry books would probably catch some of the sparks from the bomb

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...I’m still stuck on the fact that you guys had a _bomb_ in the _library_. Why???

 **Undercut Goddess:** We assumed Monokuma was hiding you behind the secret door, so Maki went and made a bomb to try blowing it up. Unfortunately all it did was burn half the library

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ….thank you? I think?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...wait, that door _withstood a direct blast_?!

 **Moronsexual:** I didn’t want to make too big of an explosion in case it hurt you or caused the floor above it to start collapsing

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...fair enough.

 **Atua’s Messenger:** Atua says he made the door stronger to keep you safe, Saihara

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Hey you kooky bitch, Poo-Ichi wasn’t even in there

 **Atua’s Messenger:** I suggest you shut your blasphemous mouth before Atua smites your ass

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I… appreciate the thought???

 **Salty Bean:** woah, easy there, that cough sounds nasty.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Wish we had a nurse around to check on you

 **Mother Hen:** from my limited expertise rest and water, possibly with some ice for the bruising is really all we _can_ do.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...honestly I would have preferred to be there to where I was. Not that I don’t appreciate Kiichi’s efforts but laughing hurts and I don’t like it.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Yes, the ropework of whoever tied you up was indeed high quality. It’s a shame that it was used for such a purpose.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** it was admittedly a fairly ingenious setup. Take shallow breaths and suffer or choke myself to death.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** And had you attempted to loosen your neck, you’d lose circulation to your arms. Not sure I could’ve done it better myself.

 **Mother Hen:** as interesting as it might sound to test, perhaps this is not the time? Ouma-kun looks about ready to try to strangle or otherwise maim you.

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Oh of course, of course. My apologies, I just get so curious sometimes. Perhaps we should all return to our rooms, or at least someone’s room in the case of a few pairs.

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** Guess that’d be smart. Cmon, Kaede

 **Undercut Goddess:** You go on ahead, I’ll catch up. Just wanna make sure Shuichi makes it to his room first

 **Mother Hen:** I will bring some ice chips and an ice pack by before the dining room locks tonight. For now just try to drink plenty of water and rest.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I will. Thank you Tojo-san.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...one problem with this plan, though.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Oh?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...I suspect I may have a slight concussion. I don’t think I can _stand_ , much less _walk_.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Oh no worries, I can carry you

 **UwU Menace:** the fuck you will piano girl

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Kiichi, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. Let Kaede help, please? You can fuss over me all you want after and I won’t complain.

 **UwU Menace:** ugh fine

 **UwU Menace:** but she has to carry me too

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** How rude! Kaede, the angel she is, offers to help out and you just try to make MORE trouble for her? Shouldn’t be surprised a degenerate male would act like this

 **Undercut Goddess:** Tenny, calm breaths

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Kiichi, is that really necessary…?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Woah. Okay. Nausea back. Room spinning.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Shit. Shu, just rest your head against my shoulder. Ouma can hop onto my back. Tenny, I’ll see you at my room

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:**...alright, Kaede

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …...whoever clocked me upside the head

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I will get you back for this.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** hate this

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** This sucks

 **Undercut Goddess:** I know that feel….

 **Salty Bean:** ...I think the sheer amount of upper body strength required to land a blow like that rules out a few people as possible culprits.

 **Undercut Goddess:** I mean, I think being made of metal would make less strength needed

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Hey, are you trying to fucking say this was Kii’s fault, you dumb bitch?

 **Undercut Goddess:** What? NO! I meant Monokuma or his brats

 **Salty Bean:** That’s possible… or a person using a tool of some sort. But nothing was found as far as I know.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** nah. Which means whoever it was probably took it with them. Though how they prevented a blood trail, I dunno.

 **Moronsexual:** Just gotta wrap the head with a towel or something

 **Salty Bean:** Well one of the psycho bears had to have _something_ to do with it to retract that wall. If an explosive had been used someone would have heard something and there’d be traces.

 **Moronsexual:** They also used one of their own as a distraction to open the wall in peace most likely. Though the fact that distraction led Akamatsu into the newly opened area means either it wasn’t intended as one or the Monokubs are idiots

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** possibly both.

 **Salty Bean:** the Monokubs really _aren't_ overwhelmingly intelligent…

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** no, _they_ aren't, but….

 **Lacks Common Sense:** but?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** but … I lost my thought.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Well I’d tell you to rest but I doubt Ouma would even let you go to the bathroom alone right now

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** normally I might be bothered?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** but me being alone at the moment is a recipe for disaster.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** So I’m okay with that.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Good

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** y’know, Kaede, you’re…

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** you’re really pretty.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** So’s Kiichi.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** i’unno how. I got so lucky. Yer both really pretty.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Ok? I think he’s losing it

 **Salty Bean:** a bit, but this will be hilarious to tease him with when he’s lucid again.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ...never occurred to me to think of the _gremlin_ as “pretty”. Shuichi must be _really_ out of it.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Or me

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ‘or me’ what?

 **Undercut Goddess:** I dont see myself as pretty

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Well, weird, because you definitely are.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** why would you think you’re not?

 **Undercut Goddess:** I don’t know, just never felt pretty

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ...still not sure I get it, but… everyone’s got their mental blocks, I guess?

 **Moronsexual:** Well you managed to get both Saihara and Chabashira to like you, so clearly you’re not as bad as you think

 **UwU Menace:** i dont know about anyone else but im _stunning_ so up shut yalls fuck

 **UwU Menace:** akamatsu youre attractive shut up >:(

 **Undercut Goddess:** Oh, ok… thats the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** And yet he told you to shut up while saying it

 **Undercut Goddess:** I’ve been told worse

 **Simps for Pretty Girls:** Well you shouldn’t have been!! I’ll punch any degenerate who says bad things to you!

 **Lacks Common Sense:** does it count if they compliment her in the same breath, though?

 **Salty Bean:** Ouma can give compliments. Who knew.

 **UwU Menace:** nvm i hate all of you

 **UwU Menace:** cept shuichi ofc <3 keebs is ok i guess 

**UwU Menace:** but fuck the rest of yall 

**Lacks Common Sense:** pfffff

 **Lacks Common Sense:** nice to know where we stand, I guess

 **Lacks Common Sense:** ...didn’t Amami already call dibs on fucking Hoshi though

 **Salty Bean:** _why must you bring that up_

 **Moronsexual:** Beats me, but he’s dumb like that

 **Sweet Bean:** Listen, the opportunity presented itself, I couldn’t not take it.

 **Salty Bean:** _will you quit making it worse_.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** adwfsffsfsaaDDS _pffffffffffffffffffffft_

 **Salty Bean:** do it and die, flyboy.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** so are you saying you _would_ or _would not_ sleep with Hoshi non-platonically if the opportunity presented itself.

 **Sweet Bean:** uh 

**Sweet Bean:** I plead the fifth?

 **Moronsexual:** Listen, if I have to be open about my feelings for my moron, you have to be open with your feelings

 **Salty Bean:** I am removing myself from this conversation.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ….is that a yes from Hoshi?

 **Salty Bean:** _I swear to fuck if you didn’t already have a head injury_.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _ooh, kinky~_

 **Salty Bean:** …………………………………………..

 **Sweet Bean:** Moving on

 **Sweet Bean:** I’m making chocolates!

 **Undercut Goddess:** You better fuckin save some for me, I’m on my way

 **Sweet Bean:** Yes Ma’am :D

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Nah, you didn’t answer the question, Amami. Pleading the fifth only works in the States. This is Japan. :P

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** oh good point.

 **Sweet Bean:** M o v i n g O n :)

 **Lacks Common Sense:** I think that’s a yes.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** The ship has officially sailed.

 **Salty Bean:** does that mean we can return it back on you four? Saihara and Ouma, and Momota and Harukawa?

 **Moronsexual:** No, shut it

 **UwU Menace:** try me little man :)

 **Sweet Bean:** Well I guess no chocolates for Saihara or Ouma :p

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** r u d e

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** easy question though. If the opportunity arose, yes.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** One word answer. Isn’t that hard.

**UwU Menace is offline**

**Sweet Bean:** Ah yes, it’s been awhile since we’ve heard a Ouma scream 

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Of course you males would discuss this on a public chat

 **Lacks Common Sense:** Chabashira’s turn then.

 **Simps For Pretty Girls:** W-What? Like I’d talk about this here

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Ow. Okay. Lesson learned. No flirty comments. With headache.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** that’s not a _no_ I’m hearing. Or reading.

**Simps For Pretty Girls is offline**

**Undercut Goddess:** Mmmmmm, such good chocolate

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …..I would ask but I value my life.

 **Lacks Common Sense:** chickening out _now_?

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** yes.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Chickening out? Of what?

 **Salty Bean:** just… read back.

 **Undercut Goddess:**...huh

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Alright then, I’m actually really tired so I’m gonna take a nap.

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs is offline**

**Lacks Common Sense:** just… don’t sleep too long. That’s one of the rules of concussions, right?

**UwU Menace is online**

**UwU Menace:** its been long enough since the blow but yeah im keeping an eye on him

 **Undercut Goddess:** Thank you, Ouma

 **Salty Bean:** ...surprised Harukawa isn’t going after Momota for actually answering the question.

 **Moronsexual:** Wait what? When?

 **Salty Bean:** It’s back a little ways.

 **Moronsexual:** Guess we need to have a little chat

 **Lacks Common Sense:** uuuhm..? Okay then? **(DM 1)**

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Whelp, Space Boy’s sleeping on the couch

 **Salty Bean:** serves him right.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Anyways, how’s Kiibo doing?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Eh, took a small bump when he overheated. I’m upgrading his cooling fans and adding more passive cooling capability

 **Salty Bean:** didn’t realize he could overheat from getting flustered. It’s kinda surprising this is the first time.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Well it won’t happen anymore once I’ve upgraded him

 **Salty Bean:** I can think of at least one person who might take that as a challenge.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** As tempting as that would be, I’m not gonna use my boyfriend for testing like that

 **Salty Bean:** I was thinking Ouma but you probably would too now that I actually think about it.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** If he even thinks of hurting Kii, I’ll break his knees

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Well then, Momota just sprinted across the hall. I wonder what has him moving so quickly.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Probably just a late night booty call

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** Must you always be so vulgar, Iruma?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Hell the fuck yes, Creepo

 **Salty Bean:** or late-night groveling, depending on how Harukawa reacted in their little chat.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Well I don’t really care right now, cause I’m about to wake Kii up

 **Salty Bean:** why do I have a feeling something’s about to go wrong

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Cause you’re a depressed midget. Now shut up before you jinx it

 **Mother Hen:** …...do let us know how it goes.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** Hm, some funky brain readings. I’ll have to ask him about that when he’s fully started up

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** Good evening everyone. (DM2)

 **Mother Hen:** Good evening Kiibo. How are you feeling?

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** I am well, thank you.

 **Salty Bean:** …...okay something’s fishy here.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Probably just nervous with Miu wrapped around him

 **Baby’s First Crush:** OK WHO THE FUCK MESSED WITH KII’S MEMORY BANK!!!! I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU

 **Mother Hen:** Iruma-san… no one but you touched him since he shut down….

 **Mother Hen:** is it possible that the reset did something?

 **Baby’s First Crush:** I don’t fuckin know, ok mom? Now get back to drinking and I’ll… I’ll…

 **Mother Hen:** would you like to come to my room? I’ll make tea.

 **Baby’s First Crush:** sure, whatever…(DM3)

**Baby’s First Crush is offline**

**Salty Bean:** ….well shit.

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ……????

 **Should Have Been a Teacher:** So, all your memories have disappeared?

 **Miu’s Loving Boyfriend:** ….I was able to recover some of them? But most of the ones involving Mi- Iruma-san appear to be corrupted and unrecoverable.

**UwU Menace has changed Miu’s Loving Boyfriend to Factory Reset**

**Factory Reset:** … I suspect I should be insulted, but that basically sums it up? So I really can’t be?

 **UwU Menace:** well there goes all the fun

 **Factory Reset:** …..I see. You wanted a reaction. My apologies.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Don’t mind him, he’s not doing too good himself. So… welcome to the group then, Kiibo

 **Factory Reset:** Thank you.

 **Factory Reset:** ….I’m going to try to see if there’s a way to make my memory files recoverable. Please excuse me.

**Factory Reset is offline**

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs is online**

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** _Ouma Kokichi_.

 **Salty Bean:** _someone's_ in some deep shit. Full name _and_ italics.

 **UwU Menace:** yes owo 

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Well I wish him luck.

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Bed. You haven’t slept in _far_ too long. Turn off the Monopad and _sleep_.

 **UwU Menace:** no >:(

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs** : I will get out of bed and drag you, nausea be damned. _Get over here_.

 **UwU Menace:** _wait no dont get out of bed Im coming >:((((( _

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Good. Now cuddles and sleep.

 **Undercut Goddess:** Sleep well, you two

 **Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** goodnight <3

 **Salty Bean:** using his own fussing against him, impressive.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Naps sound good right now

 **Salty Bean:** Unsurprising.

 **Snappy Beansprout:** Nyeh

 **Salty Bean:** Oi Ran, you still awake?

 **Sweet Bean:** What’s up?

 **Salty Bean:** Nothing, just… wondering.

 **Sweet Bean:** Ah. Well I know I could go for some cuddling tonight. If you want, you could join

 **Salty Bean:** …..sure

**~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1(After Maki says she needs to chat with Kaito)

 _Harukawa Maki:_ Kaitooooo, don’t embarrass me  
_Momota Kaito:_ ??? embarrass you how?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ I dont know, you’re just talking about us doing that and now I’m blushing and ughhhhh  
_Momota Kaito:_ Aw, I’m sorry Maki. Didn’t mean to embarrass you.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ I know. Just… weird feeling like this towards someone. Figured any chance of me finding someone I like was gone, much less them liking me back  
_Momota Kaito:_ You say stuff like that alot. Have you been rejected a lot because of your talent?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ More like had most of my humanity beaten out of me in preparation to become an assassin  
_Momota Kaito:_ …...who’s idea was _that_ . I just wanna _talk_ :))))))  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Pretty much standard practice for assassin training. Was probably one of the youngest so there might’ve been a couple changes made to account for my changing body  
_Momota Kaito:_ still cruel to subject a child to that.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Yea probably, but its not like I had no choice  
_Momota Kaito:_ So you’d be ok with your own kid going through that?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Shut Up  
_Harukawa Maki:_ I will never have kids.  
_Momota Kaito:_ Never, huh?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Never, I don’t want them living my life  
_Momota Kaito:_ I see. I guess that makes sense.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ The orphanage… the one I told you I grew up in… it belongs to the Organization. Any children their members had would be put into that place, with other kids from non-assassin parents, and the bastards would watch us from day one for new recruits  
_Momota Kaito:_ Well, they’d have to get through both parents for that to happen, wouldn’t they?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Not like there’s much choice. Either you give up your kid from birth or you try to hide as long as you can until you’re killed and they just take your kid. I was there from birth so clearly my mother didn’t try  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Not even sure why I’m saying all this, I got over it a long time ago and telling you just puts you in more danger  
_Momota Kaito:_ if that’s what you want, fine. But like hell I’m going to let any shady orphanage people threaten the girl I--... well, the girl I love, and keep her from living whatever dream she wants.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ You have no clue how powerful They are. Pretty sure as soon as we’re out of here, I’ll be taken away and retrained while you never see me again, probably getting captured pretty quickly when you inevitably try to come for me  
_Momota Kaito:_ They’d have to kill me to stop me. And I can think of a few people who would help me break you out, too.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ You realize they’re assassins, right? Killing you would be nothing to them. Also who the hell would help your dumb mission to get me?  
_Momota Kaito:_ Our friends here, obviously. I’m sure they wouldn’t just sit by and let you get taken away either.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Akamatsu plays piano, Saihara is just a detective, and Kirumi… ok she might be helpful  
_Momota Kaito:_ Hey, don’t underestimate how useful a smart detective that specializes in missing persons cases can be. Plus where he goes, Ouma goes. Same with Chabashira and Akamatsu. Plus then there’s Hoshi, who isn’t exactly a stranger to taking down shady people when he has to.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ why do you have to be so stupidly optimistic… and why the hell am I falling for it?  
_Momota Kaito:_ I might be an idiot, but like hell is anyone going to threaten you and get away with it while I can do something about it. You don’t want kids, fine. But I’ll be damned if I let you give up on _yourself_ before you’ve even had a chance to really _live_ .  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Geez, why you gotta be so convincing? Almost considering going along with your insane dream  
_Momota Kaito:_ My grandpa always says that you _have_ to be able to dream big to reach the stars. So that’s what I do.  
_Momota Kaito:_ I just… have a personal star to aim for now.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ >////////////<  
_Harukawa Maki:_ You did that on purpose!  
_Momota Kaito:_ ...possibly, what did I do this time?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Made me squeak and blush. God, you’re lucky I love you and your dumb sappy brain  
_Momota Kaito:_ Yeah. Yeah I definitely am. <3  
_Harukawa Maki:_ I hate you <3  
_Momota Kaito:_ I love you too.  
_Momota Kaito:_ ….hey Maki?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ What is it?  
_Momota Kaito:_ ..can I ask you something crazy?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Are you saying you don’t constantly say crazy things?  
_Momota Kaito:_ ...ouch, but fair  
_Momota Kaito:_ but I mean…. Something that sounds kinda crazy even to me.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Ok, go ahead, Kaito  
_Momota Kaito:_ When we get out of here…. Marry me.  
_Momota Kaito:_ I know we’re still in high school, but I couldn’t be more sure that you’re the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Even when it involves running from questionable organizations.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ ...oh  
_Momota Kaito:_ oh?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ I see. You want to get married  
_Harukawa Maki:_ To me  
_Harukawa Maki:_ I see  
_Momota Kaito:_ Yes, I do.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ I’m… at a loss.  
_Momota Kaito:_ Why so?  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Cause people who are serious about each other marry and you just asked me to marry you which means you’re serious about me and that just makes no sense cause I’m just an empty shell that kills, not a person and people get married not shells  
_Momota Kaito:_ You’re not a shell. You’re a wonderfully caring person who I’m amazed actually opened up to me. But the more you did, the more I realized what an amazing person you are. I know you probably think I’m an idiot for chasing after you and wearing you down, but honestly, I couldn’t be happier that you _let_ me. So yeah, I’m serious about you.  
_Harukawa Maki:_ Kaito… could you come to my room? I want to say something in person  
_Momota Kaito:_ yeah, sure. On my way.

**~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 2 (When Kiibo wakes up)

 _Iruma Miu:_ Kii! You’re awake! Oh god I missed you  
_K1-B0:_ ...my apologies for concerning you.  
_K1-B0:_ ...you are the one who.. Repaired me, correct?  
_K1-B0:_ I hate to trouble you, but there appear to be some.. Gaps in my memory bank.  
_K1-B0:_ ...what is your name?  
_Iruma Miu:_ The fuck kinda prank is this, Kii? Just cause I’m fuckin dating you doesn’t mean I’ll play along with bad pranks  
_K1-B0:_ ...I apologise for distressing you, miss, but I honestly do not remember.  
_K1-B0:_ ...we are… dating?  
_K1-B0:_ that is the term for two humans who engage in romantic activities together, correct?  
_Iruma Miu:_ no… NO FUCKING WAY!!!  
_K1-B0:_ ...I don’t understand… have I offended you in some way?  
_Iruma Miu:_ you gotta have some fucking backup and shit somewhere. theres no goddamn way your memories are fucking gone. where the hell are the backups?!?!  
_K1-B0:_ I… will try to access memory backups…  
_K1-B0:_ …..my apologies, but most of the files appear to be corrupted. I will attempt to download the uncorrupted files, however. One Moment.  
_Iruma Miu:_ ...yea… sure whatever…  
_K1-B0:_ ……  
_K1-B0:_ ...wait… where are you going?  
_Iruma Miu:_ tea with mom

**~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 3 (After Kirumi invites Miu to her room for tea.)

 _Tojo Kirumi:_ ….Miu….  
_Iruma Miu:_ thanks for the tea  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ Of course. I know this must be difficult for you.  
_Iruma Miu:_ i guess  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ ...would you like to talk about it?  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ You don’t have to, I just thought I should offer.  
_Iruma Miu:_ dont know why i didnt expect him to leave me too  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ He’s still here, Miu. He knows something isn’t right, at least.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I’m not an expert in robotics or computers by any means, but are corrupted memories… not fixable?  
_Iruma Miu:_ hard to say, with how old school his tech is i wouldnt be surprised if it was too far gone  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I see.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ So what do you intend to do from this point?  
_Iruma Miu:_ bury myself in my lab and never come out  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ and with Kiibo? I assume you told him, or implied, that you two were dating when trying to ascertain the state of his memories?  
_Iruma Miu:_ he just gave a flat explanation of what dating is  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ He does seem to have reverted to the state he was in when we first met him. That sounds like something he would have done then.  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ Whether or not his memory returns, what do _you_ want from your relationship with him going forward?  
_Iruma Miu:_ i dont know. I just wish i didnt feel like this  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ That’s entirely understandable. He may still be here but he isn’t the same person he was.  
_Iruma Miu:_ well ill be in my lab if anyone needs me  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ Perhaps you should try to get some rest first? It’s nearly nighttime.  
_Iruma Miu:_ i can sleep in there  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I’m sure you can, but I doubt it’s exactly comfortable.  
_Iruma Miu:_ nope  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ I must insist you sleep on a _bed_ tonight. Going to your lab alone is only likely to remind you more of what’s been lost.  
_Iruma Miu:_ what if he’s still in my room?  
_Tojo Kirumi:_ You are more than welcome to stay the night in here.  
_Iruma Miu:_ thank you, tojo

###  **////Chapter Ten End\\\\\\\\\**

Name List

Saihara Shuichi: Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs  
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace  
Akamatsu Kaede: Undercut Goddess  
Chabashira Tenko: Simps for Pretty Girls  
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense  
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual  
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean  
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty Bean  
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen  
Shinguji Korekiyo: Should Have Been a Teacher  
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush  
K1-B0: Factory Reset  
Yonaga Angie: Atua’s Messenger  
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout  
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia  
Shirogane Tsumugi: Struggling Fangirl


	11. I Now Pronounce You Mrs. Moron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire: We gots fluff, we gots angst, we even gots a proposal. Enjoy  
> Multi: oh boy was this chapter fun. Ryoma gets a bit of a chance to shine, which I adore. Also "upshutyourfuck" is a line I absolutely stole from my boyfriend.

**Lacks Common Sense:** gooooood morning everyone!

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Good morning, you appear to be in quite a good mood.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Yep! :D

**Arachnophobia:** Oh, did friend find cool bug in pillow?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Nah, still no bugs. Turns out cuddles do good things for sleeping habits.

**UwU Menace:** owo question mark

**Moronsexual:** Kaitoooo, where’s coffee?

**Lacks Common Sense:** ..in the dining room, probably. Getting some requires getting out of bed, though.

**Moronsexual:** Not allowed

**Undercut Goddess:** Awwwww

**Lacks Common Sense:** yeah I thought as much.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Guess Gonta was right, that’s a pretty big cuddle bug you’ve got

**Arachnophobia:** NBIG BUG>? SHOW GONTA!!!

**Lacks Common Sense:** It’s just Maki, big guy. “Cuddle bug” is an expression, not an actual bug.

**Arachnophobia:** Oh… Gonta understand

**Mother Hen:** Good morning everyone. Breakfast will be ready shortly.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** How was your night with the foul mouth inventor?

**Mother Hen:** it went as well as can be expected. I believe she is still sleeping.

**Lacks Common Sense:** She stayed in your room, I take it?

**Mother Hen:** Indeed.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I trust she didn’t attempt anything crude around you.

**Mother Hen:** Not at all.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Good, I’m glad to hear that.

**Undercut Goddess:** Speaking of Iruma, has anyone seen Kiibo today?

**Lacks Common Sense:** No, I haven’t. Is he maybe still trying to fix whatever the hell went wrong yesterday?

**Struggling Fangirl:** Possibly. That was quite plain shocking last night

**Lacks Common Sense:** ….I feel bad for Iruma, honestly. Something like that can’t be easy to deal with.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Yea, I don’t know what I’d do if Kaede woke up with no memories one day

**Undercut Goddess:** Oh, Tenny. I could never forget you

**Lacks Common Sense:** I’m sure Kiibo and Iruma thought the same thing.

**UwU Menace:** way to kill the mood dummy >:(

**Lacks Common Sense:** yeah yeah. Sorry, Akamatsu, Chabashira. I just wish there was something we could  _ do _ , y’know?

**Undercut Goddess:** Maybe we could find him and try to catch him up on what’s happened. Maybe that will wake up some of his memories?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Worth a shot, anyway.

**Factory Reset:** Good morning.

**Undercut Goddess:** Oh good morning, Kiibo. How are you feeling?

**Factory Reset:** Rather lost, really.

**Factory Reset:** It is… extremely unsettling to  _ know _ memories one should have are missing, and not be able to do anything about it.

**Undercut Goddess:** Yea that must be rough. Well I'm Akamatsu, I play the piano and am dating Chabashira

**Factory Reset:** ...Chabashira? My last recovered memory is you and… Saihara?

**Undercut Goddess:** Ah, well we both decided that while we did care for each other, there were different people we wanted to date

**Factory Reset:** I see. Well, I am happy that you figured that out.

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta already know Kiibo but Tojo say reintroduce, so Gonta happy to meet you

**Factory Reset:** Hello Gonta. Any luck finding any bugs, or still nothing?

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta think Kaito find one, but it just Scary Girl

**Factory Reset:** Scary Girl?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Ah, probably Maki.

**Factory Reset:** I see. And you two are… dating, as well, if my recovered memories are correct?

**Moronsexual:** Um… that’s one way to describe it

**Factory Reset:** ...what would be another way?

**Lacks Common Sense:** You okay with telling everyone, Maki?

**Moronsexual:** so, he may have asked me last night to become Mrs Moron

**Moronsexual:** and I may have said yes

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Did anyone else get their ears stabbed by a very loud, high pitched squeal?

**Undercut Goddess:** Sorry, that was me. But OH MY GOD CONGRATS YOU TWO!

**Mother Hen:** ...thankfully I think I was far enough away? But indeed, congratulations are in order!

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** wazzgoingon. What was that noise?

**Lacks Common Sense:** :DDDDDDD

**Undercut Goddess:** SHUICHI! OUR FRIENDS ARE ENGAGED!!!!!

**Moronsexual:** s’not a big deal, guys

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** our who is what? ...still waking up, give me a minute please.

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** …!!! That’s awesome! Congratulations you two!

**Lacks Common Sense:** haha, thanks! :D

**Moronsexual:** It’s really no big deal. We don’t even have rings or wedding plans

**Undercut Goddess:** _ You dont even have rings… _

**Lacks Common Sense:** I was planning to look in the warehouse today for materials to make rings. Not that I know  _ how _ , but it would be something, at least.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** That sounds quite romantic. If you require my assistance, I would be glad to.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Actually, I could probably use the help. If my beautiful fiancee will let me get up.

**Moronsexual:** Fine, I need coffee anyways. Don’t get into any trouble

**Lacks Common Sense:** I’ll try not to. Wish us luck finding something useful in that place

**Mother Hen:** not before eating breakfast.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Right, of course.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Not a problem, since the warehouse is right across the hall from the dining room.

**Arachnophobia:** Um… Gonta see Iruma and she not yelling

**Factory Reset:** ...where..?

**Mother Hen:** Ah, she’s awake then?

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** After that shriek I don't know how anyone is still sleeping.

**Sweet Bean:** Trust me, sleep is far gone now

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta see her walk outside

**Mother Hen:** @Baby’s First Crush no lab access until after you’ve eaten.

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** hmmm. Food sounds good but so does more sleep.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Not hungry

**Mother Hen:** Then at least come get something to take with you.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Fine

**UwU Menace:** wooooow a well behaved miu

**UwU Menace:** wonder if she can learn tricks

**Undercut Goddess:** …

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Looks like someone else needs more sleep too.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...sleep fixes asshole?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Focus, Momota. This is a very large warehouse we must search.

**UwU Menace:** if sleep fixed asshole youd need to be put in a coma momoron

**UwU Menace:** i have slept  _ enough _ shuichi

**Lacks Common Sense:** Oh. Yeah, of course.

**Lacks Common Sense:** whatever, gremlin

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...well come back to bed anyway. I still don’t feel so good and cuddles help.

**UwU Menace:** this is guilt tripping and you know it

**UwU Menace:** but fineeeeeee youre lucky youre cute -_-

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Yes, yes it is.

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I love you too. <3

**UwU Menace:** disgusting <3

**Mother Hen:** …..Saihara is getting very good at that. I wonder what will happen if he decides to turn that skill on someone besides Ouma.

**Undercut Goddess:** As his ex, I can confirm he has some kind of power. There were several sleepless nights at the piano that he dragged me away from

**Mother Hen:** His dedication to others’ self-care is admirable. Also his ability to understand what Ouma says versus what he means.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I still think it’s that he’s been infected with Gremlin. Just a matter of time till he starts acting more like the original one

**Factory Reset:** It seems similar to how Momota is able to understand Harukawa better than anyone else, at least to me.

**Moronsexual:** Not sure what you mean, I’m pretty straightforward

**Factory Reset:** I don’t mean to dispute that, but sometimes it can be hard to tell from your voice and text alone whether you’re angry or just tired, for example. But Momota seems to know anyway.

**Moronsexual:** That’s just cause he’s always wrapped around me or trying to get me to do some dumb activity out of nowhere

**Factory Reset:** I see. It’s just exposure, then? That would also explain Saihara and Ouma, if my recovered memory is correct.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Ah, the time tested trope of two people growing close and gaining special understanding of each other

**Moronsexual:** Do you ever stop talking like this is a fanfiction?

**Sweet Bean:** Who knows, maybe we are just a piece of fiction 

**Undercut Goddess:** Annnnd you’re back on that

**Salty Bean:** alright philosophy major.

**Sweet Bean:** ( ^ω^ )

**Arachnophobia:** Philosophy?

**Salty Bean:** the field of study for people who constantly pose existential questions, especially at ungodly hours of the morning.

**Factory Reset:** ...it’s 10 am?

**Salty Bean:** Yes.

**Sweet Bean:** Yoma here seems to need 14 hours of sleep to function properly :p

**Salty Bean:** or maybe it’s just not sleeping alone that does the trick.

**Snappy Beansprout:** 14 hours is nothing. I once slept for three days straight. Woke up in a hospital with some weirdos saying I was in a coma, but I know it was just my magic

**Sweet Bean:** ...three days straight….. that’s, concerning 

**Mother Hen:** Was there something that happened before that? An unusually large spell, perhaps?

**Snappy Beansprout:** The biggest I’ve ever done. I broke a cinderblock with a magical headbutt. I used so much magic the whole world turned red for a while. After the show ended, I went to the back and fell asleep to recharge

**Mother Hen:** I see. That must have been a scary spell to perform.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Yea, my parents were really freaked out about how much mana it used so I wasn’t allowed to perform it again. But they at least realized how powerful I am and began taking me to all sorts of magical trainings

**Sweet Bean:** Well that was certainly nice of them, I’m glad they let you explore your talent

**Moronsexual:** That… just don’t try it again, Yumeno. I don’t think any of us are ready to see that kind of performance

**Mother Hen:** ...I must agree with Harukawa.

**Snappy Beansprout:** I suppose I can continue performing other magic. Especially since it’s been a while since my last magic show

**Undercut Goddess:** Thank you, Yumeno. Gonta, how’s Iruma doing?

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta see her hit piece of metal with hammer again and again for long while. Not use much force so it taking long time

**Factory Reset:** …… I know this is my fault, but I don’t believe approaching her would be helpful in this case…?

**Mother Hen:** What makes you say that?

**Factory Reset:** I… can’t really explain it? Just a feeling I have.

**Undercut Goddess:** First of all, this isn’t at all your fault…. But you’re probably right about her seeing you right now being a bad idea

**Moronsexual:** Say, Akamatsu. What’s that red mark on your neck?

**Undercut Goddess:** Mark? What mark? I don’t see a mark

**Sweet Bean:** _ is that a hickey _

**Undercut Goddess:** >////////////////<

**Moronsexual:** ….I actually just wished Iruma was here to make one of her shitty remarks. The hell’s wrong with me?

**Struggling Fangirl:** You two are friends now

**Moronsexual:** I hate it. Make it stop

**Struggling Fangirl:** Y’know, you’re starting to remind me of a cat. You hissed last night and now you’re trying to pretend you don’t care about others

**Factory Reset:** ...I’m confused as to how this isn’t my fault. It’s my memory that’s faulty?

**Salty Bean:** ...honestly, teasing someone might help her feel a bit better?

**Salty Bean:** Are those two really the only couple that got heated last night, though? Somehow I have my doubts.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Indeed, Harukawa became engaged last night. Wouldn’t surprise me if something happened between her and Momota

**Moronsexual:** We cuddled then fell asleep. That’s all

**Struggling Fangirl:** I suppose that’s believable 

**Moronsexual:** Believe it, or don’t. Just don’t act like you get to talk about our private interactions

**Salty Bean:** also surprisingly innocent. But I definitely believe it. Not much beats being curled up with someone you care for.

**Sweet Bean:** Nothing beats cuddling with you Ryoma <3

**Salty Bean:** upshutyourfuck.

**Sweet Bean:** _ never _

**Salty Bean:** _ugh_

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Harukawa, I regret to inform you that your fiancé got stuck on top of a very high shelf.

**Moronsexual:** Of course he did… why do I love that moron…

**Sweet Bean:** Because your character was written that way?

**Struggling Fangirl:** You say such weird things, Amami

**Sweet Bean:** It’s my specialty :)

**Salty Bean:** is it or do you just like weirding people out.

**Salty Bean:** or both.

**Sweet Bean:** Both is good, I like both

**Undercut Goddess:** I feel that, my fellow Bi

**Salty Bean:** ………..

**Undercut Goddess:** ...just realized we got off track. We’re supposed to be helping Kiibo and Iruma

**Salty Bean:** We’re doing what now?

**Factory Reset:** you know how to recover corrupted memory files?

**Undercut Goddess:** um… No but I’m really good at playing piano and people say I’m too optimistic and willing to help

**Factory Reset:** …..I appreciate the assistance.

**Undercut Goddess:** So! We just have to get you two talking again

**Salty Bean:** ...I… suppose that could work..?

**Undercut Goddess:** Of course it will, we just have to trust in them

**Undercut Goddess:** Hey Gonta, what’s Iruma doing?

**Arachnophobia:** Iruma lay with head on table, hear crying

**Salty Bean:** ...I’m gonna go talk to her.

**Salty Bean is offline**

**Sweet Bean:** You got this honey 

**Undercut Goddess:** Good luck!

**Arachnophobia:** Small man send Gonta away. What now?  **(DM 1)**

**Undercut Goddess:** Take a rest, you did good

**Sweet Bean:** ^

**Mother Hen:** For now we should trust Hoshi-san to help Iruma-san. So we should do what we can to assist Kiibo. Perhaps Akamatsu’s piano skills could help?

**Factory Reset:** No offense to Akamatsu-san, but how will listening to music help?

**Mother Hen:** Music can be connected to memory.

**Undercut Goddess:** Imma pretend you didn’t say music would be pointless, Kiibo. TO THE PIANO ROOM!

**Factory Reset:** ….alright..?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Don’t worry, she just gets very intense when music comes up

**Mother Hen:** Music has strange effects on humans. It’s worth a try, at least.

**Undercut Goddess:** Alright, I’m a little rusty on this one but here goes

**Factory Reset:** ….I feel like… I’ve heard this before?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I think I’ve heard Iruma hum this occasionally when she’s concentrating 

**Factory Reset:** I… oh. That would… explain it.

**Factory Reset:** I… I’m sorry I… don’t know what’s come over me….

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** It’s fine. People are emotional, especially with music

**Factory Reset:** …...for some reason the story behind this song seems familiar…

**Factory Reset:** _Damn it_. Why can’t I remember?!

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Woah, careful. We don’t want you overheating again and frying more memories

**Factory Reset:** It may simply be a fault in my programming but I…..

**Factory Reset:** ...if it would end the pain I’m clearly causing her I would rather that happen?

**Moronsexual:** I come back from saving my dumbass to someone considering killing themself. Why do I even try

**Sweet Bean:** How about we  _ not _ go down that rabbit hole

**Sweet Bean:** Kiibo, please, if we can’t recover your old memories we’ll make new ones. Pain happens, the best we can do is help Iruma through it. And I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate you doing that because you thought it was best for her. 

**Factory Reset:** of course, you’re correct. My apologies. I had a… moment of weakness, I suppose.

**Undercut Goddess:** It happens to us all. But life is like a score, you can’t just stop playing halfway through. You gotta push through till the end, cause that’s the only way it’ll be complete

**Undercut Goddess:** As long as there is life in your body, you gotta keep playing with your whole self

**Factory Reset:** I…. yes, that makes sense.

**Undercut Goddess:** Speaking of playing, I’ll get back to it. Maybe some Debussy…

**Factory Reset:** Debussy?

**Undercut Goddess:** One of my personal favorite composers

**Sweet Bean:** If you play Claire de Lune I will cry on you, don’t test me 

**Undercut Goddess:** Oh really? Then in that case...

**Lacks Common Sense:** Why would that song make you cry but not the one she just played.

**Sweet Bean:** Reasons.

**Sweet Bean:** Oh you bitch,  _ I don’t mean that ofc <3 _

**Salty Bean is online**

**Sweet Bean:** Ryomaaaa come baccckkkkk

**Salty Bean:** what? Why?

**Sweet Bean:** Akamatsu is being mean and I need cuddles please 

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Oh quit being such a boy and listen peacefully 

**Salty Bean:** oh leave him be. Oi, Kiibo, she’s asking for you.

**Factory Reset:** She is? I’ll be there in a moment.

**Salty Bean:** I’ll leave you two be. Now where the hell did my idiot run off to? 

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I think he’s looking for tissues

**Salty Bean:** @Sweet Bean the hell are you.

**Sweet Bean:** In the restroom…

**Salty Bean:** okay well you’d better come out if you want cuddles ‘cause I’m not going in there for that.

**Sweet Bean:** djkdslslslddl

**Sweet Bean:** yessir

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Please don’t be gross in the piano room

**Salty Bean:** _You_ have _zero_ room to talk, Chabashira.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I’ve been working on getting better

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Besides, Kaede would kill me if I made any moves on her in here

**Salty Bean:** understandably so with the speakers going.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Yup, makes for some great self-control exercises

**Salty Bean:** That’s an interesting way to look at it. 

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I mean, she was always gorgeous and amazing. Her new haircut and the way she changes with a piano at her fingertips just makes her a goddess almost

**Salty Bean:** heh, I know what you mean, actually. Before she died, my girlfriend played violin. I could only ever stare in awe when she would play. 

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I’m sorry for your loss

**Salty Bean:** Thanks.

**Salty Bean:** There’s just something about watching creative types go…

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Yea… they’re something else

**Snappy Beansprout:** nyehhh, does anyone else feel like someone’s watching them?

**Struggling Fangirl:** I think you might be sensing Tojo. Oh, has your magic become so strong you can sense other people’s power levels?

**Mother Hen:** That would be interesting.

**Snappy Beansprout:** you don’t gotta make fun of me…

**Struggling Fangirl:** Huh? I wasn’t trying to make fun of you. Sorry, Yumeno

**Mother Hen:** Indeed, that was not my intention. It would indeed be interesting if you had increased your skill to such a level.

**Snappy Beansprout:** ...ok, I believe you

**Salty Bean:** that seems to be your first reaction frequently. Did you get made fun of a lot before coming here, Yumeno?

**Snappy Beansprout:** Mhm

**Mother Hen:** That’s not good.

**Salty Bean:** one way to put it, but yeah.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Mama told me to ignore them, but it’s hard to in school

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** How utterly cruel of your peers. I have half a mind to pay them a visit.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Thanks, papa, but that seems like too much work

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** … I’m sorry, did you just call me papa?

**Snappy Beansprout:** Well, you and mommy Kirumi are close like the other couples so you’re kinda like a papa

**Lacks Common Sense:** …...oi, Shinguji, you alright down there…?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** yes, my apologies everybody. Just a small blip

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Little Himiko, I see the wonderful Kirumi as like my sister.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Oh, ok. Sorry then

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Worry not, I’m glad that even in death my dear sister is with me.

**Sweet Bean:** You must have been very close to your sister, I’m sorry for your loss. I have no idea what I’d do if one of my sisters died.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...alright. Had me worried for a second there…

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Won’t happen again. How goes your search?

**Lacks Common Sense:** I found a blowtorch? But otherwise nothing remotely useful.

**Moronsexual:** It’s fine, Kaito. Wasn’t that serious about the rings

**Lacks Common Sense:** …..hold up. ….hey Shinguji, think this could work as a substitute?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** With a little work, I believe it will be splendid.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Hell yeah!

**Mother Hen:** ….I must admit to being curious

**Moronsexual:** Same here, since he’s not showing me

**Lacks Common Sense:** You’ll see it when it’s done, Maki. :)

**Moronsexual:** -_-

**Salty Bean:** This should be interesting.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ooooh, that might work too…..

**Moronsexual:** ugh, this is no fair. I’m going to the pool

**Lacks Common Sense:** sorry, Maki. I think you’ll like it, though.

**Moronsexual:** I know, Kaito

**Moronsexual is offline**

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** That was quite the show of emotion and humanity from our dear Miss Assassin.

**Mother Hen:** Do let us know if you require any crafting assistance.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Will do.

**Atua’s Messenger:** I come to let Atua offer my services

**Lacks Common Sense:** thanks :)

**~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (After Ryoma sends Gonta away)

_ Iruma Miu:  _ oh hey, short stuff. what do you need made?   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Nothin’, just came to check on you.   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ why would you. not like i did much to make myself approachable    
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ‘cause I know what it’s like to have your whole world pulled out from under your feet unexpectedly like you just had happen.   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ ...i envy your situation. at least you didn’t have to basically see a ghost walking around   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ That is true. But there’s one thing you have that I didn’t.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ He might not have the same memories, but he’s still the same person you fell in love with the first time.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ It’ll be painful, there’s no sugarcoating that part. But you have a chance to rebuild  _ something _ . If you want to.   
_ Iruma Miu _ : it took so much effort to open up once. i dont know if i have it in me to do it again   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ And that’s entirely fair. I didn’t either, not for a long time. You don’t have to make a decision on it right away, either. If you need time, take it.   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ ok… thanks for helping, short stuff   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ ...this song… haven’t heard it in forever   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Oh? It’s very pretty.   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ mom used to play piano as a hobby, would play this as my lullaby. then she started getting drunk more and more so she rarely had the coordination to play much. But the nights she wasn’t blacked out, she’d still hum it to me.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Damn. At least it has some good memories attached?   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ one of the few good memories i had of her as I grew up   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ geez, did no one in this hellhole have a happy childhood?   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ that loud space cadet probably. seems like the kinda guy who had stuff work out for himself   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Hm. Maybe.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ...I don’t know if it will help, but I don’t think his memories are completely gone? He’s still affected by them, it looks like.   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ Huh? How so?   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ...did you tell him anything about this song? Because apparently hearing it made him think of you.   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ He heard me humming it while I was working on him one time and I told him about the lullaby thing   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ That would do it. The memories attached may be unavailable but the emotions surrounding them seem to be there.    
_ Iruma Miu:  _ Then… maybe he’s still in there   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ It definitely looks that way.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ My idiot is calling. Do you want me to send yours this way? Or would you rather be alone for a bit?   
_ Iruma Miu:  _ um… I’d like some company    
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Alright.

###  **/////Chapter Eleven End\\\\\\\\\**

What Kaede Plays: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VR-6AS0-l4

Name List

Saihara Shuichi: Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs   
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace   
Akamatsu Kaede: Undercut Goddess   
Chabashira Tenko: Simps for Pretty Girls   
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense   
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual   
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean   
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty bean   
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush   
K1-B0: Factory Reset   
Shinguji Korekiyo: Should Have Been a Teacher   
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen   
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout   
Yonaga Angie: Atua’s Messenger   
Shirogane Tsumugi: Struggling Fangirl   
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia


	12. A Disappointing Movie Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire: Alright, motive videos time. Here's hoping this doesn't leave lasting mental scars on any of our characters
> 
> Tango: Ah-haha very funny Fire👁👄👁 ahaha, but on another note MOTIVE TIME MOTIVE TIME MOTIVE TIME

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ...so, I found some tablets with people’s names on them in my room… then I remembered what they were.

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** The “reward” for figuring out people’s names when Monokuma changed them.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...honestly I had completely forgotten those were a thing?

**Mother Hen:** Who has whose, does anyone remember?

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I have tablets belonging to Kokichi, Korekiyo, Kiibo, Yonaga and Gonta. The only other person who has as many is Korekiyo, who has the videos belonging to Kaito, Chabashira, Tojo, Hoshi, and me.

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I believe Kaede should have hers and Iruma’s. Kiibo should have Shirogane’s, who has Amami’s. I don’t recall who has Yumeno-chan’s video, or Harukawa’s.

**Simps for Pretty Girls:** I’ve got Yumeno’s, Saihara.

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Oh, that’s right. That’s how we figured out what the “prize” was, wasn’t it?

**Mother Hen:** Indeed. Now the question is… do we want to see them?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Hard to say. Monokuma intended them to give us reason to kill.

**UwU Menace:** i vote yes to watching them :D

**Lacks Common Sense:** of course  _ you _ do.

**Salty Bean:** I agree with Ouma.

**Struggling Fangirl:** I think it would be smart to at least see them so we aren’t bugged by what they could show

**Lacks Common Sense:** you guys too?

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I think we should see them too. Not as a motive to kill, but as a reminder of who we have to  _ escape _ for.

**Lacks Common Sense:** …..I guess that makes sense…

**Undercut Goddess:** Should we watch them together or on our own?

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** I don't think we should watch them alone? But as a big group isn't exactly necessary either?

**Undercut Goddess:** Guess that’s fair

**UwU Menace:** watch party watch party watch party 

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** You just want to pry into all us girls’ business

**UwU Menace:** ew like i care about your motive 

**UwU Menace:** puhlease

**Lacks Common Sense:** then why do you want a "watch party" if you don't care?

**UwU Menace:** cuz itll make it more fun question mark

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** How so? Perhaps it will simply make us suspect certain people.

**UwU Menace:** well we wont know unless we watch them :)

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** Given that these were created by Monokuma, we have no reason to believe that they're just going to show us messages from people we care about. There's got to be more to it than just that in order to actually motivate someone to kill. Sitting through Monokuma's mind games alone can't be healthy for anyone.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...well when you put it that way, a watch party doesn't sound quite so ridiculous.

**UwU Menace:** woowwww but when i say it it sounds ridiculous 

**UwU Menace:** im so offended right now T-T

**Lacks Common Sense:** it's not like you've really given us any reason to trust you, so I don't know why you're surprised.

**Lacks Common Sense:** you not having some kind of ulterior motive is almost as suspicious as  _ Monokuma _ not having one.

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** ….. where exactly do you think I got my reason to support the watch party?

**Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs:** because it certainly wasn't mine.

**Lacks Common Sense has changed Fuzzy Wuzzy OwOs to Gremlin Translator**

**Gremlin Translator:** …… ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**UwU Menace:** this is linguistic >:(

**Sweet Bean:** ...Linguistic?

**UwU Menace:** racist against languages ;-;

**Sweet Bean:** ….no

**Gremlin Translator:** ….. Kiichi. Dearest. That's not how that works.

**UwU Menace:** well it should 

**UwU Menace:** but off topic  _ watch party watch party watch party _

**Salty Bean:** I'm not overly sure about this idea…

**Mother Hen:** it does make sense in theory…?

**Moronsexual:** Well I’m not watching mine so doesn’t really matter to me 

**Lacks Common Sense:** I wouldn’t  _ mind _ watching mine..? I guess a viewing party might not be so bad.

**Moronsexual:** Alright I vote viewing party then

**Struggling Fangirl:** Wow, just like that?

**Moronsexual:** You got a problem with that?

**Salty Bean:** can we just opt to be moral support and not watch our own.

**Moronsexual:** I'm only gonna be there for Kaito. I already know who’s gonna be in my video.

**Salty Bean:** I have a suspicion about mine but I really hope I'm wrong.

**Mother Hen:** I don't imagine mine will be very interesting.

**Gremlin Translator:** So when do we want to do this?

**Undercut Goddess:** Tomorrow night?

**Gremlin Translator:** Sounds like a plan to me, unless anyone has any objections?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I shall be there.

**UwU Menace:** lets watch them right now exclamation point

**Lacks Common Sense:** So is that you volunteering to go first.

**UwU Menace:** sure best for first

**Mother Hen:** ...why right now..? What’s wrong with tomorrow

**UwU Menace:** i dont like waiting >:(

**Undercut Goddess:** Fine, whatever. Has anyone seen Iruma or Kiibo today?

**Gremlin Translator:** No, I haven’t

**Lacks Common Sense:** They’ve both kinda been keeping to themselves today.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I attempted to greet Iruma and she told me to “fuck off”.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Ugh, guess we’re back to constantly hearing her swear

**Lacks Common Sense:** seems like improvement?

**Salty Bean:** It does. So  _ where _ are we doing this? If it’s going to be today to shut the child up.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Might as well use the AV room again

**Mother Hen:** ...we could turn it into another movie night? Beginning with the second Indiana Jones film. That earned an amusing rant :)

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Well I can’t help how horribly researched that movie was. A circus clown could have researched better.

**Undercut Goddess:** Alright I’ll go grab Iruma. Meet you guys downstairs

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Alright, Matsu

**Mother Hen:** ...perhaps add The Mummy to the pile :))

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Seems I will need to bring a second water bottle with me today.

**UwU Menace:** ughhhhhh hurry uuupppppp

**Salty Bean:** ...I’m assuming we’ll find out what’s so amusing when we watch the movies?

**Factory Reset:** ...I can hear someone giggling. Whoever it is has a very pleasant laugh.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** That is likely Kirumi you’re hearing.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Alright alright Im here you fucking virgins. What shit are you all bothering me for?

**Factory Reset:** I’m not sure, but apparently it’s going to turn into movie night. May I sit by you, Iruma-san?

**Baby’s First Crush:** Whatever, don’t give a shit

**Undercut Goddess:** Iruma, behave

**Baby’s First Crush:** Fuck off

**UwU Menace:** shut up whore before i shut you up myself

**Baby’s First Crush:** Yea right, gremlin. But fine, let’s get this over with

**Factory Reset has muted UwU Menace**

**Factory Reset:** That’s more than enough out of you.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Tch, you didn’t have to do that, Bot Butt

**Factory Reset:** Perhaps not, but I wanted to.

**Baby’s First Crush:** ...thanks I guess

**Moronsexual:** Alright, who’s up first?

**Salty Bean:** I believe the menace volunteered

**Moronsexual:** Guess now we get to see someone who cares about him outside of the school

**Undercut Goddess has unmuted UwU Menace**

**UwU Menace:** uwu :3

_ The quiet rustling of people settling down slowly stopped as the screen flickered on. Kokichi snickered when he saw the photo of the members of DICE with him standing proudly in the middle. His laughter was quickly cut off when Monokuma’s voice started emitting from the speakers.  _

_ “This motive video is for Ouma Kokichi, the Ultimate Supreme Leader. Ouma banded together with the worthless and rats of the street and quickly became their leader. They became the non-violent prank group DICE. Now that Ouma has been trapped here, whatever could have happened to the other 9 members of this silly organization?” _

_ Kokichi eyes widened slightly when the picture on screen turned to a photo of his group members sitting solemnly in a jail cell. The words “Find Out After Graduation” flashed on screen as Monokuma said them out loud. The screen then turned back to its familiar shade of black.  _

**UwU Menace:** well that fucking sucked

**UwU Menace:** thats supposed to motivate me question mark

**UwU Menace:** really -_-

**Undercut Goddess:** They were your friends? What were they like?

**Baby’s First Crush:** Looked like a bunch of fucking clowns to me

**Gremlin Translator:** maybe I was right. More motivation to get  _ out _ rather than play this damn game.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Interesting that they all wear clown accessories and face paint except for you.

**UwU Menace:** you of all people cant judge my fashion taste uwu

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Right back at you, gremlin child.

**Gremlin Translator:** Huh. How did you meet all of them?

**UwU Menace:** we met at the corner of nunya and business 

**Lacks Common Sense:** Charming. Of course the gremlin associates with criminals

**Moronsexual:** No surprise there

**Gremlin Translator:** uh-huh.

**Sweet Bean:** Huh it’s kinda cool how you found so many people to get close to.

**UwU Menace:** we werent close they were my henchmen <3

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Seriously? What a degenerate way of treating people

**Undercut Goddess:** ^ Mood

**Gremlin Translator:** _Moving on_.

**Salty Bean:** … pick one out of the pile? Whoever just went picks who goes next?

**UwU Menace:** >:3

**Gremlin Translator:** No looking at names, Kokichi.

**UwU Menace:** that takes away the funnnnnnnn but fine :(

**UwU Menace:** tojoooo youre up nextttt

**Mother Hen:** …….

_ The screen lit up again to reveal Kirumi’s name. Monokuma’s voice could be heard. “This is the Motive Video for Tojo Kirumi, the Ultimate Maid. Hmm, I wonder who it will be?!” The screen showed an image of the Prime Minister of Japan. Kirumi blinked in confusion, before he began to speak. “Tojo-chan, this ridiculous bear says you’re competing in a game of some sort. Be that as it may, I hope you return soon. The office is swamped in paperwork since you’ve left. No one can figure out how you managed to stay on top of all of this so efficiently!” _

_ Kirumi gave the screen a look of disbelief as it faded to black. Before she could do more than hum in confusion, it returned . Monokuma’s voice returned with it. “Oh! I almost forgot, have this too.” A woman appeared who looked remarkably like an older version of Kirumi herself. _

_ “Mother…” Kirumi muttered, before the woman began to speak. “Kirumi, I’m disappointed in you. Making the Prime Minister wait. This sort of disrespect is not what I raised you to display. Finish whatever foolishness you’ve been caught up in and return to your duties at once.” Kirumi recoiled as though she’d been struck while the screen fades once more. _

**Mother Hen:** ...I…. I see.

**Baby’s First Crush:** ….fuck that bitch

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** While I disagree with the language used, I agree with Iruma’s statement.

**UwU Menace:** yawnnnnnn really paperwork and a scolding jfc monokuma step up your game this shits boring 

**Undercut Goddess:** Really? C’mon, be more supportive of Tojo

**Mother Hen:** …..my life outside of here seems rather boring.

**Moronsexual:** Boring can be nice

**Snappy Beansprout:** Are you kidding? That seems like way too much work. How do you even sleep?

**Sweet Bean:** Tojo… boring isn’t the word I’d use. That was the Prime Minister, Tedious, maybe? But your work is vital. 

**Mother Hen:** I suspect the answer to your question, Himiko, is the same as the query of how I kept up with it. I suspect sleep was very rare.

**Mother Hen:** I suppose it is, but a politician like that relying on a 16-year old for all of his paperwork?

**Mother Hen:** In any event, it’s not exactly something to look forward to?

**Moronsexual:** I could take him out for you if you want

**Sweet Bean:** Ah sorry, didn’t think of it that way. And that’s very much fair and understandable, third of all… you’re 16??

**Mother Hen:** It’s quite alright, Amami-san. It does seem like a great honor.

**Mother Hen:** Indeed I am. I know I act much older, however.

**Sweet Bean:** Huh…

**Undercut Goddess:** Well while you’re here you can rely on us, Tojo

**UwU Menace:** neeeeeeeeeeeeeext

**Gremlin Translator:** Hey Kokichi.

**UwU Menace:** yes shuichi owo 

**Gremlin Translator:** c’mere a second.

**Mother Hen:** next is.. Yonaga, it seems.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Indeed!

_ The room once again lit up as the screen showed images of a small but gaudy church-like building. Angie’s face litup when she recognized the church but before any comment could be made Monokuma’s talking started.  _

_ “This Motive Video is dedicated to Yonaga Angie, the Ultimate Artist! An artistic genius in her own right who claims that all her work is done from channeling her God. One of the people closest to her has a message for Yonaga!” The image cut from the church to a video of an older man in robes. His gruff voice came rumbling out. “Angie, Atua will always be with you, but your journey from the Church I fear will weaken your connection to him. We both know that your talents are most valuable when you are fully under him. Atua cares for you and wants the best for you, we hope this message finds you well and you’re willing to leave the place you’ve gone.” The screen transitioned back to the outside view of the church and surrounding island before ultimately cutting to black.  _

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh how enlightening! 

**Baby’s First Crush:** Sounds like a bunch of insane shit

**Moronsexual:** Yup, she came from a cult

**Gremlin Translator:** …...it’s… something.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** That was a very interesting look into your life and religion. Perhaps once we are all out I could study further.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Angie would be delighted to introduce you to the words of Atua!

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** How splendid.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Great, the two creeps are hooking up

**Atua’s Messenger:** I am strictly dedicated to Atua <3

**Undercut Goddess:** I see…

**Mother Hen:** ….might I join these lessons? It sounds... interesting.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Of course, Kirumi. I enjoy teaching you.

**Salty Bean:** hahaha no more impatient gremlin brat. Been practicing, Saihara?

**Gremlin Translator:** :)

**Undercut Goddess:** Alright, pick the next one Yonaga

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oki doki then

_ Angie’s less serious video put the room into a more relaxed state. That peace was quickly broken when Monokuma’s voice came out of the speakers saying “This Motive video is dedicated to Harukawa Maki, the Ultimate Assassin”. Suddenly Maki was struggling against Kaito’s arms and reaching for Kokichi, growling several threats at him. Thankfully Kaito held tight onto her while Shuichi dragged Kokichi out of the room by his scarf _ _ (DM1) _ _ , all the while the video kept playing. _

_ “Truly unbelievable how good she is at killing, she makes the perfect fit for this game of ours. But deep inside that cold, black heart is a small piece of humanity thanks to her desire to save this one person from her fate” An image of a thin teen girl with black pixie-cut hair faded into view. “Let’s hear from this rescued girl”. _

_ The teen coughed into her elbow then said “Heya, Kawa. Been a while since you stopped by the orphanage. Hope things are going ok for you. Unfortunately your bosses haven’t seen you in a while so the money’s starting to run low. But I talked to them and they said I might still be able to go work for them. I know you always hated the idea of me doing whatever work it is you do, but… things are getting rough. I promise I’ll do fine and keep the orphanage afloat like you always did.” Her attention was taken offscreen and she quietly talked with someone. Eventually she went wide-eyed and turned back to the camera. “Oh, I gotta go. They’re taking me in to get trained. Maybe next time we see each other, we can gossip about work, Kawa.”  _

_ The screen returned to an image of Monokuma, the bear saying “Wow, what a heart touching girl. I sure hope things work out for her, especially with that small little cough of hers. Guess you’ll have to find out when you graduate.” With that the video ended, Maki staring at the screen with blank tear-filled eyes. _

**Undercut Goddess:** ...Maki?

**Arachnophobia:** Scary Girl ok?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Shuichi.

**Gremlin Translator:** mhm?

**Lacks Common Sense:** _keep him away from us_. For the next few days at minimum.

**Gremlin Translator:** got it. Give Maki a hug from me?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Can do.

**Undercut Goddess:** You two don't have to stay

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I’m kinda worried now about what these videos could hold

**Lacks Common Sense:** ….that depends on what Maki wants to do.

**Lacks Common Sense:** and same, Chabashira.

**Salty Bean:** if the "work" that girl was referring to is what I think, I cannot say "fuck those assholes" emphatically enough to do it justice.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Well judging by Harukawa’s current curled up and distant state, it clearly won’t be good.

**Struggling Fangirl:** I… I want to help somehow

**Sweet Bean:** I think all we can do for now is let Momota handle her, and be there for her when she’s back on her feet

**Salty Bean:** for now, probably.

**Salty Bean:** Hey, Harukawa. Once we're out of here, if you need any help busting your friend out of wherever she is, let me know.

**Salty Bean:** Damn the consequences. I don't fear prison or death.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Fuck yeah, I’ll build some wicked shit to take out any asshats. Might even let the other’s help

**Lacks Common Sense:** I don't think she's up for reading any messages right now, but I'll let her know what you guys are saying later. I'm sure she'll appreciate it.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Well, since she’s checked out, I’ll grab the next video for Harukawa

_ Tsumugi loaded the next video then sat back, tensing when she heard “This Motive Video is dedicated to Shirogane Tsumugi, the Ultimate Cosplayer. As someone known for not being themself, I wonder who managed to get to know the true Tsumugi. Let’s find out.” The video transitioned to a young man recording himself and an older couple with his phone standing on a mountain trail. Seeing them, Tsumugi sighed and took her glasses off to clean them while the man started speaking. _

_ “Hey, Tsutsu, how goes your last minute project? Hopefully it’s more exciting than a hike.” He chuckled at the older man jokingly scolding him then continued “It’s really beautiful up here, your parents and I wish you were here. Busier than expected today, but I guess it is a nice place. Though I always prefer your side. Take care and don’t forget to eat lunch”. The video ended and Monokuma reappeared, telling her “Such a lovely fiance and loving parents. I wonder how that hike went. Be sure to find out once you graduate.” _

**Struggling Fangirl:** Ah… I suppose I didn’t get to finish that project

**Factory Reset:** I… never realized a hike could sound so ominous…

**Snappy Beansprout:** All exercise is ominous sounding

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Cmon, Yumeno. You need more exercise

**Snappy Beansprout:** Fight me

**Salty Bean:** pretty sure even  _ Ouma _ could beat you in a fight, kid.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Not if I use my magic

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I was unaware you are engaged, Shirogane.

**Struggling Fangirl:** No worries, I never wear my ring

**Factory Reset:** What is he like? Your fiance?

**Struggling Fangirl:** Yea, we met at a convention and started going to them together

**Mother Hen:** That sounds like fun.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Yea. He was wonderful

**Gremlin Translator:** ...was?

**Struggling Fangirl:** Oh sorry, guess I let Monokuma get to me. I’m sure he’s safe and happy

**Undercut Goddess:** That’s the spirit, Shirogane. We’re all gonna get out and see the people in our videos

**Gremlin Translator:** Yeah. Either way it’ll be nice to be out of this school. Not that you guys aren’t awesome, just….

**Salty Bean:** yeah, understandable.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Yea! Can’t wait to introduce Matsu to my Master

**Lacks Common Sense:** Yeah. I’m sure my grandparents will love to meet Maki <3

**Struggling Fangirl:** Oh, we should probably move on. Sorry for taking up so much time with my plain problems

**Sweet Bean:** You’re our friend, we care about your problems

**Salty Bean:** ^

**Salty Bean:** That was the point of this whole thing, wasn’t it? So we didn’t have to watch these alone?

**Arachnophobia:** Right, Gonta cant help if not around

**Mother Hen:** so far most of these don’t really seem like  _ motives _ to kill anyone?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Hard to say, it’s possible these videos would impact us more were we alone.

**Mother Hen:** ….true.

**Undercut Goddess:** Poor Harukawa 

**Salty Bean:** I guess we should move to the next video… get this over with…

**Struggling Fangirl:** Alright then

_ Tsumugi grabbed a tablet and loaded up the video, an uncomfortable silence filling the room as Monokuma started saying “This Motive Video is dedicated to Amami Rantaro, the Ultimate Who The Hell Knows. I’ll interrupt my usual spiel to say 12 sisters? Jesus fuck your dad must’ve been firing like a machine gun.” Monokuma paused a moment to giggle at his own line. “Well we have a message for him from  _ one _ of them, at least. Here it is!” _

_ The screen changed to reveal a young girl who couldn’t have been older than 12. She looked at the camera, and began to speak. “Big Brother, this creepy bear says he knows where you are, and that he’ll get this message to you. We… we found a lead on Hanabi-chan. We’ve been trying to get ahold of you, none of our foster families will let us chase it. You can, Big Brother, but why… why won’t you answer us? Have you given up?” She asked the camera, desperation seeping into her expression. “Please, Big Brother, you can’t give up on her, on us.” _

_ The video cut off, and the words ‘What is this mysterious lead? Find out After Graduation’ flashed across the screen. _

**Sweet Bean:** Oh god

**Undercut Goddess:** Foster families? You all weren’t together?

**Sweet Bean:** Yea, turns out CPS doesn’t exactly like when people have 13 basically unsupervised kids. Unfortunately one of my sisters went missing and I was the only one old enough to look for her

**Salty Bean:** _Jesus_. Missing how? Like, abducted? How old is she?

**Sweet Bean:** She was five. About six months ago her foster parents dropped her off at a daycare and later that day they received a call saying Hanabi was missing

**Factory Reset:** That sounds like an awful experience.

**Sweet Bean:** The worst

**Gremlin Translator:** ...You were all separated? I can’t imagine that was pleasant.

**Gremlin Translator:** I’m sorry for what happened to you. I can’t imagine having my sister go missing... 

**Undercut Goddess:** Same here

**Lacks Common Sense:** You two have sisters?

**Gremlin Translator:** ...well, biologically a cousin, but she calls me her brother since her father was the one that raised me.

**Undercut Goddess:** Yea, you’ll probably see mine soon

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Did the owners of that reckless daycare get swift and just punishment?

**Sweet Bean:** They were closed a month later

**Gremlin Translator:** For what it’s worth, Amami, once we’re out of here I would be glad to offer my assistance in helping you track down your little sister.

**Sweet Bean:** I’ll take any help I can get

**Sweet Bean:** Well that’s enough dwelling on the past for me

_ Wearing a paper thin smile, Rantaro loaded up the next video. As usual Monokuma appeared on screen, saying “This Motive Video is dedicated to K1-B0, the Ultimate Robot. Now who could be more important to a robot than their creator? So put your paws together for the man who built the clueless K1-B0.” _

_ The video switched over to an older man, a gruff expression on his face. “The robotic bear tells me he has located you, K1-B0. I demand you return home as soon as possible so I can continue upgrading you and fix your faulty memory bank, among other repairs I’m sure you’re in need of. As my greatest creation, I can’t allow you to be running at anything less than your maximum potential. I already have everything needed except for you. Just make sure to avoid any serious bumps to your head or overheating, that will cause the most damage to your memory.” The man paused when he heard banging on his door, pulling out a futuristic gun and walking off-screen as Monokuma took over the video again. _

_ “Wonder who that was knocking. Hopefully you graduate and find him before your memory fails.” With that the video ended. _

**Factory Reset:** I… I don’t understand. He  _ knew _ this was a possibility?

**Baby’s First Crush:** How dare he fucking act like you’re some dumb experiment! He should’ve fixed his son before letting him out into the world

**Factory Reset:** It does seem irresponsible. I… I’m sure he had his reasons. He must have… right?

**Baby’s First Crush:** He fucking left you vulnerable to so much shit. He’s goddamn lucky you met me to fix the problems he put in you!

**Factory Reset:** and I’m grateful to you for that, Miu. I truly am.

**Factory Reset:** I just… I find it hard to believe that… nevermind.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Whatever, feel however you want about that asshat. I’m just a mechanic for you

**Factory Reset:** That isn’t true!

**Factory Reset:** You’re not “just” a mechanic. I don’t think you could be “just” anything if you  _ tried _ . You’re….. You’re amazing, Miu. You’re an amazing person and I’m honored that I was able to meet you, much less get to know you.

**Baby’s First Crush:** You used to know me. Then your memory got wiped.

**Undercut Goddess:** Oooook, let’s go take a walk, Iruma

**Baby’s First Crush:** Fuckin whatever

**Factory Reset:** It got wiped due to my Fa-- my creator’s negligence. I.. I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for that.

**Undercut Goddess:** I’m sure she’ll appreciate that. If either of our videos come up before we’re back, let us know guys

**Factory Reset:** ……..

**Mother Hen:** ...are you alright, Kiibo?

**Factory Reset:** As much as I can be, I suppose.

**Sweet Bean:** She seems to be breaking more and more

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Hopefully Akamatsu is able to get through to Iruma. She seems quite skilled at ignoring people’s walls.

**Factory Reset:** I hope so too.

**Factory Reset:** It’s clear to me that my attempts are unwelcome.

**Factory Reset:** ...I’ll load the next video, I suppose.

_ No one was looking forward to seeing Monokuma once again, and by some luck they got their wish. Instead Monotaro showed up on screen somehow sweating despite being a robot. “H-Hey you dumb meatbags. So Father made a video and we los-I MEAN, we decided to make it ourselves. This Video Motive is for Gokuhara Gonta, the Ultimate…. The fucks an Entomologist. Well, its for the giant bug guy. We have a person as motivation for you, but didn’t have time to get footage of them. So The Monokubs will play their role.” _

_ The entire class now completely confused, they watched the screen change to some poorly drawn background of a street. Monotaro walked onto screen wearing a shirt that said “Bug Guy’s Little Brother” on it. He started speaking in a high pitched voice “Lalala, Im the brother of Bug Guy and I miss him so. If only he wasn’t stuck in some school far far away, then he could walk me safely across the street.” He turns and starts pretending to walk towards the background then dramatically gasps as an exisal walks onto screen, wearing a giant shirt that says car. It makes a couple beeping noises then kicks Monotaro, the video pausing with him flailing in flight. _

_ Now wrapped in bandages and using a crutch, Monotaro reappeared on screen, groaning “W-What happened to him? Will he be ok? Find out if you graduate or something” then the screen went black. _

**Arachnophobia:** Um… Gonta confused

**UwU Menace:** BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

**Gremlin Translator:** ….that was...uh… something. I guess we know why none of them went into acting….

**Sweet Bean:** Ok, so I’m not the only one that thinks the Monokubs McFuckin lost Gonta’s video, right?

**Salty Bean:** No. No you are not.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Those dummies

**Arachnophobia:** That not my brother. That Monokub. Why say that brother?

**Mother Hen:** I believe, due to the loss of your actual video, the Monokubs decided to attempt to… reenact its contents? Very poorly, at that.

**UwU Menace:** _ holy shit that was funny _ sorry for your loss or whatever but h o l y f u c k im  _ dying _

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Good, die degenerate gremlin

**UwU Menace:** well now im not going to :3

**Struggling Fangirl:** I can’t believe them…

**Salty Bean:** I can. It seems like exactly the sort of dumbass thing they’d do.

**Salty Bean:** ...you good over there, Saihara?

**Gremlin Translator:** y e s, fine. I’m fine.

**Gremlin Translator:** Dearest, stop looking at me like that. It’s not going to heal overnight. This isn’t a soulmate AU.

**UwU Menace:** well sorry for expressing concern beloved

**UwU Menace:** and no dont say that youre gonna summon the nerdddddd 

**Struggling Fangirl:** I heard AU????

**UwU Menace:** fuck

**Gremlin Translator:** Thank you for the concern. <3

**UwU Menace:** hhhrhhnn yeah fine <3

**Lacks Common Sense:** is that a  _ b l u s h _ I see?

**UwU Menace:** no and if you say anything else you won’t be seeing anything anymore :)

**Mother Hen:** AU??

**Struggling Fangirl:** Alternate Universe

**Mother Hen:** is that… a fanfiction term?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Like hell. You’re  _ blushing _ from a  _ cheek kiss _ , there’s no  _ way _ I’m letting that go.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Oh I have SO much to teach you, Tojo

**Mother Hen:** ...alright then..?

**UwU Menace:** shuichi beloved let go of me i have an astronaut to send to space >:)

**Gremlin Translator:** Nope. And the blush is adorable, by the way.

**UwU Menace:** i am going to fight every single last one of you

**Gremlin Translator:** You’d fight your injured boyfriend?  _ Gasp _ .

**Gremlin Translator:** Too comfortable to let go. You’re stuck with my bony butt.

**Arachnophobia:** ...wait…. IS BROTHER OK? THE WEIRD LOOKING CAR HIT HIM!

**Mother Hen:** Sadly I don’t think we know. That is likely what your motive was intended to be.

**Arachnophobia:** Not good! Gonta meant to protect brother!

**Factory Reset:** For what it’s worth, I don’t know if even you could have exactly protected him from a moving vehicle, Gonta.

**Arachnophobia:** Car that deadly? Then why we friends with them?

**Factory Reset:** I believe it was most likely an accident. At least, that is my understanding of most incidents with cars hitting people.

**Arachnophobia:** Oh, Gonta understand. Gonta also have accidents sometimes

**Factory Reset:** That said, I do hope your brother is alright.

**Snappy Beansprout:** If not, I’ll use my magic to fix him

**Sweet Bean:** When we get out of here, if he’s not already healed I can see what I can do about getting a good hospital/place to recover for him, if you’d wish. 

**Arachnophobia:** Thank you, Gonta parents give lots of green paper then

**Sweet Bean:** No that won’t be needed, thank you though 

**Snappy Beansprout:** Geez, are you both rich or something?

**Mother Hen:** That’s a very kind offer, Amami-san.

**Gremlin Translator:** I believe it’s Gonta’s turn to pick the next video?

**Arachnophobia:** Will do

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (after Shuichi drags Kokichi out of the room)

_ Saihara Shuichi: _ What was  _ that _ ?! _  
_ _ Saihara Shuichi: _ ….you had hers the whole time, didn’t you? That’s how you added it to the pile.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ im the one who called her out during the name game   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ shes the one who wanted to be boring and not watch her dumb video -_-   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Yes and now she  _ actually _ wants to kill you for playing it.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ I get why, at least mostly. At least this way she has people supporting her. But that was still cruel of you to do without any sort of warning.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ well wheres the fun in ruining the surprise   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ besides she hasnt threatened my life in a few days and i wanted some excitement exclamation point    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ sometimes I wonder if you genuinely  _ want _ people to hate you.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ who knows question mark hehe   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Why.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ why not   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ no one likes a liar and i hate that monokuma is the biggest liar here   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ so you go out of your way to be cruel to others to… prove Monokuma is a liar?   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ The lies are one thing. It’s the intentionally provoking and being cruel to others, and pretending it’s just for your entertainment that’s going to get you into trouble that even I won’t be able to help you out of.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ like that silly assassin will do anything to me   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ shes just gonna act like that video didnt affect her then go to her boyfriends room and cry for hours in his shoulder about losing everyone   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ even if that’s all she does right now, it’s not like she  _ hasn’t _ killed before. Maybe she’s just waiting until we’re out and killing you won’t drag others down with her.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ so much for being the ultimate detective >:(   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ well if we do get out ill just have to fight her off   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ what does that stupid title have to do with not wanting to see you hurt, even if it’s just a small chance?   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ just dumb sentiment getting in the way?   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ oh i meant nothing with that   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Mhm. Nothing at all. I’m sure.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ geeeeeez you act like shes any better at showing emotion than me   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Nah, you’re both pretty bad at it. I just had the motivation to figure  _ you _ out, rather than her.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ ughhh nvm im just going back into the room to laugh at the dumb videos   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ nevermind what. You might have to spell it out for the dumb detective.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ youre the worst you know that question mark   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ my dumb stupid annoying video bugs me   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ happy question mark    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Yes. Was that so hard to type out?   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ like a fuckin breeze   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ It’s not a bad thing that it “bugs you”, to use your words. But sure, let’s go back in.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ whatever period just make sure to have lap space   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ For you? Always 😘

###  **////////Chapter Twelve End\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

Name List

Saihara Shuichi: Gremlin Translator   
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace   
Akamatsu Kaede: Undercut Goddess   
Chabashira Tenko: Simps For Pretty Girls   
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush   
K1-B0: Factory Reset   
Shinguji Korekiyo: Should Have Been a Teacher   
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen   
Shirogane Tsumugi: Struggling Fangirl   
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia   
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense   
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual   
Yonaga Angie: Atua’s Messenger   
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout   
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean   
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty Bean


	13. It's Gonna Be a Long Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire: Oop, a day late. Hopefully the second half of the Motive Videos makes up for it. We certainly enjoyed writing it
> 
> Tango: The long night of motives will be coming to an end! *slaps the top of the fic* do you see how much angst we can fit in this bad boy? :D

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta grab new video

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Hopefully this one will make more sense

_ A few stray chuckles came from the class as they settled down and watched Monokuma show up on the screen. “This Motive Video is dedicated to Yumeno Himiko, the Ultimate Magician. Who’s most important to this sleepy child? Let’s see.” The video switched over to a couple that couldn’t have been more than mid 30’s. The woman wiped away some tears. _

_ “Himiko, darling, are you ok? This weird bear said you’re in his care now but does he have your medication or medical history? Your doctor says he didn’t send that over to anyone, did you share it with this bear? Please don’t forget your schedule and exercises, we want to see our little magical girl healthy and safe again.” She stopped to blow her nose, leaning on the man for support. He whispered reassurances to her then said “Please, stay safe. I know you want to keep living like a normal girl, but don’t hurt yourself any more than you already are. We love yo-” _

_ Suddenly the feed ended and Monokuma reappeared . “Geez, so sappy. What could be so wrong with Yumeno that they break down like this at the thought of her being away. Guess you’ll have to find out IF you graduate.” _

**Snappy Beansprout:** Nyeh? I don’t know why they’re so scared, my magic will keep me alive forever

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Yumeno… what are they talking about?

**Snappy Beansprout:** They’ve always babied me, especially after my cinderblock trick. Always making me take some weird medicine that made me hyper and not feel magical

**Mother Hen:** Perhaps it it meant to be a focuser? Such things aren’t meant to make your magic  _ easier _ to use, but more potent when you do.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Nyeh? Really?

**Mother Hen:** It’s certainly possible.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I suppose now we understand your constant exhaustion.

**Snappy Beansprout:** It’s ok, Papa. I’m fine. You can barely see the scar on my head anymore so I’m all better

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Papa? Again with that?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Not that I completely hate it… but I am not your papa

**Snappy Beansprout:** Oh… sorry

**Mother Hen:** I think it’s cute, honestly…

**Mother Hen:** I can’t say I blame them for babying you, Yumeno-chan. I would be worried as well, were I in their shoes.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Cause you’re a great mama

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Still, we’re gonna try to help you out when we can

**Gremlin Translator:** We all will.

**Sweet Bean:** ^

**Factory Reset:** You did mention before that your parents took you to many magical trainings after that particular spell, so perhaps Tojo-san is correct?

**Snappy Beansprout:** I guess I should’ve been more appreciative

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** It’s ok, Yumeno. I’m just glad you have such supportive parents

**Mother Hen:** It is indeed refreshing to see such love and support.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Ok, next video time. I’m getting sleepy

**Gremlin Translator:** would you like someone to pick a video for you, Yumeno-chan?

**Snappy Beansprout:** No, I got it. Looks like Momota’s turn

**Lacks Common Sense:** Oh  _ fantastic _ . Let’s see what nonsense the psycho bear came up with, I guess.

_ The next video began with a picture of Kaito in an astronaut suit, with his arms around an elderly couple and a huge grin on his face. Kaito sucked in a sharp preath at the sight, but before he could comment, Monokuma began to speak. “Kaito Momota, the Ultimate Astronaut. Thanks to his exceptional talent, this young man is already an astronaut trainee! Wow!” The ‘wow’ sounded a little underwhelmed, but the voiceover continued , “Our team has managed to score an exclusive interview with his grandparents.They miss their grandson terribly, and hope he returns to them safe and sound. But don’t just take my word for it! Let’s hear it straight from the source!” _

_ The scene shifted to the elderly couple from the picture sitting on a couch. The elderly man spoke first. “Kaito… as long as you’re alive, I don’t need anything else…” His wife spoke next. “No matter what happens, you must live. You must  _ never _ give up. Please, live on. For our sakes, too.” _

_ “Their only wish…” Monokuma’s voice returned, “is for Kaito to live. Will Kaito be able to fulfill his grandparents’ wish?” He paused for a moment. “Ah, yes… One more thing… Shortly after this interview wrapped, these old farts suffered an unfortunate accident…” Monokua himself then popped up on the screen. “What kind of accident? It’s a secret! Find out for yourself. Puhuhuhuhuhu…” With that, the screen faded to black once more. _

**Lacks Common Sense:** “unfortunate accident” my  _ ass _ . If that bear did something to them, I swear I’ll get him!

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** You lived with your grandparents?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Yeah, I went to live with them when I was a kid. They pretty much raised me.

**Sweet Bean:** That’s cool. I only met mine once when I was young

**UwU Menace:** wow assass girl didnt even respond to that video question mark

**UwU Menace:** wonder what took her out

**Lacks Common Sense:** Like you don’t fucking know considering it’s your damn fault it played to begin with.

**UwU Menace:** oh question mark now i wish i didnt miss her video cause anything that broke her this much must be fun

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Why don’t you just shut up and let her grieve?

**Gremlin Translator:** The ending of that video was…. Ominous, to say the least.

**Lacks Common Sense:** you’re telling me.

**Snappy Beansprout:** So you’re just in training to be an astronaut?

**Lacks Common Sense:** technically, yes. But I’m the youngest in the program! It’s very intense and they don’t let anyone go up into space that isn’t 100% ready.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Still impressive of you.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Yea, I can’t imagine what it must take to become an astronaut. Can you fly a plane?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Yeah, I was a month or so away from getting my pilot’s license when..  _ this _ happened.

**Gremlin Translator:** Wow, Kaito, that’s amazing.

**Lacks Common Sense:** haha, thanks! :D

**Undercut Goddess:** Alright, we’re back. What’d we miss?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Yumeno and Momota’s videos

**Factory Reset:** Gonta’s as well.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Right, that mess…

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta’s brother hit by car maybe

**Undercut Goddess:** Holy shit, are you ok?

**Arachnophobia:** Should Gonta not be?

**Mother Hen:** ...are any of us that have seen our videos really okay, at least in the sense I believe you mean the word?

**Undercut Goddess:** Suppose that’s true. Any improvement from Harukawa, Kaito?

**Lacks Common Sense:** No, not really. Not sure what more I can do to help her, though.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Just fuckin be there and shit, she’ll start flapping her lips again eventually

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Well it appears the walk was a failure.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Shut it, Creepo

**Factory Reset:** ...are you feeling better, Miu?

**Baby’s First Crush:** Um… a little, Kii

**Factory Reset:** That’s good! :D

**Baby’s First Crush:** Yea… may I sit next to you?

**Factory Reset:** of course

**Lacks Common Sense:** uh, can someone grab one of the videos we haven’t done yet for me? I don’t wanna disturb Maki.

**Undercut Goddess:** Sure thing

**Undercut Goddess:** Oh, Ryoma’s video

**Salty Bean:** I-...great, let’s go, I guess.

**Sweet Bean:** Hey, I’m right here. Whomever we see, I’ll support you through it

**Salty Bean:** …..yeah....

_ Ryoma settled just a bit closer to Rantaro, looking rather uncomfortable as the video began to play. It opened, like the others, with Ryoma’s name across the screen. However, what came next was unlike anyone else’s, even Gonta’s. Monokuma appeared, with his head down and a yellow hardhat concealing his face. ‘Under Construction’ rolling across the top and the bottom of the screen. _

_ Monokuma began speaking. “This message is for Ryoma Hoshi, the Ultimate Tennis Pro. Unfortunately, there is no one in the world who is important to you! I’m so sorry. Really, I am. You have my deepest sympathies. Sorry, sorry, sorry!” The video ended as abruptly as it began. _

**Salty Bean:** …..well then.

**Sweet Bean:** What the fuck was that shit? No one important to you? Dumb bear must’ve gotten lazy and not even looked

**Undercut Goddess:** Geez, these bears are the worst

**Salty Bean:** …...no, he’s… probably right

**Salty Bean:** everyone I loved out there is dead.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Not just your girlfriend?

**Salty Bean:** No, my parents and older brother and his wife, too. All dead.

**Snappy Beansprout:** That’s a major bummer

**Sweet Bean:** Well now you have all of us

**Undercut Goddess:** Yea! We’ve been saying it all day but we’re all here for each other

**Salty Bean:** ...yeah. Can we move on to the next one please?

**Sweet Bean:** Of course, Yoma

_ Rantaro kissed Ryoma on the head then grabbed the first video he saw, turning it on then returning to Ryoma’s side. The usual beginning played, Monokuma saying “This Motive Video is dedicated to Iruma Miu, the Ultimate Inventor. Such a crude yet talented genius, she could probably solve any problem she puts her mind to. Of course, everyone has to come from somewhere.” Hearing that, Miu flinched and grabbed Kiibo’s hand as her mom appeared on the screen. However the tension started to leave her as she took in her mom’s appearance. Gone were the unfocused eyes and messy hair of an alcoholic. Instead she seemed aware and cleaned up. _

_ Her mom’s soft voice, the complete opposite of Miu’s harsh tones, said “Miu, my little genius, it’s been a while. I won’t pretend I don’t understand you moving out on your own after your inventions gained massive attention. I was not a mother for most of your life, just a drunk that occasionally tucked you into bed and hummed lullabies… but seeing just how successful you are made something in me wake up and realize how much I was missing out on after… your father left us. So I secretly used the money you for some reason kept sending my way to check into rehab and get some help from people not named Daniels or Jager. I’ll be honest, that first year nearly killed me but the thought of someday seeing you again as the mother you once knew pushed me to keep strong.” She paused to wipe a tear away, Kiibo doing the same for Miu. “A couple months back, I told my therapist I wanted to see you again and we got to work on preparing me for facing my mistakes again. But then you went missing… I’m finally ready to ask to be in your life again and suddenly that gets ripped away. Please, my little genius, please come back.” _

_ Monokuma’s chuckles rang out as he reappeared, telling them in a pitying tone “Sadly, Miss Iruma stopped attending therapy around the time of this video and has once again retreated into her home. I wonder what else followed her there? Guess you’ll have to find out once you graduate.” His chuckle turned into a cackle as the screen faded to black. _

**Baby’s First Crush:** Mom?

**Factory Reset:** ….Miu… I promise we’ll get out of here. Then we can go see her.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Stupid tears…

**Undercut Goddess:** Miu, it’s ok to cry. I’m proud of you and your mom both making something of yourselves for each other

**Factory Reset:** Indeed. You’ve become someone to be very proud of, and I believe from her statements that your mother agrees.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Your mom’s amazing, not just anyone can turn be at rock bottom and turn themself around on their own. And when we get out, I’ll kick the ass of anyone who disrespects such a strong woman

**Lacks Common Sense:** Yeah, that’s definitely something to be proud of. To be able to kick your own ass and get out of a situation like that, not just for yourself, but for your kid…

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Indeed, and judging by the fact you sent her money even long after escaping a toxic situation says a lot about how you still loved her and never gave up on her. So shed your tears, that’s natural when bearing so much. But don’t stop believing in her, because your belief gave her strength.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Guys… the fuck’s with the sappy shit… thanks though

**Lacks Common Sense:** We’re all here for each other. Or we try to be. You might be a bit abrasive sometimes but you’re still included in that!

**Snappy Beansprout:** I’ll magic away any evil alcohol that tries to sneak into your mom’s house

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta give Mama Iruma big hug, squeeze bad out of her

**Baby’s First Crush:** Thanks… think I could get one of those too?

**Arachnophobia:** Of course, Gonta never deny hug to good person

**Salty Bean:** I hate to ruin the mood, is it just me or are Monokuma’s “cliffhanger endings” starting to feel a bit repetitive to anyone else? I honestly doubt that bear would  _ actually _ hurt everyone’s family, there’s no benefit in it if he thinks there’s still a chance we’re going to play his stupid game.

**Baby’s First Crush:** If that fucking bear hurt my mom, he’ll be scrap metal in seconds

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** If I had to hazard a guess, my suspicion is the endings are feeling repetitive because we were not intended to watch these videos together and all in a row. They were likely expected to be viewed in privacy, to ensure our division and desperation to escape. And if he’d said anything about them requiring solitary viewings, then that would raise suspicion.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** So the gremlin ended up being right to demand a viewing party… great now I have to thank the degenerate

**Gremlin Translator:** ...this all seems… more for  _ show _ than anything. Which seems very suspicious as well

**Undercut Goddess:** You think he had another reason for these videos? What else could they accomplish?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** For one, these videos were presented as motive to kill, yet they’ve done the opposite and united us. That would suggest a massive failure on his part, yet there’s no upset bear in front of us.

**Gremlin Translator:** Exactly. Monokuma doesn’t seem like the type to take his plans being foiled well. I’m slightly surprised that he’s  _ not _ made an appearance to have a tantrum about it long before--…. _ ow _ !

**Undercut Goddess:** Shuichi? Are you ok?

**Gremlin Translator:** Yeah, sorry just. Headache out of apparently nowhere.

**UwU Menace:** alright no more thinking for you mister

**Gremlin Translator:** Yes dear. But I guess… I don’t know if my tangent even makes sense, I just thought I should share before I lost it.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Still gives us some necessary caution. Now I believe we should move on to the next video.

**Baby’s First Crush:** I’ll grab it, just gotta free my arm from Kii’s hold

**Factory Reset:** Oh. Sorry >////<

**Baby’s First Crush:** Relax, I just couldn’t reach the table. You can hold it again once I load up the next video

**Baby’s First Crush:** Huh, speaking of the gremlin detective, Poo-ichi’s up

**Gremlin Translator:** ….just because I can translate for Kokichi….. -.-

_ As soon as Miu sat back down, Kiibo, still blushing, retook her hand. The video started with a name and Monokuma’s usual voiceover. “This motive video is dedicated to Saihara Shuichi, the Ultimate Detective, who’s not-so-confident in his own skill. Let’s see who is most important to our not-so-intrepid detective. _

_ Shuichi’s arms tightened around Kokichi when an older man with greying hair appeared on the screen, with a young girl- who couldn’t be more than 8 or 9- on his lap. She looked like a younger, female version of Shuichi himself. The man began to speak first. “Shuichi, I have to admit I never thought I’d be opening a missing persons case on my own nephew.” He laughed slightly awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. “Anyway, I hope you’re safe, wherever you are.” He added. “We’re doing alright, so you don’t need to worry about us. Just focus on coming back to us safely, okay?” _

_ Judging by the man’s lack of downward glances, he hadn’t noticed the girl in his lap moving her hands. Shuichi’s eyes were glued to the motions, pretty much unrecognizable to anyone who didn’t know JSL. As she signed, Shuichi’s breathing became shallower, and his eyes widened. He squeezed Kokichi a bit tighter, but didn’t seem to notice. What color was left in his face drained from it. At this point, the man seemed to notice what the child was doing and covered her hands with his own, before signing something to her, speaking along with it. “Sh, no need to worry your brother.” _

_ The video cut at that point. Monokuma’s voiceover returned. “Huh. I wonder what the little girl was trying to say. Oh well!” _

**Gremlin Translator:** …………………….

**Arachnophobia:** What small one mean by Bad Man Escaped?

**Gremlin Translator:** I- I-... no, no this can’t be happening, no, nononono……

**Undercut Goddess:** Shu? Shu, breathe

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Head between your knees, fingers interlocked and laid on the back of your head, and focus on your heartbeat

**Mother Hen:** that might be difficult considering he has a lapful of Ouma.

**Gremlin Translator:** Sorry, I’ll. I’ll explain just… one second.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Take your time, the problem isn’t here

**Gremlin Translator:** That  _ is _ the problem. If he was here, I could handle that. It’s him going after  _ them _ that terrifies me.

**Gremlin Translator:** I-... the case that got me my title… I don’t know how much of this story I’ve told to anyone but Kaede. It was a murder case. The killer was acting to get revenge. His victim had driven the killer’s brother to suicide, previously. If I hadn’t- I was the reason he was sent to prison. And now, if what my sister’s saying is true, he’s out somehow, and out for blood.

**Undercut Goddess:** Oh god, Shu

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Is this killer aware of where your family lives or works?

**Gremlin Translator:** …...according to my sister, he’s been sending “angry letters” to my uncle’s agency. Addressed to me, I would assume.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Alright, did she say anything about why he was free?

**Gremlin Translator:** She mentioned parole? But it should be years too soon for that. I.. I don’t understand how….

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** A particularly idiotic judge I presume. Well your uncle is clearly aware of the situation so he likely has alerted the police to the threats and thus is receiving some sort of protection from them. If for whatever reason he attempts to attack, no more parole.

**Gremlin Translator:** I can only hope that is the case. And that he is stopped before he can hurt them.

**Undercut Goddess:** He was caught once, he can be caught again

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I swear men can be the worst sometimes… though maybe it’s just some men…

**Gremlin Translator:** There were a lot of people that thought what he did was justified… that opinion extended to the police force. I… hope they don’t allow that to cloud their professional judgement…

**Baby’s First Crush:** Fuckin dumbass pussys

**Struggling Fangirl:** I mean, I can somewhat sympathize with him. Losing your loved one because of someone’s direct actions…

**Gremlin Translator:** ..yes, that’s true. I struggled with what I’d done for the longest time because of that. Honestly I still do. But I also firmly believe that actions do and should have consequences, as well. I… I don’t know if I could bear it if my own actions brought harm to my family.

**Mother Hen:** It isn’t  _ your _ actions that are making him do this. It is the killer’s own inability to deal with the consequences of his grief-driven actions.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Atua says a man who kills another with no remorse has already killed themself

**Gremlin Translator:** …...That’s one way to think about it.

**Gremlin Translator:** Thanks Yonaga-san.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Atua accepts your thanks!

**Gremlin Translator:** Dearest, can you… I can’t reach the tablets….

**UwU Menace:** suffer then

**Gremlin Translator:** or you could grab one for me?

**UwU Menace:** ugh fine

_ He started up the next video then got comfortable on Shuichi again as Monokuma said “This Motive Video is dedicated to Akamatsu Kaede, the Ultimate Pianist. And what an annoying one, I swear she’s almost as stupidly hopeful as some other idiots I’ve met. But back on topic, who’s most important to her? Why herself of course.” The video switched to a still of someone that looks almost exactly like Kaede, minus the darker shade of hair and glasses. “Just kidding, it’s only a twin.” _

_ The video of her twin started playing and the girl fixed her glasses. “Hey, Kaede. Been weird without you around. Mom and dad are their usual frantic selves but you going missing made it worse, especially with the big competition coming up. Not all bad though, I’ve been getting a lot better with the violin and might even be able to outshine you when we play at that competition… you are coming home in time for it, right? We’ve been working towards this for years and to have you go missing now… sorry, making it seem like that’s all that matters. Guess I’m spending too much time with our parents. This weird bear says something about how you won’t come home the same but that’s total BS, nothing fazes you. So do what you gotta, sis. I’ll be waiting.” _

_ The video closed with Monokuma saying “What a touching relationship between these two twins. Especially ones that haven’t been apart for more than a few hours their whole lives. Wonder how things are going for her? Find out when you graduate” _

**Undercut Goddess:** Oh sweet, Kimi’s getting better with the violin

**Gremlin Translator:** That’s sweet that you two play together

**Undercut Goddess:** Yea, it’s so much fun

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Such a touching sibling relationship. I hope you two reunite in peace.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Keep it in your pants, Creepo

**Undercut Goddess:** Hey, it’s fine Tenny. Kiyo and I have made up

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Indeed, the two of us sat down over some tea Kirumi made and discussed our differences.

**Lacks Common Sense:** uh. Okay. Are we sure  _ Yumeno _ is the only one with magic?!  _ How?! _

**Mother Hen:** secrets of the trade. I'm afraid I can't say more.

**Undercut Goddess:** We can be reasonable people

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Indeed.

**Mother Hen:** ^_^

**Lacks Common Sense:** right. Anyone else suddenly rather terrified of Tojo?

**Mother Hen:** I can't imagine why that would be.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Nyehhhhhh, mommy’s making a scary face

**Salty Bean:** that smile is a bit on the unsettling side.

**Factory Reset:** oh, I almost forgot to ask. Saihara-san, what was your sister doing with her hands?

**Gremlin Translator:** Oh! That was Japanese Sign Language, or JSL. She's… almost completely deaf. Has been since birth.

**Sweet Bean:** And you know sign language, Gonta?

**Arachnophobia:** When Gonta first taken from forest, not good at voice speaking. Parents think hand speaking help so teach me. Help Gonta lots, make easier to learn words

**Gremlin Translator:** well I'm glad to hear it helped! Honestly I think it's a shame more people don't learn it.

**Gremlin Translator:** when I was first learning a friend and I used to talk that way during class. They had issues focusing and watching me sign as the teacher spoke seemed to help.

**Undercut Goddess:** Thats great of you, Shuichi

**Baby’s First Crush:** Hm, could be a useful skill for nosy workshops

**Undercut Goddess:** Well, time to grab the next video

_ She loaded up a video, the familiar tone of Monokuma droning on. “This Motive Video is dedicated to Shinguji Korekiyo, the Ultimate Anthropologist. To a man dedicated to studying humanity, what could be most important? Something that calls to him even in death?” At the mention of death, Korekiyo tensed. His fist clenches when the image of a grave appeared on screen. “Oh, the loss of a loved one is always heartbreaking. Especially when your heart belongs to them. You see, this very caring brother was in love with his dear sickly sister, to the point of searching desperately for a way to bring back his lover/sister. Did he succeed? Who’s to say.” _

_ Suddenly the image changed to show several men with shovels approaching the grave. “What I do know is graves can be such a sensitive subject to many people. What will happen with this one? Find out when you graduate.” The screen then turned to black. Korekiyo just shaking as he stared at the screen. _

**Baby’s First Crush:** The fuck? What the hell was that all about?

**Mother Hen:** Kiyo. Breathe.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** How…. How dare… How dare those monsters disturb her?

**Gremlin Translator:** _grave robbing?!_ Is there no low that disgusting, immoral scrap bucket won't sink to???

**Baby’s First Crush:** Is no one gonna mention that Lover shit?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Shut your mouth, wench

**Salty Bean:** ….there are people who are into that kinda thing, I guess…???

**Lacks Common Sense:** I… yeah, but…

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Don’t speak like you understand anything, Space Monkey and Prison Midget

**Gremlin Translator:** I understand that seeing the threat of your sister's grave being defiled is upsetting… but you're starting to even scare Tojo.

**Mother Hen:** …. Korekiyo, if you need to step outside for a moment, no one would blame you.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** You dont… you all dont… none of you undersnad. Not like Sister

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Sister always understood. Understood all of me. Sheewda

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Apologies, forgive my little brother’s outburst.

**Gremlin Translator:** ??????

**Mother Hen:** I see. Are we speaking to Korekiyo's sister's spirit, then?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Indeed you are. Just as smart as little Kiyo described you, Tojo.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Th-The fuck’s going on? Why’s he wearin lipstick and talking like that?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Dont tyou dare speak of Sister like that. She graces you all with her pressencee

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Calm yourself, little Kiyo. I will handle them.

**Gremlin Translator:** …. I see. So is that what Monokuma meant by trying to bring you back…?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Quite correct, Young Saihara. He was initially disappointed that only my spirit came to him, but we were willing to share a body. After all, we shared ourselves in life so it was no trouble becoming closer in spirit.

**Gremlin Translator:** so you two were…?

**Mother Hen:** you refer to him as "little Kiyo"... Just how much older than him were you when you passed on?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** A short three years, dear. Though I refer to him as such due to how short he once was before puberty altered him. I barely recognized him when we reunited.

**Factory Reset:** have you been… aware of what's going on the whole time?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Not fully, I rarely catch more than snippets. However little Kiyo loves telling me tales of you all. I will admit I was quite disappointed in his harsh words towards Akamatsu. Thankfully dear Tojo did such a wonderful job reigning in my brother and making him see the error of his ways. It pleases me that he has such a wonderful friend in her.

**Snappy Beansprout:** This is an unusual magic, even for the Ultimate Mage like me to see

**Sweet Bean:** May I presume we’re still speaking to Miss Shinguji? 

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Yes indeed, Mr Amami.

**Sweet Bean:** Well Shinguji-san as an older sibling myself I think I’d like an explanation to the second face of your relationship with your Little Brother.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I see no reason why our relationship should be treated as wrong simply because we share parents. Our love is as simple as any other. 

**Sweet Bean:** It’s less wrong from your blood relation compared to the power you as an older sibling held over him. Siblings are vital support systems to those who have them and changing that relationship to something more akin to that of romance is  _ not _ healthy nor something the elder of the relationship pursue or allow to happen. 

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I held power over him as I lay dying in hospital after hospital? I held power as he chose to spend his precious time keeping me company instead of outside with others?

**Sweet Bean:** Well let me ask this, who was the one to initiate this relationship, You or your brother? 

**Gremlin Translator:** ….to be frank, yes you did. He idolised you, even then. It’s not about physically holding power over someone, but the relationship  _ should _ be that the elder sibling guides and teaches the younger, and that kind of power may not be physical but it is definitely  _ there _ .

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Little Kiyo is the one who initially asked to change our relationship. I denied him at first due to my prior morals reflecting our society’s push against such relations. However as I laid dying, I found that society did nothing for me. So I chose to make my brother and myself happy.

**Sweet Bean:** THEN GODDAMN IT YOU SHOULD HAVE KEEP REFUSING 

**Sweet Bean:** Apologies, but I feel you should have considered the mental consequences of your relationship and declining health on your brother. Making a relationship even more complicated in that sort of situation would have only caused more mental stresses on your brother. And once again apologies for my bluntness but now your goddamn spirit is “possessing” him. Look how he ended up. :)

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I will admit there being some complications and occasional issues due to our current arrangement. Which is why he and I have agreed to work towards letting me leave this mortal earth. The preparations were nearly complete when little Kiyo was snatched by the bear.

**Undercut Goddess:** ...what kinds of preparations?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Worry not, they do not involve you. Regardless, as terrible as this current situation is, I am glad it has given me a little more time with my brother and allowed him a group to get acquainted with.

**Sweet Bean:** I see, I will be excusing myself from this conversation.

**Sweet Bean is offline**

**Salty Bean:** As one of the few, if possibly only other younger sibling here, I have to agree with Ran and Saihara. I… even if I felt that way towards my own older sibling, I… jesus  _ fuck _ I don’t even have  _ words _ . That’s  _ not _ a healthy mindset to  _ have _ .

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** You are certainly entitled to your own opinions. I will not insist you believe the same as I.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Dont… do not judge Sister so harshly. I’m the one who fell first and convinced her it was ok. I offered my body to her in death.

**Salty Bean:** _oh believe me you’re not getting out of this either._ But more of the fault lies with her as the older sibling for _agreeing_ to it.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** If I am to be judged for fighting for my Sister’s happiness, so be it. If it is within my power, I would do anything for her. Even kill.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Now now, little Kiyo. No need to scare your friends any more than they already are. Let Sister speak for now.

**Salty Bean:** No, let him talk. Repeat that last bit..?

**Mother Hen:** ….Korekiyo…. One conversation is not going to convince you of something you do not wish to believe, I know this. But surely you understand why the others are so concerned for you?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Why must you all insist on hurting him with your words? He is in a sensitive state at the moment.

**Salty Bean:** yeah, no thanks to  _ you _ . The  _ fuck _ did he mean “even kill”?!

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Sister… she was never able to make more than a couple friends due to how much of her life was spent in hospitals. Even in death she was lonely, which is why she was unable to move on and I found her.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Once the two of us realized the toll sharing our body was having, I decided to help her move on. Since she was stuck due to loneliness, I decided to ensure she’d have many friends awaiting her.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** ...what?

**Mother Hen:** …….

**Salty Bean:** are those the “preparations” mentioned….?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** One hundred friends. Surely that would be more than enough to accompany my dear Sister to the afterlife. Sadly, I only reached 89 before coming here.

**Salty Bean:** I- you- ….. _ what _ .

**Gremlin Translator:** you…..you  _ killed 89 people _ ?!

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Calm yourself, Kiyo. They are unable to understand.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** They are my friends, they will surely understand. As for your question, not 89  _ people _ . Only the purest of girls could do as friends for Sister. That is why I was unable to reach my goal.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Then…. Were we your targets too?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I was considering my options.

**Salty Bean:** no, I understand. I killed to avenge my family, so I get  _ that _ . I just….

**Gremlin Translator:** then… would you have killed Tojo? Your  _ friend _ ?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** ….

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** No, you don’t get to go silent, you fucking scum.

**Undercut Goddess:** Tenny, calm please

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** No! I am NOT going to be calm when THAT MONSTER DECIDES TO JUST CASUALLY ACT LIKE KILLING SO MANY GIRLS IS OK! HE FUCKING BERATED YOU FOR MAKING A JOKE ABOUT KILLING WHEN HE WAS PROBABLY PLANNING OUT YOUR MURDER AT THAT VERY MOMENT! WE FUCKING TRUSTED HIM!!! WOULD YOU HAVE ASKED ME TO BE CALM IF HE HURT YOU? WOULD YOU HAVE JUST SAT THERE QUIETLY IF HE’D CHOSEN TO KILL ME?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** ...I never could’ve brought myself to harm Kirumi. She… I saw so much of my Sister in her… for a couple moments I even felt like She wasn’t with me anymore.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Well I hope you fucking enjoyed getting to spend any time near us girls. Cause if I get my way, you won’t even get to move anymore without a fucking guard!

**Undercut Goddess:** Tenny, please come over here. I’ll let you hold me

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** You all.. are upset

**Salty Bean:** can’t say I  _ blame _ her. I went to prison for killing a dirty  _ mafia _ piece of shit, what the hell makes you think you should fucking get away with it?!

**Mother Hen:** …..and if your sister had asked you to kill me….? Would you have?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** No… she wouldn’t…. There’s no way she would ask that of me

**Undercut Goddess:** She asked you to kill 100 pure girls. I think Kirumi’s the purest of us all. So why wouldn’t she be a target?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Because… because Sister never speaks when she’s around… for some reason Kirumi’s presence makes Sister go away.

**Gremlin Translator:** but you can’t necessarily prove that might not make her angry if she can’t speak to you. Especially with how much time you two have been spending together. Jealousy happens, especially if she’s used to being your sole focus.

**Undercut Goddess:** Kiyo, before you say anything, let me ask something

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** ...very well?

**Undercut Goddess:** Would the sister you knew when she was alive have asked you to murder?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** What… what are you getting at? They are the same person.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Do not play smart, child. I am his Sister.

**Undercut Goddess:** Are you really?

**Salty Bean:** It is a valid question. Would she have done that?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Well.. I suppose she was gentler then.

**Mother Hen:** That isn’t an answer. Would the beloved sister you remember have ever asked something so selfish that she wouldn’t have to suffer for?

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Why of course, if I had been aware of a way it would restore my health and allow our relationship to continue.

**Mother Hen:** The question was directed at Kiyo, not you.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** You ask this yet… who else would this be sharing a body with me like this if not my Sister?

**Gremlin Translator:** well if you take the fact that spirits are real at face value, it could be a darker entity pretending to be your sister to take advantage of you and your body. That seems to be a common thread in such stories. Spirits like that are skilled in deception and using your expectations against you.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Now now, friends of Kiyo. Do you really believe you know more about spirits than the Ultimate Anthropologist?

**Gremlin Translator:** Of course not. Hence why I used an example  _ he _ would be familiar with, stories from his studies.

**Mother Hen:** that is true. Kiyo himself has told me many such stories.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** ...those stories do hold some merit and similarities to my own.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** But… Sister has always been with me.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** Indeed, little Kiyo. I am with you.

**Salty Bean:** ….maybe it’s about time you grieved her loss and let her go…

**Mother Hen:** “It does not do to dwell on the past, and forget to live”

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** ….then all I’ve done… could I live with it?

**Mother Hen:** that… is not for me to say. But you could perhaps begin to address it properly.

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** I killed so many for this dark spirit. Perhaps I should join that list

**Should Have Been a Teacher:** No need to be so rash, Little Kiyo.

**Salty Bean:** seems like a coward’s way out to me. If you really want to make up for what you did, then you don’t get to take the easy way out and take your victims’ families closure with you.

**Simps For Pretty Girls has changed Should Have Been a Teacher to Murderous Coward**

**Murderous Coward:** I believe Chabashira is indeed correct in her naming me as a coward.

**Salty Bean:** If that doesn’t convince you, do it for Tojo, who  _ still _ hasn’t left your side despite the fact that we’d all  _ really like her to _ .

**Murderous Coward:** …

**Undercut Goddess:** I think we need to come up with some alternative to handcuffs since I never saw any in the warehouse

**Salty Bean:** …..I have some. In my lab.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Kinky little shit

**Salty Bean:** Maybe so.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Huh, well more power to you

**Gremlin Translator:** Oh jeez.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Not sure it’s a good idea to leave a girl on guard duty with Him, even if it’s Tojo

**Murderous Coward:** While my word now means nothing, I swear I would never even attempt to harm her.

**Mother Hen:** I believe him.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Well… if you’re sure. But call me if he tries anything

**Mother Hen:** I will indeed. Thank you Chabashira-san

**Undercut Goddess:** ...so should we even watch Tenny’s video or just… call it a night?

**Gremlin Translator:** I suppose it depends on Chabashira-san? Do you feel that you can watch yours or would you rather wait until morning?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I honestly don’t really want to revisit this night. So let’s get some cuffs on Creepo then start it

**Sweet Bean is online**

**Salty Bean:** I’ll get ‘em. Ran, you wanna come?

**Sweet Bean:** yes please (DM1)

**Gremlin Translator:** I’m tired. Kichi, can we switch? I might fall asleep soon.

**UwU Menace:** good you need it >:(

**UwU Menace:** yeah we can switch <3

**Gremlin Translator:** Thank you dearest <3

_ Everyone shuffled around returning to their seats, Ryoma arriving with the cuffs and putting them on Korekiyo before leaving again with Rantaro. Once the group had settled, Tenko started up her video then cuddled against Kaede while the video played. “This Motive Video is dedicated to Chabashira Tenko, the Ultimate Aikido Master. This rambunctious, judgy girl spent years training under her Master following the loss of a parent. Let’s hear from this wonderful Master of hers.” _

_ A well-built redhead showed up on screen and scoffed . “Tenko, is this thing on? Why does all this tech need to be so complicated? Whatever, the odd bear isn’t telling me to stop so I assume it’s working. Since I’m being asked to record this for you, I can only assume you’re alive to watch this. Good, I’d hate for all that training in Neo-Aikido to have been for nothing. Honestly, just do what you do best and bash in the head of whatever degenerate male is keeping you there and come back. I’ve heard some bad rumors regarding your father so I’m spending as much time as I can with your mom to keep her safe. Stubborn woman refuses to move up here, claiming she wants you to still be able to come home. Well whatever, I can handle that degenerate if he tries anything.” Tenko’s somewhat hopeful expression dropped when she spotted a familiar man slinking through the background with something heavy concealed in his coat pocket. A couple moments after he went offscreen, there was a loud bang and someone screaming for help. Tenko’s Master turned away right before the video paused , followed by Monokuma’s usual fear mongering. _

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** How… how did he get there?

**Gremlin Translator:** who….?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** My sperm donor.

**Mother Hen:** …...where  _ should _ he be?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Prison, for abusing my mom and I.

**Mother Hen:** I am… sorry you had to go through this

**Gremlin Translator:** ...would a hug help..?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Um… from Tojo maybe. Sorry Saihara, not right now

**Gremlin Translator:** that’s understandable.

**Mother Hen:** I have no objections to this.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Thanks. Matsu knows most of what happened but it’s… honestly kinda nice knowing you all are aware. Guess we’re closer friends than I thought

**Mother Hen:** We are glad to be able to provide such support.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Didn’t go through the abuse and shit, but I know what it’s like being raised by just your mom

**Mother Hen:** ….I do as well.

**Undercut Goddess:** Well, I think we pretty much all had our trauma and dirty laundry put out in public today. Kinda exhausting 

**Mother Hen:** Agreed. I’m surprised Saihara stayed awake long enough to offer a hug to begin with.

**Undercut Goddess:** He’s just that caring of a guy. Somehow got closer to him AFTER we broke up

**UwU Menace:** yes hes wonderful but ima be taking him to his room now uwu 

**UwU Menace:** cant exactly say that was fun but well it was something goodnight

**UwU Menace is offline**

**Baby’s First Crush:** That was almost nice of him

**Factory Reset:** I suppose even Ouma has limits to what he can tolerate.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Well whatever. I’m off to my room now, fuckers

**Factory Reset:** if we want to have a guard on Shinguji-san’s room I can do that tonight? I have enough of a charge to last until morning.

**Baby’s First Crush:** ugh fine, guess we can take shifts watching him tonight, Kii

**Factory Reset:** If you are comfortable with that I would not turn down the company.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Of course I’m fuckin comfortable with it… Yes I’m more comfortable with you having someone as backup and shit

**Factory Reset:** Well when put that way how can I refuse?

**Baby’s First Crush:** Better not, or I’ll replace your feet with ice skates

**Arachnophobia:** Then Gonta carry Small Girl to her room then sleep in own

**Mother Hen:** ...I think I may stay up for a little while longer…

**Undercut Goddess:** Alright, just don’t hurt yourself working too long. I’m gonna carry Tenny to my room now

**Undercut Goddess is offline**

**Mother Hen:** Goodnight everyone. Sleep well.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (after Ran and Ryoma leave to get handcuffs from Ryoma’s lab.)

_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ….you wanna talk about it?   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Talk about what part...there was, a lot to unpack in that.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ...well let’s start with your video.   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Well I’m definitely happy that they’ve gotten a lead on Hanabi, I was devastated when I actually lost her. But the rest of my sisters are relying on me to find her because their families won’t let them search for her...Which I can understand. I don’t even know why our parents let me go out on those trips. Fucking Monokuma and his hope and despair.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ I’m kinda surprised your parents let you go, like you said. Though could they actually stop you if you really wanted to go?   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Considering I lost them a child every other trip you’d think they’d try to stop me by now, but no I don’t think they could if I was really determined.    
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ...and they still let you go out on trips with them?   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ No offense meant, but after the first time….   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Yeah I know what you mean. Well I mean I picked up dad’s negotiating skills and mom’s charm I bet they’d let me get away with anything as long as I keep the business running with them.    
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ …...yeah I’ve had firsthand experience with the charm.   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ //////;-;//// Real smooth there yoma    
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ yeah I try.   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ You’re doing great sweetie 💚   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Now discussing your video….   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Yay.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ it sucks, but there’s not a lot I can do about it. You saw the kind of person I was when I got here.   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ A smexy mysterious tennis player ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ But joking aside I’m sure it’s quite impossible to have  _ no one _ care about you, you just need to find people to care for back, and I believe in you. You can do it   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ….oh my god why   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ it’s hard to trust that I won’t lose anyone else the way I lost my family.    
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ I’ve never felt the pain you’ve had to go through so I can’t really say anything with it being from an outside perspective. But isn’t it better to live, get hurt but also have all the good times than die without opening your heart?    
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ That was morbid I’m sorry…   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Well we  _ are _ in a killing game, morbid’s literally the name of the game.   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Ah yeah you’re right lol   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ In all seriousness, maybe you’re right….   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ...don’t let it go to your head.   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ What? Me? No never 💚   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ mmhmm. Sure.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Who do you suggest I ‘open my heart’ to? You?   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ I mean you could? I definitely wouldn’t refuse, but I also wouldn’t be offended if it wasn’t me. Go with who you want, and it doesn’t have to be an immediate thing either    
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ what the hell do you see in me anyway?   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ A really cool dude? Idk man you’re like a walnut, just gotta get past the little shell and it’s smooth sailing.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ I… that’s the first time I’ve ever heard  _ that _ .   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Was that too bad/cheesy? Sorry lmao   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ It’s actually…. Kinda sweet?   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ OvO is that a blush I spy?   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ I… uhm… Uh. Maybe?   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Aww its cute! But please do let me know if I’m crossing some boundaries, I’d hate to make you uncomfortable    
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ I will. But like I said before, I  _ do _ care for you. I…   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ugh why is this so hard to say.   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Words hard man, an eternal mood.    
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Well, despite my efforts to be a closed off little walnut, I’ve… kindafallenforyou.   
_ Rantaro Amami:  _ H-huh? Really?   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ …...yeah.   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Wow, I Uhm I’m really shocked and happy right now that’s so cool dude um do you want to like try dating or do you still need space, cause boundaries I get that people need those uhm  _ and I’m rambling I’ll shut up _   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ ...does this answer your question?   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ ….While I do very much appreciate the kiss I would like a verbal/written response 💚   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ yesIwanttotrydatingyou. Better?   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Yes!    
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ as long as you do, too.   
_ Amami Rantaro:  _ Hoshi, please, I very much want to.   
_ Hoshi Ryoma: _ Good.

  
  
  


###  **/////Chapter Thirteen End\\\\\\\\\**

Name List

Saihara Shuichi: Gremlin Translator   
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace   
Akamatsu Kaede: Undercut Goddess   
Chabashira Tenko: Simps For Pretty Girls   
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush   
K1-B0: Factory Reset   
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense   
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual   
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen   
Shinguji Korekiyo: Murderous Coward   
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout   
Yonaga Angie: Atua’s Messenger   
Shirogane Tsumugi: Struggling Fangirl   
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia   
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean   
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty Bean 


	14. What To Do When Your Friend Turns Out To Be Possessed By a Murderous Spirit: A Guide By a Bunch of Tired High School Students

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire: Whelp, our unfortunate kids managed to survive their rough night. Now they get to rest... hold up, I forgot that we're writing them so that won't last long. Oh well :)

**Undercut Goddess:** Good morning, everyone

**Arachnophobia:** Morning, Akamatsu. You sleep well?

**Undercut Goddess:** About as well as one can after yesterday

**Gremlin Translator:** I have been blessed with the most adorable sight I have ever seen

**Gremlin Translator sent sleepygremlin.jpg**

**Gremlin Translator:** _yes I’m gay shush_.

**Undercut Goddess:** Awww, he’s almost cute when he’s not being a big shit

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Looks the same to me

**Factory Reset:** ...has anyone been back to the AV room this morning? Tojo-san didn’t return to the dorms last night.

**Arachnophobia:** Not Gonta. Though as Gonta leave last night, he think he hear sniffing

**Factory Reset:** I’m going to go check on her….

**Factory Reset is offline**

**Gremlin Translator:** I hope she just fell asleep on the couch or something.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** @ Baby’s First Crush How’s the creep?

**Baby’s First Crush:** Pretty sure the bastard didn’t fucking sleep, probably cause he’s a goddamn piece of shit

**Undercut Goddess:** Miu. How much sleep did you get?

**Baby’s First Crush:** I don’t know, maybe a few fuckin minutes or some shit you dumb bitch

**Factory Reset is online**

**Factory Reset:** ...she’s asleep in the AV room. Miu, please go get some sleep, I’ll be back soon.

**Gremlin Translator:** Give me a second to get up without waking Kokichi and I’ll switch with you guys so you can sleep/recharge

**Baby’s First Crush:** Im fuckin fine you lazy asssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

**Undercut Goddess:** Well, I guess she’s down for the count

**Gremlin Translator:** Probably.

**Factory Reset:** Good. I tried to get her to sleep several times last night but she refused.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Can’t really blame her considering who she was sharing a room with

**Factory Reset:** I suppose. Well, hopefully she gets some sleep. Will you be alright on your own, Saihara?

**Gremlin Translator:** I’m sure Kokichi will find me when he wakes up. I’ll be fine until then.

**Undercut Goddess:** Alright, just let someone know if you need help. As for you, Kiibo, let’s get Kirumi to her room so you can go be with Iruma

**Factory Reset:** is her door unlocked?

**Undercut Goddess:** I grabbed her key from one of her pockets

**Struggling Fangirl:** You seriously dug through her pockets like that?

**Undercut Goddess:** I’ll apologize when she’s awake

**Factory Reset:** Alright. I’m going to go get Miu and take her to her room.

**Undercut Goddess:** Sleep well, you two

**Murderous Coward:** It is good to see her sleeping. I tried to tell her she should sleep during the night.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** It’s a complete mystery why she didn’t listen

**Gremlin Translator:** I vote we all fend for ourselves for breakfast and let her sleep. In case it needed to be said.

**Factory Reset:** Agreed. Thank you for your assistance, Akamatsu.

**Factory Reset:** Goodnight everyone.

**Factory Reset is Offline**

**Sweet Bean:** I can take a shot at making breakfast for the 15 of us

**Gremlin Translator:** Sounds like a plan.

**Gremlin Translator:** who all is awake?

**Undercut Goddess:** Only people I haven’t seen are Momota, Harukawa, and Yumeno

**Lacks Common Sense:** just woke up. Maki’s… kinda awake?

**Undercut Goddess:** She still catatonic?

**Lacks Common Sense:** A bit better than yesterday. Got some words out of her.

**Undercut Goddess:** Great :) She’s lucky to have you

**Lacks Common Sense:** I dunno I think I’m the lucky one. :D

**Undercut Goddess:** Awwwwwww

**Snappy Beansprout:** Heyyyyyy, where’s breakfast?

**Sweet Bean:** Sorry, Yoma’s still clinging to me so I’m slowed down

**Gremlin Translator:** okay the koala thing is cute as hell.

**Sweet Bean:** Yea but I can’t use both arms now

**Gremlin Translator:** Yeah that is a downside of that.

**Gremlin Translator:** I got a picture. Who wants to see it?

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta see?

**Gremlin Translator:** Sure, I’ll send it to you

**Arachnophobia:** Thank Saihara

**Arachnophobia:** Amami strong holding small man with one arm

**Sweet Bean:** Heh, thanks Gonta. Glad I’m not too much of a twink

**Gremlin Translator:** I dunno he might be doing most of the work for you :P

**Sweet Bean:** Sounds like a certain detective doesn’t want his breakfast

**Gremlin Translator:** If that’s the price I have to pay for such a good opportunity for teasing then fine

**Sweet Bean:** Glad we’re in agreement

**Undercut Goddess:** Rantaro, feed him

**Sweet Bean:** Fine fine, as you wish

**Gremlin Translator:** My hero :P

**Lacks Common Sense:** Need a hand, Amami?

**Sweet Bean:** Nah, I dont want to drag you away from Harukawa while she needs you

**Mother Hen:** I’m not certain how I ended up in my room but good morning, everyone

**Sweet Bean:** Oh good morning, Tojo. Don’t worry about breakfast, I got it covered today. You just rest and we’ll have some sent to your room

**Mother Hen:** Oh, are you certain? I don’t mind assisting

**Sweet Bean:** Positive. You do so much for us, it’s the least I can do

**Undercut Goddess:** Yea, so you just rest. Also sorry for digging around in your pockets while you slept but we needed your key

**Mother Hen:** ….alright…

**Mother Hen:** Ah. That explains that. It’s quite alright, Akamatsu-san. Your intentions were helpful.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Mmmmm, tasty pancakes

**Sweet Bean:** Well that’s a relief, wasn’t sure if I used salt or sugar on accident

**Undercut Goddess:** ….well Im glad that worked out

**Mother Hen:** …….

**Snappy Beansprout:** I’ll go take some to mommy now

**Sweet Bean:** Leave enough for everyone, Yumeno

**Mother Hen:** That is very thoughtful of you, Himiko.

**Struggling Fangirl:** Wow, these are almost as good as Tojo’s pancakes

**Sweet Bean:** Yea she’s just magic or something

**Murderous Coward:** Indeed, my compliments to the chef.

**Sweet Bean:** so are we all just gonna let him continue using the Monopad?

**Mother Hen:** Why would we not?

**Sweet Bean:** We all saw and heard the same things, right? He can’t be even slightly trusted, especially around any women

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I think you’ll find we are perfectly capable of defending ourselves, Mr Degenerate

**Sweet Bean:** So you’re ok with his current accommodations?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** No, I want him dead. But don’t act like us girls can’t defend ourselves

**Undercut Goddess:** Tenny, Rantaro. Both of you calm down a little

**Mother Hen:** Indeed. No one is requiring you to trust or be around him yourselves. In fact perhaps it would be better if you were both excluded from this “guard duty” everyone seems to have decided on.

**Sweet Bean:** He killed 89 people. And the way he talked about it made it sound like there was no remorse.

**Mother Hen:** I am aware, Rantaro. I was sitting right next to him.

**Sweet Bean:** Do you have sisters?

**Mother Hen:** thankfully, no, as they would have been raised the same way I was.

**Sweet Bean:** ...well whatever. If you want to trust the fucker, be my guest. I’m not gonna protect you from him

**Mother Hen:** I did not ask you to.

**Mother Hen:** Nor am I asking you to trust him. I am aware of the impossibility of that.

**Gremlin Translator:** I don’t think any of us are in any sort of mindset to make any decisions affecting another person’s life right now.

**Gremlin Translator:** However, in this particular situation, I would hesitate to place Shinguji-san in complete control of his own actions.

**Gremlin Translator:** He needs  _ help _ far beyond what any of us are capable of.

**Murderous Coward:** I spent the night reflecting on my past and mental state, and wish to say I am sorry for the trouble and stress I have brought upon you all. I know I am in no place to make requests but I have just one.

**Mother Hen:** What might that be?

**Murderous Coward:** Get me to my Ultimate Lab. Once I am there, I swear on my lost sister that I will stay there indefinitely studying what is within me and see if it is indeed her or if Sister is something else. You may chain me, put a tracker on me, even leave guards. I will not leave without all 15 of you agreeing to let me out.

**Sweet Bean:** I can get behind you being locked away in a room for all eternity

**Mother Hen:** That seems acceptable to me.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Well, I guess that’s alright

**Undercut Goddess:** Indeed. I… I want to believe that the Kiyo we all got to know still exists, but there’s just too much standing between us right now to believe in you like that again.

**Murderous Coward:** Believe me, I am also trying to figure out who I am. Hopefully I find the answers I seek.

**Sweet Bean:** Hey, Tojo… I’m sorry for yelling at you. Just… I couldn’t help seeing my sisters at his hands

**Mother Hen:** Your apology is accepted and appreciated, Amami-san. I realize that having siblings fundamentally changes people, and you were coming from a place of concern.

**Sweet Bean:** Yea, still… oh well, I lost my cool. As for the Lab thing, we’ll have to find a way up to the fourth floor. Unfortunately we’re down our explosives expert so we have to either wait for her to recover or hope the Bears decide to open the way again

**Lacks Common Sense:** whatever the fuck is going through that head of yours, Shuichi,  _ no _ .

**Gremlin Translator:** ….I didn't say anything?

**Lacks Common Sense:** _ Yet. _ Don't think we missed that the reason you got hurt  _ last time _ was some dumbass self-sacrifice play.

**UwU Menace:** never thought id see the day where id agree with that dumbass

**UwU Menace:** shuichi _no_ (DM1)

**Undercut Goddess:** Shuichi, you are staying right where we can see you when the bombs go off

**Gremlin Translator:** one miscalculation and the kid gloves come out 

**Lacks Common Sense:** so you  _ were _ planning something. Spill.

**Gremlin Translator:** _absolutely not_

**Sweet Bean:** How dumb of an idea is it?

**Gremlin Translator:** right now? Very. After I've had some time to figure out the logistics? It just might work.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ……"one miscalculation" says the dumbass that almost got himself killed because he didn't warn anyone what he was up to

**Gremlin Translator:** yes because said miscalculation was not realizing how much of a panic that one thing could send Monokuma into. Like I said. Miscalculation.

**Undercut Goddess:** Shu, nothing too deadly

**Gremlin Translator:** Can't promise anything, but I'll try.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Don’t worry, Matsu. I’ll protect you

**Undercut Goddess:** Thanks, Tenny. But things should be fine

**Gremlin Translator:** I  _ can _ promise that I’ll try to make my plan as minimally dangerous to everyone else as possible.

**Undercut Goddess:** “Everyone else” better include you or I will play piano poorly next to you for a week

**Gremlin Translator:** …...uhm.

**Undercut Goddess:** Shuuuu

**Gremlin Translator:** _Kaaaaedeee_. I’m not promising anything I’m not sure I can follow through on.

**Undercut Goddess:** …. Fine I trust you

**Lacks Common Sense:** I trust you too, just… you  _ do _ tend to keep information to yourself to protect others and risk your own safety in the process.

**Gremlin Translator:** Can’t deny that.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Well if Matsu trusts you, I’ll trust you

**Gremlin Translator:** Thanks Chabashira :D

**Lacks Common Sense:** Just… actually tell us things this time, dude.

**Sweet Bean:** Yeah, last time was stressful

**Arachnophobia:** Uh, Gonta want to check. Four comes after three yes?

**Sweet Bean:** ...is… is that a serious question?

**Arachnophobia:** Sorry, Gonta just want to be sure since Gonta see stairs going up from third floor

**Gremlin Translator:** ...Well. That was easy.

**UwU Menace:** damn now we dont have an excuse to blow things up ;-;

**Gremlin Translator:** There’s still that door in the library…

**UwU Menace:** OvO

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Gremlins don’t get to use bombs

**Gremlin Translator:** _r u d e_

**UwU Menace:** T-T youre so meannnn

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Boo hoo

**Gremlin Translator:** Well some of us could explore the fourth floor and the rest finish clearing the books from the library?

**Sweet Bean:** I call fourth floor exploration team

**Undercut Goddess:** I’ll go up there too

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta help with books

**Lacks Common Sense:** Maki and I will probably be more helpful in the library at this point.

**Gremlin Translator:** I’m curious about the fourth floor.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Fourth floor sounds like less work so Im in

**Salty Bean:** ….I’m beginning to understand why Yumeno likes sleeping so much. I’ll go to the fourth floor too

**Mother Hen:** I shall help with the library.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I’ll help with the library. Matsu, if the Creep tries anything bad, just remember what I taught you

**Undercut Goddess:** Yes, Master Tenny

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** >/////////////////////<

**UwU Menace:** ew gay

**Snappy Beansprout:** You’re riding Saihara like a koala

**UwU Menace:** yes :3

**Salty Bean:** ...bet that wasn’t the only thing of Saihara’s Ouma’s ridden.

**Gremlin Translator:** ……rhjbglksgd  _ Hoshi-san why _

**Salty Bean:** why not?

**UwU Menace:** if you really think im the bottom here you clearly havent met shuichi 

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** ughhhhh

**Undercut Goddess:** ...I mean….

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Gremlin Translator:** Keep telling yourself that, cherry boy. :P

**UwU Menace:** sure thing baby cakes

**Undercut Goddess:** I have to side with Ouma here

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...are we talking about the same gremlin? The one who blushes beet red when Saihara kisses him on the cheek? And completely breaks when he gets kissed?

**Undercut Goddess:** I'm more talking about Shu

**Lacks Common Sense:** I mean, believe what you want but I’m with Saihara on this one.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I do not like this, I do not like this one bit

**Salty Bean:** Well we can always turn the topic to you and Akamatsu?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** TO THE LIBRARY!

**Gremlin Translator:** ….yeah I kinda get where Tenko’s coming from now. I don’t really want to think too hard about that.

**Undercut Goddess:** I have never been more glad that Iruma’s passed the fuck out

**Salty Bean:** Damn, I forgot about that. Backup would have been nice.

**Gremlin Translator:** alright I’m heading upstairs now.

**Undercut Goddess:** Same

**Gremlin Translator:** Okay the fourth floor is fucking creepy

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh hello everyone. Atua has blessed me with a room of art

**Salty Bean:** …..huh. So this is where you went.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Mhm, after breakfast I felt Atua pulling me here. And such a wonderful floor. Praise Atua, he went all out making this floor

**Undercut Goddess:** Well… to each their own I suppose

**Gremlin Translator:** ...anyone happen to have a handy way to break glass…?

**Undercut Goddess:** Huh? Why?

**Gremlin Translator:** ….I may have found something? But not sure.

**UwU Menace:** yonaga do you have paint buckets in your lab

**Atua’s Messenger:** Yes yes! Why?

**UwU Menace:** perfect :)

**Undercut Goddess:** Well while you guys handle that, I’ll go get Kiyo settled in his lab

**Gremlin Translator:** over at the end of this hall, Yonaga.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oki doki then

**Atua’s Messenger:** YOOOOOT

**UwU Menace:** you

**UwU Menace:** its yeet you uncultured swine

**Atua’s Messenger:** Atua said to say Yoot

**UwU Menace:** well atua is uncultured 

**Salty Bean:** I can hear that coughing fit at the other end of the hallway. Are you guys  _ trying _ to kill him?

**Gremlin Translator:** No, I'm okay, just laughing

**Atua’s Messenger:** Well no worries, if you die Atua will welcome you into his paradise

**Undercut Goddess:** Angie quit trying to make us join you and Atua

**Atua’s Messenger:** Angie just wants the best for everyone here and that can be achieved with Atua’s guidance!

**Snappy Beansprout:** Woah, thats a big box

**Gremlin Translator:** That’s a… giant computer. Too bad Iruma-san is sleeping.

**Undercut Goddess:** Please don’t jinx us. She already has one piece of advanced tech to drool over

**UwU Menace:** oh great another hunk of metal for the whore to fuck with

**Undercut Goddess:** Hey! She’s not a whore and Kiibo’s not a hunk of metal

**Gremlin Translator:** …..

**Gremlin Translator:** Nah, just a “piece of advanced tech”?

**Gremlin Translator:** I’m going downstairs. Neither of you follow me.

**Undercut Goddess:** Shu?

**UwU Menace:** great job akamatsu -_-

**Undercut Goddess:** You’re the one that upset him

**UwU Menace:** then why did he say neither of us huh question mark 

**Undercut Goddess:** ….whatever. Let’s see what’s up with this dumb computer

**Salty Bean:** Well then. Let’s just hope Kiibo doesn’t read back and see what you both think of him.

**Undercut Goddess:** What  _ I  _ think of him? The hell did I say that would offend him?

**Salty Bean:** He quoted  _ your words _ , Akamatsu. Not Ouma’s.

**Undercut Goddess:** What’s wrong with saying he’s advanced tech?

**Salty Bean:** Considering he’s said before that all he wants is basically to be human? Even  _ Iruma _ doesn’t call him that, and she’s the tech nut.

**Undercut Goddess:** Well I still don’t see what I actually did wrong. But fine, whatever, let’s just carry on

**Salty Bean:** He might not even be annoyed by it, but it  _ was _ a bit rude.

**Salty Bean:** ...the hell is this thing even  _ for _ ..? Why do we need a computer this size if it’s not someone’s lab?

**Snappy Beansprout:** Maybe it’s just there to be impressive or something. Some guys feel the need to compensate

**Sweet Bean:** Well Monokuma definitely fits the bill

**Undercut Goddess:** Mhm

**Salty Bean:** That’s true.

**Salty Bean:** ...I fucking hate being short sometimes. I can’t see the screen.

**Sweet Bean:** ...Need some help?

**Undercut Goddess:** Right, sorry

**Salty Bean:** yeah, thanks.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Geez, that’s a dusty screen

**Salty Bean:** considering what dust is made of, that’s odd that it’s here.

**Sweet Bean:** ...Thank you for reminding me of the fact that most dust is skin particles

**Salty Bean:** If I have to remember that so do you.

**Salty Bean:** so is there another way into this room besides through that glass…?

**Undercut Goddess:** Probably some vents?

**Salty Bean:** Hm. I wonder if that’s how Monokuma just… appears places?

**Undercut Goddess:** Like a certain gremlin?

**UwU Menace:** taking that as a compliment 

**Undercut Goddess:** You do you

**Salty Bean:** ...yes, somewhat like Ouma.

**Mother Hen:** well, the library is mostly clear. How is progress up there?

**Undercut Goddess:** Found Yonaga and Shinguji’s labs, plus a weird massive computer past a pane of glass we broke

**Mother Hen:** Huh. Is it usable?

**Undercut Goddess:** It’s dusty

**Undercut Goddess:** Is Shuichi down there?

**Mother Hen:** He is now, yes. He appears to be looking for any signs of damage to the hidden door.

**Undercut Goddess:** Alright, we’ll let Iruma check out the computer when she’s awake

**Lacks Common Sense:** Anything else interesting up there?

**Snappy Beansprout:** It’s super scary

**Lacks Common Sense:** Scary? What’s scary about it?

**Snappy Beansprout:** The hallways are painted red but super splotchy, and it’s all lit by dim candles so all the shadows are freaky. Feels like where a ghost would haunt you

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...yep. Glad I went with the library.

**Moronsexual:** dummys shakin like a leaf

**Salty Bean:** Nice to have you back, Harukawa.

**Moronsexual:** sure, whatev

**Moronsexual:** goin back to the room, Kaito

**Lacks Common Sense:** alright

**Lacks Common Sense:** Love you <3

**Moronsexual:** <3

**Moronsexual is offline**

**Salty Bean:** That’s a lot of sap.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Yep!

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** That’s the most she’s said all day

**Lacks Common Sense:** ….also true.

**UwU Menace:** i almost like her better when she was quiet smh

**Mother Hen:** Must you.

**UwU Menace:** yes :)

**Mother Hen:** ….of course.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Lucky you you’re up three floors.

**UwU Menace:** or is it cause its the scawwy floow and youd piss your pants coming up here question mark :)

**Undercut Goddess:** … @ Gremlin Translator

**UwU Menace:** snitch

**Gremlin Translator:** ……

**Gremlin Translator:** Hey Kaito c’mere a second.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ??? sure??

**UwU Menace:** owo 

**Gremlin Translator:** ….what?

**Lacks Common Sense:** …..honestly I don’t think a bigger blast is going to do anything?

**Gremlin Translator:** ….yeah I wondered that. Do you think maybe going for what’s holding it to the wall?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Hm, maybe.

**Arachnophobia:** where Gonta take broken bookshelves?

**Snappy Beansprout:** Maybe we could have a campfire and make smores?

**Sweet Bean:** Oh that would definitely be fun

**Sweet Bean:** Also are y’all still trying to blow up the door?

**Lacks Common Sense:** blowing up the door probably isn’t going to work. This door honestly feels almost like the material used in rockets? Which means explosions aren’t going to do anything to it

**Gremlin Translator:** Why is a door made of something like that,  _ here _ , though.

**Lacks Common Sense:** I have no idea.

**Sweet Bean:** ...we’ll get back to that topic in a second. Have y’all heard the story where a king was so worried about enemies coming into his castle that he reinforced the door so much that absolutely no one could get in, but when war actually broke out all the enemies had to do was carve a hole in the wall next to the door? Maybe that could apply here?

**Gremlin Translator:** ...we do have to remove the damaged bookshelves anyway, so they can be fixed or tossed.

**Lacks Common Sense:** …...oh great, the destructive tendencies are spreading. I’m already thinking of what would work to break through the wall.

**Lacks Common Sense:** …...okay lesson learned stop making Shuichi laugh.

**Gremlin Translator:** uuuugh I hate thiiiis.

**Undercut Goddess:** Well I think we’re done up here for now. Should we meet up in the library or just all go our separate ways?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Well it’s almost lunch time, I think?

**Lacks Common Sense:** No Tojo that was not aimed at you. We can fend for ourselves for a day and give you a break.

**Undercut Goddess:** Yea! You just rest

**Snappy Beansprout:** NYehh? But mommy makes the best food

**Gremlin Translator:** She does, but everyone needs a break sometimes.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Guess that’s true. She could probably use more mana

**Mother Hen:** I suppose….

**Salty Bean:** Besides, seeing Ran being domestic is pretty cute.

**Sweet Bean:** Haha, you’re too kind. There is the problem of me only knowing how to make breakfast stuff though

**Gremlin Translator:** I could try to make something? 

**Undercut Goddess:** I could make some pasta

**Lacks Common Sense:** I definitely wouldn’t be any help. I’m hopeless with cooking.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** I can cook meat decently

**Gremlin Translator:** The three of us I think can handle it?

**Undercut Goddess:** Teamwork!

**Sweet Bean:** Teamwork! :D

**Gremlin Translator:** Well then I’m gonna head to the kitchen.

**Snappy Beansprout:** I hope it’s good. My tummy’s doing the rumblies

**Lacks Common Sense:** Oh! Sorry Gonta, I guess the shelves can go in the hallway for now?

**Arachnophobia:** Ok, Gonta put them down then

**Sweet Bean:** Were you carrying those the whole time??

**Arachnophobia:** Gentleman not litter

**Sweet Bean:** ….shit man, more power to ya I guess.

**Lacks Common Sense:** I guess the wall is on the to-do list after lunch?

**Undercut Goddess:** I’ll take Iruma to the computer room if she’s awake after lunch

**Gremlin Translator:** honestly a nap sounds good after lunch?

**Snappy Beansprout:** naaaaaaps

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (After Kokichi tells Shuichi no to whatever plan)

_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ i am intrigued    
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ do you have an idea question mark   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ I do. It's risky as hell but it might work.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ spill    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ well you probably already realized part of it.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ I think one of us is working with Monokuma   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ me mentioning (okay kinda overdramatically fixating) on the door in the library sent them into panic mode, but got us access to more of the school. Doing it again might yield similar results.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ and before you complain (or suggest someone else do it) I'm still going to be a target because I'm already clearly a threat and where else would they get the information besides from me. As far as I know the idea of a mastermind isn't exactly shared among everyone.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ mmmmmmm it is convenient that monokuma knows exactly how and when to hit us a traitor in our group would definitely explain quite a few things    
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ and while i dont disagree that youre a target at least wait a bit youre still fucking purple in places or like let me help :)   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ You’re the one that wanted me to use my detective brain more   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ I realize that was the sleep deprivation talking.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ So are you going to tell me what you’ve been working on if I tell you what I’m planning?   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ hmmmm how much would i have to tell you    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ How much should  _ I _ tell  _ you _ ?   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ -_-   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ hnnnn its easier to show you but its just mainly blueprints for things   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Well sounds like we’re about even because the most I’ve got is half-baked ideas on how to send a mastermind that may or may not exist into panic mode and make them mess up somehow.   
_ Ouma Kokichi _ : as long as you arent like messed up as much or worse than last time    
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ sounds fun festive and im in   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Believe me, I don’t enjoy being in this state any more than you like seeing it, dearest.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ But if it helps get everyone out of here, being injured seems like a small price to pay.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ ‘injured’ my ass if youd been there longer you probably could have died   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ but ok sure fine whatever    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ No, you’re right. I’m sorry.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ I just… don’t particularly like thinking about that so I was trying to make a joke out of it.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ hghnnn dont be sorry dumbass its not like it was your fault god   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ and yeah i get that sorry for bring it up    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ You don’t need to be sorry, dearest. You were making a valid point.

###  **///////Chapter Fourteen End\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

Name List

Saihara Shuichi: Gremlin Translator   
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace   
Akamatsu Kaede: Undercut Goddess   
Chabashira Tenko: Simps For Pretty Girls   
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush   
K1-B0: Factory Reset   
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense   
Harukawa Maki: Moronsexual   
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen   
Shinguji Korekiyo: Murderous Coward   
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout   
Yonaga Angie: Atua’s Messenger   
Shirogane Tsumugi: Struggling Fangirl   
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia   
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean   
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty Bean 


	15. Do You Wanna Join a Cult? We Have Wax Idols

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fire: A simpler chapter today. Enjoy the halfway point
> 
> Tango: OOOOOHHHHH WE‘RE HALF WAY THEREEEE   
> OOOOOOOO SQUIDWARD ON A CHAIRRR ~~im not original ok:D~~

**Undercut Goddess:** OK

**Undercut Goddess:** Why is there a tiny wax figurine of some kind of angel on my piano?

**Atua’s Messenger:** It is an idol of Atua. I made it to provide safety and ensure he is always present during intimate times

**Undercut Goddess:** IT WAS ONE TIME!!!

**Atua’s Messenger:** Then why did Angie hear noises inside last night?

**Undercut Goddess:** ...you heard nothing

**Salty Bean:** Well that’s one way to ensure (almost) no one will hear you

**Baby’s First Crush:** Well at least you fuckin turned off the microphone first

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** In Matsu’s defense, I started it

**Baby’s First Crush:** Good for you, ya thirsty lesb

**Salty Bean:** Hey, we’re not judging. We’re all teenagers here, we get it.

**Undercut Goddess:** Well in respect for your god, Angie, I’m just gonna return this idol to your lab instead of smashing it

**Atua’s Messenger:** While I appreciate the not-smashing, there will still be consequences

**Mother Hen:** threat of consequences does little to convince anyone who was not already willing to be convinced, Yonaga.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh but but buuuut, it is simply how the world is if you are not giving yourself over to Atua. But don’t worry, you all will understand someday that Atua is All

**Atua’s Messenger:** So how is our possessed friend, Tojo?

**Mother Hen:** Well, he’s eating when brought food, at least. So it’s something.

**Salty Bean:** ….out of curiosity, why are you asking her instead of going to check yourself? Your labs are on the same floor.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh do not worry, tiny one. Angie makes plenty of visits spreading Atua’s love and care to him. However he is still quite shy. Luckily those two have regular conversations

**Sweet Bean:** He has a name, you know

**Mother Hen:** well, he said last time that he may have found a way to determine if the spirit possessing him truly is his sister or not.

**UwU Menace:** is he gonna fuck it question mark

**Gremlin Translator:** Kokichi…

**UwU Menace:** hehe

**Mother Hen:** ...no…?

**UwU Menace:** well thats boring then

**Undercut Goddess:** Why are you you

**Gremlin Translator:** because it wouldn’t be fun otherwise, is my guess at the answer.

**UwU Menace:** :3

**Salty Bean:** So what is this possible solution?

**Murderous Coward:** A seance.

**Gremlin Translator:** ...what kind of seance?

**Murderous Coward:** An ancient yet powerful one called The Caged Child.

**UwU Menace:** ooooooo sounds exciting 

**Salty Bean:** ...what would it require? How does it work?

**Murderous Coward:** I require a dark room and four participants. Everything else I need is in the Research Lab.

**Sweet Bean:** ahahaha I think the Fuck Not.

**Murderous Coward:** I understand your hesitation, Amami.

**Mother Hen:** What would these four participants be doing?

**Murderous Coward:** Three of them will join me in standing in the four corners of the room and engaging in the ritual. The fourth will be the spirit medium in the center of the room, curled like a turtle beneath a large cage and statue of the Dog God.

**Salty Bean:** ….sounds like an easy way to kill that fourth person.

**Murderous Coward:** How so?

**Salty Bean:** depending on who gets the room ready there could be any number of traps set. Plus in complete darkness you, or anyone really, could make your way to the cage and stab the person since they can’t run.

**Murderous Coward:** And what would I gain in such a situation? If anyone ends up dead from here on out, it will be pinned on me.

**Salty Bean:** I thought of that, which is why I noted that anyone could do it, because we’d all immediately blame you.

**Murderous Coward:** I see, so you expect one of us to take up Monokuma’s offer of escaping with one other person.

**Salty Bean:** I don’t necessarily expect it, but it’s still a possibility.

**Sweet Bean:** Really anyone could kill at any time, I don’t deny this but is there really no other seance that you could do that  _ doesn’t  _ involve others?

**Murderous Coward:** I will continue my search. I only bring this one up because it is one I have seen works and the clan who developed it were masters of contacting the departed.

**Sweet Bean:** Hmm well..just, keep searching.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Don’t forget that that First Blood perk is still in play too. So Shinguji  _ could _ kill someone and get away with it by claiming that.

**Murderous Coward:** I had actually forgotten that perk was still active.

**Mother Hen:** if nothing else presents itself, however, it should still be an option to keep in mind. I assume there are specific requirements for the spirit medium?

**Murderous Coward:** Simply that it be a female since we are contacting one.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** No way! You aren’t putting a girl into a clear murder trap

**Mother Hen:** …..

**Murderous Coward:** I understand your concern, Chabashira.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Atua says Korekiyo can be trusted

**Baby’s First Crush:** Guess what, you kooky bitch? You’re the only one who believes that shit or in your god

**Mother Hen:** If we were to assist with this ritual, the most logical choice for the medium would likely be myself.

**Murderous Coward:** Kirumi… yes, I suppose you would do well.

**Mother Hen:** It may ultimately be foolish of me, but I do believe Korekiyo’s assertion that he would not willingly harm me.

**Sweet Bean:** Tojo……

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Well then I want to be at the seance to make sure he doesn’t try anything

**Mother Hen:** Additionally, I could not ask another to do something I am not willing to do myself.

**Mother Hen:** I would not object to that, Chabashira.

**Sweet Bean:** I...still don’t like this but fine, I’ll come as well. 

**Murderous Coward:** We require one more volunteer.

**UwU Menace:** oooo me me me me me 

**Murderous Coward:** Very well. One of the empty rooms upstairs would work best since they can be pitch black, assisting with the seance and preventing me from effectively moving around.

**Gremlin Translator:** so we’re decided on this or are we still wanting Shinguji-san to keep looking first?

**Sweet Bean:** I’d prefer he kept looking for now

**Murderous Coward:** I will spend another few days searching my Lab. Hopefully I find something you all will be satisfied with.

**Undercut Goddess:** Alright then… is the spirit causing any problems?

**Murderous Coward:** Sister is insisting this is unnecessary, but I would still like to prove it to you all.

**Gremlin Translator:** honestly continuing to insist on it not being necessary just makes me more suspicious that the spirit is, in fact, not your sister.

**Murderous Coward:** Still, I hope you understand why I am not quite ready to say out loud that possibility.

**Gremlin Translator:** I do understand. Hopefully it can be proven for certain one way or the other.

**Murderous Coward:** Thank you, Saihara.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Do I have to attend the spirit thing too? I don’t like the dark…

**Salty Bean:** is there any rules on spectators?

**Lacks Common Sense:** I'm with Yumeno on this. Spirit stuff is really not my thing.

**Moronsexual:** I’ll say, the bed’s shaking just from you freaking out

**Murderous Coward:** Attendance is not required and I would prefer as few people attend as possible so the room is not crowded.

**Lacks Common Sense:** c'mon Maki why you gotta call me out like this.

**Gremlin Translator:** I suppose that makes sense….

**Moronsexual:** Cause you woke me up with the shaking and I thought something was wrong

**Lacks Common Sense:** damn it….

**Moronsexual:** It’s fine, dummy. I’ll pwotec you fwom de spiwits

**UwU Menace:** oh

**UwU Menace:** my

**UwU Menace:** god

**Gremlin Translator:** Kokichi.

**Gremlin Translator:** No.

**Gremlin Translator:** I know exactly what you're going to do.

**Gremlin Translator:** Do not.

**Salty Bean:** baby talk? Really?

**Lacks Common Sense:** S H U T

**Moronsexual:** I T

**Salty Bean:** and if I say no?

**Moronsexual:** ….nothing. Sorry for trying (and probably failing) to cheer up my boyfriend 

**Lacks Common Sense:** nah, you didn't fail. ❤️

**Salty Bean:** of all the things I was expecting…

**Salty Bean:** sorry, didn't mean to upset you, Harukawa.

**Moronsexual:** it’s not you. Whatever, make fun of me if you want, anyone

**Baby’s First Crush:** Well if you insist

**Factory Reset:** Miu.

**Factory Reset:** ...is everything alright, Harukawa-san?

**Moronsexual:** It’s nothing  **(DM 1)**

**Factory Reset:** …... alright, if you're sure…

**Baby’s First Crush:** Ugh, nevermind. No fun poking fun at people feeling depressed 

**UwU Menace:** aww but thats all the fun iruma youre just a pussy :p

**Baby’s First Crush:** Bitch you WISH you had this thing

**UwU Menace:** no

**UwU Menace:** i am very much happy with my eight inch drdcbnkynrdww

**Salty Bean:** I'm just going to assume Saihara had a hand in that keysmash.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ... probably a safe assumption.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Yup

**Baby’s First Crush:** Hah, that puny gremlin wishes he was that big where it counts

**Salty Bean:** …..not an image I needed in my head, thanks.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Eight inch what?

**Gremlin Translator:** …. nothing important, Yumeno-chan.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Then why is Iruma saying he wishes he had whatever it is?

**Salty Bean:** …..make Iruma tell her.

**Gremlin Translator:** …. let's not.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Oh god she’s so innocent…. Just ignore like 99% of what I say, Yumeno

**Snappy Beansprout:** Nyeh? Ok

**Gremlin Translator:** ….yeah probably a smart idea. Though maybe 90%. Not  _ everything _ Iruma says is an innuendo.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Around Kii maybe

**Factory Reset:** around me….? What about me?

**Baby’s First Crush:** I just… act different when you’re around

**Factory Reset** : huh. I have noticed that a bit.

**Undercut Goddess:** Cause she likes you

**Baby’s First Crush:** Yea yea, shut it

**Factory Reset:** well, I like her too.

**Baby’s First Crush:** You sure?

**Factory Reset:** ? Yes.

**Factory Reset:** I still don't have much memory of what our relationship was like prior to my memory loss. But my fondness for you still remains, and I've gained new memories to support it.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Oh. Sweet

**Gremlin Translator:** Awwwwe

**Baby’s First Crush:** Don’t make this awkward

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Too late for that

**Gremlin Translator:** It’s kinda adorable.

**Undercut Goddess:** Yea, Im glad you two are back together

**Baby’s First Crush:** yea yea stop it

**Lacks Common Sense:** oh, is that official now, then?

**Baby’s First Crush:** I mean… if Kii says so

**Factory Reset:** I certainly wouldn’t mind it.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Congratulations

**Baby’s First Crush:** That’s odd of you to say… but thanks

**Snappy Beansprout:** Nyeh, I'm trying to be nicer

**Factory Reset:** that's admirable of you, Yumeno-chan.

**Factory Reset:** Miu, time to take a break from that computer.

**Baby’s First Crush:** But its so coooool and advanced

**Factory Reset:** and  _ you _ need food and rest. I will drag you away if I have to.

**Baby’s First Crush:** NEVER!

**Factory Reset:** …. remember, you brought this on yourself.

**Factory Reset is offline**

**Baby’s First Crush:** Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

**Baby’s First Crush is offline**

**Moronsexual:** Alright… was not expecting to walk out of my room and see Kiibo dragging Iruma and a bag full of food along to his room

**Gremlin Translator:** that sounds both awkward and hilarious to witness

**Moronsexual:** Do I look like someone that laughs?

**Gremlin Translator:** yes

**Lacks Common Sense:** yep

**Moronsexual:** Shush, Kaito

**Lacks Common Sense:** ❤

**Gremlin Translator:** :)

**Moronsexual:** No. Stop that

**Gremlin Translator:** but why

**Moronsexual:** You know what you’re doing

**Gremlin Translator:** I do indeed. :))))

**Lacks Common Sense:** some of the gremlin's confidence must have rubbed off on you, Shuichi.

**Gremlin Translator:** maybe so.

**Moronsexual:** Ughhhh, glad Im back in my room

**Gremlin Translator:** so you can blush in peace?

**Moronsexual:** Why am I friends with you

**Gremlin Translator:** because of Kaito?

**Lacks Common Sense:** you know you love us, Maki.

**Moronsexual:** ….

**Salty Bean:** as much as I hate to interrupt the friendship fest, has anyone seen Tojo recently? Last I knew she was headed up to the fourth floor and she hasn't said anything since.

**Murderous Coward:** She stopped by for a brief chat but then walked back towards Yonaga’s lab.

**Mother Hen:** my apologies for worrying anyone. Yonaga-san and I were having an interesting discussion about art mediums.

**Salty Bean:** huh. Alright then.

**Lacks Common Sense:** didn't know you were into art, too, Tojo.

**Mother Hen:** I seem to be discovering many new things about myself while we're trapped here.

**Murderous Coward:** Interesting. What art medium currently interests you?

**Mother Hen** : sculptures, specifically with clay are my current focus. And who better to ask about them than someone who regularly works with them.

**Undercut Goddess:** like the one she stuck on my piano?

**Atua’s Messenger:** Yes yes indeed, Akamatsu

**Lacks Common Sense:** huh. And she's not trying to convert you to her cult?

**Mother Hen:** the topic has come up. But really she is nowhere near as insistent about it as she comes off in the chat occasionally.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Well you’re a wonderful listener, Tojojojo. Angie is pleased to mention Atua’s blessing less when someone is willing to simply listen

**Lacks Common Sense:** really? That's all it takes?

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh of course, simply come up to my lab if you’d like a chat. Atua will be happy to make a new friend

**Gremlin Translator:** and what would  _ Yonaga _ think about it?

**Atua’s Messenger:** Huh?

**Gremlin Translator:** you talk about what Atua wants a lot… what about what  _ you _ want?

**Atua’s Messenger:** Angie wants what Atua wants

**Gremlin Translator:** huh. All the time?

**Atua’s Messenger:** Well of course, Atua’s desires are what matters

**Lacks Common Sense:** ….what are you getting at, Shuichi?

**Gremlin Translator:** it's nothing. Nevermind.

**Atua’s Messenger:** You are very stressed, Saihara. Atua can help relieve you of this stress. Just look at Tojojojo, doesn’t she look much more relaxed now?

**Gremlin Translator:** well, if Atua has any ideas about how to get out of this place, I'm all ears.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Hmmm, Angie will pray to him for guidance

**Lacks Common Sense:** we could always try to get through the library wall again?

**Gremlin Translator:** sure, why not.

**Moronsexual:** Alright I’ll get to work on a bomb

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh, Atua says to make two triple pvc pipe bombs

**Moronsexual:** ….what?

**Gremlin Translator:** o.o that'd be a big explosion.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Yes indeed. Bye bye bye door

**Lacks Common Sense:** well I don't know about the  _ door _ , considering what it's made of, but definitely bye-bye  _ wall _ .

**Atua’s Messenger:** If it works it works

**Lacks Common Sense:** true enough. What do you think, Maki? Can you make those?

**Moronsexual:** The question isn’t “Can I make it?” It’s “Will there still be a basement?”

**Gremlin Translator:** that is an important question.

**Atua’s Messenger:** I’m sure it will be fine, Atua will protect me and you all

**Undercut Goddess:** I don’t like that you separated yourself from us

**Gremlin Translator:** ….hm, that should probably be more of a last resort.

**Moronsexual:** Fine by me

**Lacks Common Sense:** a sledgehammer should do just as well.

**Sweet Bean:** I can get behind that idea

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Oooo, I’ve always wanted to try using one of those

**Lacks Common Sense:** Don't think I saw any in the warehouse.

**Gremlin Translator:** we could make some?

**Lacks Common Sense:** ????

**Gremlin Translator:** there's those vaulting poles in the warehouse… cut a couple of those in half and attach shot put balls, also in the warehouse.

**Lacks Common Sense:** I mean, sure, but attach how?

**Gremlin Translator:** Yonaga-san, do you have any sort of adhesive substance in your Ultimate Lab?

**Atua’s Messenger:** Yes yes indeed, Saihara. How strong of an adhesive will do?

**Gremlin Translator:** ideally, strong enough so that the shot put balls won't come off when they hit the wall.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Hmm hmmmmm. I’ll see what I can mix together

**Lacks Common Sense:** and if that doesn't work we can always ask Iruma, too.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Sounds good. Atua be with us

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Yeaaaaaa, no you kooky bitch

**Gremlin Translator:** at this point if it helps get us out of here faster I'm all for it.

**Atua’s Messenger:** I knew you’d understand, Saisai. Angie will get you that adhesive as soon as possible

**Gremlin Translator:** ….Saisai?

**UwU Menace:** hey only i can give shumai nicknames back off >:(

**Atua's Messenger:** Oooohhh? But Akamatsu has given him one.

**UwU Menace** : -_- ok and question mark 

**Atua's Messenger:** but if only you can do this thing, then how has she done it?

**UwU Menace:** cuz shu would get mad mad if i fought akamatsu I dont give a shit if he gets mad if i fight you

**Atua's Messenger:** I see, I see. It is a privilege to be fought for?

**Atua's Messenger:** so if Angie wins then the purple one loses nickname privileges?

**UwU Menace:** oh youre on bitch meet me in the pit

**Atua's Messenger:** what pit? Angie sees no pit.

**Gremlin Translator:** …. Kokichi…. Why are you fighting Yonaga.

**UwU Menace:** oh right you cant see the pit 

**UwU Menace:** im talking about the giant dent in your head from when you were dropped as a kid ;)

**UwU Menace:** she challenged the natural order shuichi this must be done

**Atua's Messenger:** such large talk for such a small boy.

**Atua's Messenger:** if Angie has a pit the purple one must have a crater. Angie is surprised Ouma can see at all :)

**UwU Menace:** we are literally the same fucking height 

**UwU** **Menace** : oh but i guess you must feel sooooo tall on that religious high horse of yours huh question mark

**UwU Menace:** and hah couldnt have been dropped as a kid if you werent held as one so try again :)

**Atua's Messenger:** indeed, Atua holds all of His children very close. It is a pity you have yet to experience the sort of love He can provide.

**Atua's Messenger:** however feral puppies must be house trained first. Your master is slacking in his responsibilities.

**UwU Menace:** alright thats it bitch get over here

**UwU Menace is offline** **(DM 2)(DM 3)**

**Gremlin Translator:** …..you’ve gotta be kidding me.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Perhaps some training in manners would not go amiss.

**Gremlin Translator:** okay you should really stop talking or I won’t actually stop him.

**Atua’s Messenger:** I am not afraid of a rabid child.

**Gremlin Translator:** Are you sure that’s a wise decision? 🙃

**Gremlin Translator is offline**

**Atua’s Messenger:** I have no fear. The door to my lab is locked.

**Sweet Bean:** ….you do realize Ouma can pick locks right? 

**Atua’s Messenger:** ...perhaps Angie has one small fear.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...are we sure  _ I _ should be the one with this name still?

**Sweet Bean:** ...There can be two….

**Lacks Common Sense:** Also I  _ sincerely _ doubt Shuichi went offline to  _ stop _ Ouma.

**Sweet Bean:** ..yeah probably.

**Sweet Bean:** I’ll uh go make sure Yonaga isn’t hurt too bad.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ….I kinda wanna record this…?

**Sweet Bean:** So, I’ve been at Yonaga’s lab for a bit and so far Ouma hasn’t shown up?

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...huh.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Maybe he’s coming from the dorms? Weren’t you already in the school?

**Sweet Bean:** Ah yeah maybe.

**Sweet Bean:** ….Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Is Shuichi with him? Maybe that’s what took him longer?

**Undercut Goddess:** I’m away for like 20 minutes to…nevermind. So what’s going on?

**Sweet Bean:** tryinf to wrangle a gremlin and type at the smae time 

**Undercut Goddess:** Ah, one of those days

**Sweet Bean:** ...He left into one of the vents. I can’t tell if that’s good or not, cuz I mean he left but… vents.

**Salty Bean:** May want to get into that lab before he does.

**Sweet Bean:** _ Yonaga open up _

**Atua’s Messenger:** ...the devil gremlin has not found his way in.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Angie shall let you in anyway.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Matsu, don’t forget your jacket

**Lacks Common Sense:** Hm. I wonder why Akamatsu had her jacket off.

**Undercut Goddess:** ...you know why. And we were in my room so don’t worry about that

**Lacks Common Sense:** is he still hiding..?

**Atua’s Messenger:** ….he has yet to reveal himself again.

**Snappy Beansprout:** That can’t be good

**Gremlin Translator is online**

**UwU Menace is online**

**Gremlin Translator:** If he’s going to kill me I’m going to deserve it.

**Gremlin Translator:** So uh we may or may not have accidentally proposed to each other

**Undercut Goddess:** I already called Maid of Honor so no one ask for it

**Sweet Bean:** ...Accidentally? Also I want in on the wedding party

**Gremlin Translator:** He made a semi joking comment about it in response to something I said and I thought he was completely serious so I responded like he was and uh. Yeah. That happened.

**Gremlin Translator:** ...long story short I have a wonderful, amazing fiance now so  _ something _ good came out of a certain someone being a condescending bitch and asking to get her ass kicked.

**UwU Menace:** youre dead to me shuichi

**Gremlin Translator:** :))) I love you too my amazingly attractive fiance.

**Gremlin Translator:** No I will never get tired of calling you that.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Okay first of all  _ mood _

**Lacks Common Sense:** Second you have weird taste but congrats, man.

**UwU Menace:** dont worry about attending a wedding im going to smother him in his sleep tonight 

**Gremlin Translator:** yeah I’m just gonna go hide with Kaede now that she and Tenko are back online.

**UwU Menace:** you cant hide forever  _ hubby _ <3

**Undercut Goddess:** Awwwwwww

**Gremlin Translator:** _adsdssafsdfsfds_

**Gremlin Translator:** I will never get tired of  _ that _ either.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Geez yall are sappy as fuck

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...because you have  _ so much _ room to talk about other people being sappy, Iruma

**Baby’s First Crush:** The fuck you blathering on about, Space Idiot

**Moronsexual:** I’m going to ask you once to never call him that again

**Baby’s First Crush:** Or what?

**Lacks Common Sense:** you and Kiibo, obviously.

**Baby’s First Crush:** Shut up, Space Idiot. We are not THAT bad

**Moronsexual:** I warned you

**Moronsexual is offline**

**Lacks Common Sense:** Maki…..

**Gremlin Translator:** try pet names? If it won’t get you in trouble.

**Lacks Common Sense has changed Moronsexual to My Sun and Stars**

**Lacks Common Sense:** @My Sun and Stars Maki.

**My Sun and Stars is online**

**My Sun and Stars:** What do you want?

**Lacks Common Sense:** I appreciate it, but she’s harmless.

**My Sun and Stars:** ...fine. Too much work destroying that computer anyways

**Baby’s First Crush:** IM SORRY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY BITCH?

**Factory Reset:** Miu. My angel. Please do not.

**Baby’s First Crush:** SHE FUCKING THREATENED THAT AMAZING COMPUTER!!!

**My Sun and Stars:** And then I took it back

**Lacks Common Sense:** you did get, and ignore, an “or else”

**Baby’s First Crush:** Ugh. Fine. Kii Im coming back to the room

**Factory Reset:** Thank you.

**Sweet Bean:** Ah young love, brings a tear to my eye :’D

**My Sun and Stars:** Too sappy

**Undercut Goddess:** You ok, Harukawa?

**My Sun and Stars:** I’m fine. Don’t worry

**Lacks Common Sense:** come on, join the trend, Amami. You know you want to

**Sweet Bean:** Listen, I love Yoma. But this isn’t the time for proposing

**Salty Bean:** ...hold up,  _ w h a t _

**Lacks Common Sense:** I meant with the cutesy nicknames, but hey, tell us how ya  _ really _ feel.

**Sweet Bean:** Sorry to disappoint, but Yoma is my only nickname for him. I like it and he likes it, simple as that

**Lacks Common Sense:** You’ve never called him  _ anything _ that made him blush?

**Salty Bean:** He has.

**Sweet Bean:** Oh? The only one I can think of is Yoma

**Salty Bean:** Good.

**Sweet Bean:** Oh well. I don’t mind just one nickname

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** Matsu meanwhile blushes at almost anything

**Undercut Goddess:** Tennnnyyyy

**Lacks Common Sense:** Don’t think we didn’t catch  _ your _ reaction to being called “master”, Chabashira.

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** >/////////////////////<

**Undercut Goddess:** Oh really?

**Simps For Pretty Girls:** MATSUUUUUU

**Gremlin Translator:** :))))))

**Undercut Goddess:** Oh, my apologies Master Tenko

**Simps For Pretty Girls is offline**

**Undercut Goddess:** Oop, maybe hold off on that visit, Shujagpl

**Undercut Goddess is offline**

**Gremlin Translator:** Well, I’m doomed. As soon as my gorgeous fiance finds me, anyway.

**UwU Menace:** :)

**Baby’s First Crush:** Well they seem to be enjoying some fuckin

**Lacks Common Sense:** Good for them, I guess.

**Murderous Coward:** How wonderful that they can be so comfortable with each other.

**Gremlin Translator:** Time to find a comfortable place to be attacked, I guess.

**Sweet Bean:** Good luck with that

**Snappy Beansprout:** so am I the only one confused about why Chabashira dragged Akamatsu into their room like that?

**Factory Reset:** …...yes, most likely.

**Snappy Beansprout:** Nyehhh, someone tell me then

**Sweet Bean:** ...

**Baby’s First Crush:** ...

**Arachnophobia:** Gonta also confused

**Factory Reset:** …

**Gremlin Translator:** ...can we just say ‘adult things’ and leave it at that?

**Snappy Beansprout:** Fine, guess that’s all anyone will tell me

**UwU Menace:** found you motherfucker

**UwU Menace:** youre dead mr saihara shuichi 

**Gremlin Translator:** am I?

**Gremlin Translator:** I might have gotten some ideas from Kaede and Tenko

**Gremlin Translator:** c’mere and I’ll show you :P

**Gremlin Translator is offline**

**My Sun and Stars:** God you’re all annoying…

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...avoid dorms got it.

**Sweet Bean:** Sounds like a plan

**My Sun and Stars:** Fine by me, I’ll just be in my lab making the bombs

**Lacks Common Sense:** I’ll go get materials for the sledgehammers from the warehouse.

**Atua’s Messenger:** Angie has successfully glued two panes of glass together. The adhesive is ready

**Lacks Common Sense:** Awesome

**Atua’s Messenger:** Now make sure not to get any of this on you, cause only Atua will have the power to free you from it

**Lacks Common Sense:** fair enough I guess. On my way up since I think Ouma is successfully  _ distracted _ .

**Atua’s Messenger:** Of course of course, all are welcome in here

**My Sun and Stars:** Bombs should be ready in an hour, assuming Kaito stops kissing my head and making cheesy remarks

**Lacks Common Sense:** Aw, but what’s the fun in that.

**My Sun and Stars:** Just… go deal with the cult girl before she gets impatient and eats the glue

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh no, this glue is not for eating

**Atua’s Messenger:** In fact, Angie once saw a man punished with this glue by sealing his mouth

**Lacks Common Sense:** Jesus, what’d he  _ do _ ?

**Atua’s Messenger:** He betrayed Atua and attempted to spread lies throughout our church

**My Sun and Stars:** So should we all expect a similar punishment for our disbelief?

**Atua’s Messenger:** Not at all, because most of you have not accepted Atua into your hearts so Angie is unable to punish. But but buuuut, if you accept him into your heart, then you will be saved and not require punishment anyways

**Lacks Common Sense:** What sort of “lies”, exactly?

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh such terrible things. I dare not say, else I risk Atua’s wrath on me and my family

**My Sun and Stars:** But perhaps if we hear these “lies”, we will understand more and be less likely to sin

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh, that is a good point, Kawa. Very well, Angie will tell.

**Atua’s Messenger:** He attempted to trick people into believing that Atua was made up, and we all were part of some kind of cult. But that is ridiculous, because Atua did not want money or possessions, just our bodies and souls. Sadly, Angie was young and naive so she believed the man for a while. Luckily my priest found me and saved me from that man

**Sweet Bean:** ...you say you believed him? Was he your father?

**Atua’s Messenger:** Oh there are no fathers or mothers at my church and home. We are all family as children of Atua. But yes, he was the man that helped give me a body

**Lacks Common Sense:** I-....  _ that’s fucked up _ .

**Atua’s Messenger:** It is as it is. He attempted to take me from Atua and my family, so he had to repent and atone. I’m sure he found his way back to Atua as he wasted away unable to open his mouth. Hm, I haven’t thought of him in years

**Atua’s Messenger:** Forgive me, I must return to my lab and pray for self peace again

**Atua’s Messenger is offline**

**Lacks Common Sense:** ……..that…. I guess happened…..

**Lacks Common Sense:** _fuck_.

**Murderous Coward:** Forgive my intrusion, but I have no doubt that she was born into a cult. A powerful and dark one too.

**Lacks Common Sense:** …...that’s… yeah.

**Murderous Coward:** You see, in my search for a way to discover my truth I found a text about ancient Oceanic gods and found Atua in there. However nothing matches what Miss Yonaga has said about him.

**Lacks Common Sense:** Nothing…?

**Salty Bean:** so her church…. Made up a version of an ancient god?

**Murderous Coward:** I’m not sure if it’s a faction of her region’s main religion that went wrong, or if someone schemed the whole thing. Either way, the text Atua was a peaceful god of flora and fauna.

**Salty Bean:** …..well we can’t just let her go back to that…..

**Snappy Beansprout:** ...maybe that book is wrong? Cause whenever she’d talk to me about Atua and her religion, it always sounded peaceful and kind

**Lacks Common Sense:** Sure, if you ignore the part where the priest or whatever literally glued a man’s mouth shut, and let him starve to death, for trying to get people out of that heaping pile of crazy.

**Snappy Beansprout:** He also said a bunch of lies according to Yonaga. Maybe this is a very rare thing and she just happened to be connected to it?

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...Yumeno-chan. The lie she talked about was telling people Atua wasn’t real.

**Lacks Common Sense:** In no sane, civilized world should  _ disagreeing about religion _ deserve a  _ death sentence _

**Murderous Coward:** While I am fully of the stance that she is in a harmful cult, what we define as “civilized” can be narrow minded at times. For some cultures, religion is everything. Granted, I still don’t believe what Yonaga went through was a real religion.

**Atua’s Messenger is online**

**Atua’s Messenger:** I see you all still can not accept Atua’s kind wisdom and guidance in your hearts. I will provide the adhesive as promised, but after that will only speak with those who have Him in their hearts.

**Atua’s Messenger is offline**

**Murderous Coward:** Alright, she’s retreating into herself with nowhere to run. That’s the first step done.

**Salty Bean:** ...first step?

**Murderous Coward:** Of freeing her from the cult. She was attempting to form a new one, starting with Yumeno, Saihara, and Kir-Tojo.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ….so what’s step two..?

**Murderous Coward:** Regain her trust. Since she was closest to… Yumeno, she can get access to Yonaga and talk with her.

**Sweet Bean:** Cool, cool… just one problem. No, we aren’t letting you toy with us again

**Mother Hen:** I must object to this plan. I believe Saihara or I should be the ones to approach her.  **(DM4)**

**My Sun and Stars:** Same here, Yumeno is very impressionable and could easily fall under her sway

**Snappy Beansprout:** Geez, thanks

**Mother Hen:** We do not mean to offend you, Himiko. I am merely concerned for your mana levels. What if Atua, through Yonaga, asks for you to sacrifice your magic to him?

**Snappy Beansprout:** Wh-What? Why would he?

**My Sun and Stars:** He’s already asked her to take blood from us, he wants us to give ourselves over completely. Maybe your magic would upset Atua

**Snappy Beansprout:** I... I just remembered I need to recharge my mana so I can’t go in there.

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...well that’s one way to do that. Which means… oh boy.

**My Sun and Stars:** What now, dummy?

**Lacks Common Sense:** You know the idiot’s going to volunteer.

**My Sun and Stars:** You mean Tojo?

**Lacks Common Sense:** Shuichi. As soon as he backreads.

**My Sun and Stars:** Good point

**Mother Hen:** There will be no need for him to do so.

**Murderous Coward:** Tojo has decided to reach out to Yonaga

**Lacks Common Sense:** ...honestly I don’t like the idea of any of you doing it. Not because I don’t think you can, but those kinds of mind games…. They’re not fun. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

**My Sun and Stars:** If this is you saying YOU want to be the one bring Yonaga down, then you better just stop thinking

**Lacks Common Sense:** Hahaha, no. I doubt she’d listen to or trust me even if I tried.

**My Sun and Stars:** Good, I was worried

**Lacks Common Sense:** No I just… have some experience with being on the receiving end of it. Not something I want to relive.

**My Sun and Stars:** Ok, Dummy. I’m here for you

**~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 1 (After Maki insists she’s fine)

_ Harukawa Maki:  _ Ughhhhh, how are you so good at this “People Person” thing?    
_ Momota Kaito: _ lots of practice, mostly.   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ Great, guess I’ll just be deathly quiet forever and scare off everyone   
_ Momota Kaito: _ nah, you'll get there eventually.   
_ Momota Kaito: _ I'm sure of it :)   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ Ugh, too sappy >/////////<   
_ Momota Kaito: _ only for you.   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ I know <3   
_ Momota Kaito: _ ❤️   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ You know, if this was when we first got to know each other, I’d say I hate how soft you make me   
_ Momota Kaito: _ well I'm glad I know you better than that now.   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ Me too   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ Well… guess since I’m feeling better I should give you your space back. Let me just find my room’s key   
_ Momota Kaito: _ you don't have to.   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ It’s fine. The beds here are small anyways and I don’t want to crowd you   
_ Momota Kaito: _ hey, far be it from me to complain about cuddles.   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ We can still cuddle. But you need your own space too   
_ Momota Kaito: _ I won't stop you if you really want to, Maki. But honestly? I actually want you to stay.   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ It’ll be fine, we’re only across the hall from each other if you need anything <3   
_ Harukawa Maki:  _ Hey, I still love you dummy   
_ Momota Kaito:  _ Never said you didn’t, Maki

**~~~~~~~**

DM 2 (just after Kokichi goes offline)

_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Hey.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ let me guess youre gonna try and get me to  _ not _ beat the shit out of her    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Absolutely not. She more than earned whatever she gets.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Just wondering if you wanted to help me prank her dorm tonight too.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ …..   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ marry me right now    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ ask me again when our families (yes I mean DICE for you) can attend.   
_ Ouma Kokichi _ : wait i was kinda kidding are you for serious    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ …….   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ ..maybe?   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Imeanobviouslyifyoudontwanttothatsfineitsnotlikeiwouldpressureyouoranything   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ no goddamn it I would be honored to marry your emo ass beloved this is just not how I wanted to ask lmao   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ I-..you….really?   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ >//////////////////<   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ nehehe your blush is so cuteeee   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ ...I am both excited and dreading you meeting my sister. Fair warning, she is as much, if not more, of a cuddler than me.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ oh no worries ive got plenty of practice with cuddles <3   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ <3   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ So does that mean I can call you my fiance now?   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ call me that in chat and youre sleeping on the floor <3   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ aw but maybe I want to announce it.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ could always pull a you and go yell in the courtyard.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ n o    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ w h y   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ hnnnnnn >////<   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Can I not brag about my amazing, wonderful, capable, exceedingly attractive  _ fiance _ ?   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ im going to stab you    
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ lovingly of course    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ If you must.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ but before you do, I'm going to embarrass the hell out of you (lovingly of course) by calling you every lovey name I can think of. In chat.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ not if i stab you first    
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Don’t you have someone to beat up first.   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ f u c k    
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ ill be back for you we arent done here   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ love you too <3

~~

_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ fuck amami is guarding her    
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ its stab time   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ would you like some help?   
_ Ouma Kokichi:  _ stabbing you question mark no i have that covered   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ No I meant getting to Yonaga not stabbing me.   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ You have to leave the vents eventually.

**~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 3 (shortly after Shuichi and Kokichi basically propose to each other)

_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Kaeeedeeeeeeeee!!!!!  _ Help me _   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ KokichikindajokinglyproposedandIthoughthewasserioussoItoldhimtoaskmeagainwhenourfamilescouldattendandheaskedifIwasseriousandIkindaamsoIguesswereengagednowandIdontknowwhattodoooooo   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ OH MY GOD CONGRATS I CALL MAID OF HONOR!   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ Unless… you don’t want this?   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ No, I do. I just.  _ That wasn’t how I wanted to do it _ .   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ I see. I’ll admit I’m not quite ready to get engaged to Tenny   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ I don’t know what to  _ do _ . Like. I want to propose  _ properly _ . But I don’t know how?   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ I get that. Just keep thinking on it   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ ...also I kinda want to punch Yonaga in the face but ya know. :))))   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ Yea, the nicknames she gave you and Tojo just don’t feel right to me   
_ Saihara Shuichi: _ Well, yes. But more for what she said to Kokichi.   
_ Akamatsu Kaede:  _ Ok yea. If you don’t kick her ass, I will

**~~~~~~~~~~~~**

DM 4 (after Kirumi abjects to Kiyo’s plan.

_ Tojo Kirumi: _ I understand what you intended, but I don’t believe sending the girl with the severe head injury into the clutches of someone raised by master manipulators is a wise idea.   
_ Shinguji Korekiyo:  _ I can’t send Saihara, he isn’t even remotely in tune with her enough. So my only other option was Yumeno.   
_ Tojo Kirumi: _ Given her current feud with his fiance, I believe you are correct that Saihara is not a wise choice. He is an honest person by nature and not easily capable of the level of deception this will require. But neither is Yumeno.   
_ Shinguji Korekiyo:  _ I can’t risk you. With you gone, I would be truly alone with Sister and unable to get the help of the others.   
_ Tojo Kirumi: _ I believe your… situation may work in my favor in this case. Yonaga has already offered to… intercede, shall we say, with Atua on your behalf. I believe using that to get closer to her may be the most efficient way to do so.   
_ Tojo Kirumi: _ Also, I trust you to be able to talk me back if I begin to lose myself to her manipulations.   
_ Shinguji Korekiyo:  _ ...very well. I won’t stop you, Tojo. But if at any point you feel in danger or at risk of her doing something, run to my lab.   
_ Tojo Kirumi: _ I will.   
_ Tojo Kirumi: _ Also.. I would not object if you continued to use my given name.   
_ Shinguji Korekiyo:  _ Well… maybe once Sister is gone. I’m not quite ready to trust myself with it.   
_ Tojo Kirumi: _ Alright. Have you found any alternatives to the seance? Or is that still the most likely option to work?   
_ Shinguji Korekiyo:  _ Depends which path I choose. If I decide to simply wash my hands of this without finding out if Sister is my sister, then I have found a few ways to free myself. But… I still feel a need to know for sure and the Caged Child still seems to be the best method written out in this library.   
_ Tojo Kirumi: _ I can’t promise it will restore everyone’s trust in you, but I will try to speak to the others about performing the seance.   
_ Shinguji Korekiyo:  _ Thank you, Tojo.

###  **//////Chapter Fifteen End\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

Name List

Saihara Shuichi: Gremlin Translator   
Ouma Kokichi: UwU Menace   
Akamatsu Kaede: Undercut Goddess   
Chabashira Tenko: Simps For Pretty Girls   
Iruma Miu: Baby’s First Crush   
K1-B0: Factory Reset   
Momota Kaito: Lacks Common Sense   
Harukawa Maki: My Sun and Stars   
Tojo Kirumi: Mother Hen   
Shinguji Korekiyo: Murderous Coward   
Yumeno Himiko: Snappy Beansprout   
Yonaga Angie: Atua’s Messenger   
Shirogane Tsumugi: Struggling Fangirl   
Gokuhara Gonta: Arachnophobia   
Amami Rantaro: Sweet Bean   
Hoshi Ryoma: Salty Bean 


End file.
